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He rakes his hand through his hair. “Does Wes know?”
I shake my head. “No, and I know as soon as he finds out, he’s going to push even harder for us to be together.”
“And you don’t want that?”
“No,” I whisper.
He licks his lips. “Then what do you want?”
You! I want to scream out, but I know deep down that I can’t do that. It wouldn’t be right to do this to Wes. Even though Wes doesn’t own my heart, I know this baby will, and I’ll do whatever it takes to make him or her happy. “What I want is what’s best for this baby, and it’s going to need its father.”
He sighs and then brushes a strand of my dark hair off my cheek. “London . . .” He trails off, and I can tell there’s so much that he wants to say, but he stops himself. “I know how much a father means to a little kid.” He closes his eyes, and his Adam’s apple bobs when he swallows hard before he opens them again and stares into my eyes. He furrows his brow, and I can tell he’s doing his best to hide just how crushed he is by my decision. My heart aches for him, and more than anything, I wish I didn’t have to tell Jared good-bye. “As much as it hurts, I understand your choice. I love you and I love my brother. If you two want to work things out, then I’ll step back. I won’t stand in the way. I’ll leave again, but I want you to know that I’ll miss you every damn day for the rest of my life.”
“This kills me. I don’t want to end things like this,” I tell him as my heart crumbles in my chest. “I’ve always loved you.”
“But you love him too. I know you do or you wouldn’t have married him. He was there for you when I wasn’t.” Tears run down Jared’s cheeks. “Go tell him. You’ll feel a lot better once everything is out in the open.”
I nod, knowing that he’s right. It was not good of me to tell Jared about the baby before Wes even had a chance to know. I need to tell him. “I should probably go find him.”
Jared pulls me against him without apology and wraps his arms around me. “I love you, London. Forever.”
“I love you so much.” I cling to him, knowing this is probably the last time I’ll ever feel his arms wrapped around me. “I don’t want to let you go.”
He cups my face and then swallows hard. “Sometimes the thing you love the most in this world is the one thing that you’re destined to lose. I’ve come to learn in real life there are no happily ever afters.” Jared’s lips twist before he leans in and kisses my forehead.
I close my eyes and allow the tears I can no longer fight back to flow down my cheeks. I’ve been waiting for so long to have my Jared back—to feel his arms wrapped around me—and now that I finally have what I want, I have to set him free.
I pull away and dart out of the house, unable to stay with him one moment longer, because I know that if I stay locked in his embrace I’ll talk myself out of doing the right thing and being with Wes.
A sob tears out of me as I run down the sidewalk and find the safety of my car. I lay my head on the steering wheel and allow myself to grieve the loss of the man I love, because I know this time it’s really over.
After I’ve cried out every last tear, I pull out my cell phone and dial Wes’s work number.
“Hey. It’s me,” I say after Wes answers. “I’m calling to ask if you would come over to the house for dinner tonight.”
“Really? That would be amazing.” The excitement in his voice is clear, and I can tell he’s hopeful about what this invitation means. “What time?”
I force a smile on my face so that my voice doesn’t sound sad. “Let’s say six?”
“Sounds great. I’ll see you then. I love you, London,” he says.
“Love you too.” I force the words out, and my heart sinks because it isn’t ready for me to try and force it to love Wes.
This is the right thing to do. Wes is the father of my baby. He deserves a shot to be there for every moment in the child’s life.
Later that day, I put on a blue sundress that Wes always compliments, saying how beautiful I look when I wear it, and then busy myself with making dinner while I wait on Wes to show up. I keep rehearsing how I’m going to break the news to him, but nothing I come up with ever sounds right. I guess there’s not going to be any easy way to tell him any of this.
Wes doesn’t even bother using the doorbell tonight. Instead he uses his house key to let himself inside. “London?”
I dry my hands off on a dish towel after washing off a tomato for the salad. “In here.”
Wes walks in with his jacket in his hand while he loosens his tie. “Something smells good.”
“I made homemade chicken and noodles,” I tell him, knowing that’s one of his favorites.
“Really? Wow. That’s awesome. What’s the special occasion? You usually only make those on holidays or my birthday. What’s up?”
He’s already suspicious. If I tell him now, we’ll most likely end up in a fight and he won’t eat, and I don’t want to do that to him. “Sit. Let’s eat.”
