AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“I don’t understand why it had to be him. Of all the guys in the world, she had to marry Wes. The biggest question on my mind is why.”
Mom sighs. “The thing you have to understand, son, is that London was so in love with you that when you left it nearly broke her. She tried to be strong and pretend that she was coping with everything, but I could tell that she was lost without you. Now, Wes is my son, and I love him dearly, but he knew how London felt about you, and he pursued her anyway. I warned him to stop—that she was still stuck on you—but he refused to give up, and eventually that persistence wore London down. It’s hard not to feel something for the man who has been by your side constantly for the last five years while you went through a soul-crushing experience. Wes was that for her—there for her. He comforted her through the darkest times of her life. When she finally gave in and began to date him, I knew it would never last, even if my own son couldn’t see it. London was, and still is, too hung up on you to let someone else into her heart right now. Wes never had a chance with her.”
This was a new revelation. “You think she still loves me? Even after the hell I put her through—what I put all of you through?”
“I do,” she says simply. “Every time I talk to the girl, she asks if I’ve heard from you . . . even after all this time. It was hard to keep the fact that I was talking to you secret from her because I know how much she worries about you.”
I scrub my hand down my face. “This whole thing is so screwed up, Mom. How am I ever supposed to right so many wrongs?”
“Do you still love her?” Mom asks.
The answer to her question is an obvious yes. “Of course I do. Protecting her from the evil that was growing inside me is the whole reason I left. I tried to outrun myself and stay out of touch because I didn’t want to bring Wes or London down with me. It was selfish of me, but I did that because I loved her. I needed to get myself back under control before I could be good enough for her again.”
“Were you able to tell her how you feel when you saw her today?”
“No. We talked a bit, but Wes showed up pretty quickly after we started talking, and telling someone that you still have feelings for them after running out on them five years ago isn’t something you can just blurt out.”
I sigh. If I had been better prepared to face her, maybe I would’ve had a speech planned out to tell her exactly how I feel. I wish I had known the situation before walking into it. “How could you not have told me about London and Wes?”
Mom frowns and her blue eyes appear sad. “You would get angry with me and cut our call short any time I even mentioned her name. There was no way I could ever even entertain the idea of telling you that they got married, especially over the phone. I was afraid it would drive you even further away. I know you were dealing with a lot. Dad . . .” She trails off, and I can tell it’s still pretty tough for her to talk about him. “Him dying, that was so unexpected. We all had to deal with it in our own way, and I just knew you weren’t in the right frame of mind to handle any more heartbreaking news, so I kept it from you. I apologize for that. I just did what I thought was best for you. Please don’t be upset with me. I can’t take losing you over this.”
I still have a hard time dealing with the loss of Dad myself, but keeping in contact with Mom and paying tribute to him through the love of music we shared helped me to heal. I’m still not over Dad’s death, but I can at least hear his name and think about him without falling completely apart.
She’s right. As much as I hate to admit it, she’s right. If I had found out that London and Wes had gotten married, there would be no way in hell I would’ve even considered coming back here. The thought of the two of them together, touching, kissing, and having sex . . . Goddamn, that one stings like fire. To know that he’s held her in his arms and made love to her . . . the thought alone is almost more than I can take.
I am such a fucking idiot. How could I have done this? Driven a wedge between us like this? Running away caused all this, and the only way I can make things better between me and my family is to make sure that I don’t disappear again.
“I’m not going anywhere.” I reach over and squeeze Mom’s hand to reassure her a bit.
The moment London opened the door and my eyes fell upon her, my heart stopped beating for a moment. I knew without a shadow of a doubt that I was still in love with this woman. Seeing her in person reignited every ounce of love I ever had for her.
As if Mom is reading my thoughts, she says, “If you still feel something for her, you must tell her. The girl has been miserable without you, and if she doesn’t get some type of closure with you, I’m not sure if she’ll ever be able to truly move on.”
I take in her words, and I know deep down that she’s right. London needs to know how I feel. I need to at least attempt to right the wrongs I’ve caused and give London the closure that she needs from me if being with Wes is what truly makes her happy now. It will kill me knowing she’s with my brother, but Wes and London deserve to be happy.
THEN
LONDON
Sam waves the bag of doughnuts around in my face. “You know you want one.”
I groan and pull the covers back over my face. “Go away with your evil, fatty goodness.”
“No way. Don’t even try that. You, missy, are all skin and bones. A doughnut or ten will not kill you. Now, sit your pretty ass up and eat.”
I hate when she gets like this, but it’s also what makes me love her even more. She’s persistent and pushy in the best kind of loving way, and there’s no getting out of whatever it is that she’s asking of you when she’s in full-on mother hen mode.
“Don’t make me call Wes over here,” Sam threatens. “Seems like he’s the only one who can convince you to do anything lately, which is odd, considering that his brother is the reason you live like a hermit.”
I sit up and grab the bag. “Please don’t call him. I don’t think I can take him right now.”
“Lovers’ quarrel?” Sam teases, and I roll my eyes.
“It’s not like that between us. You know that. He’s just been my rock over the past few years since Jared left.”
“I’ll bet he has. You would think since you were his brother’s fiancée that you’d be off limits to him, but the boy doesn’t seem to respect that boundary at all. He’s got it bad for you.”
I shake my head. “No, he doesn’t.”
