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“Ma, how many times are we going to fight about this? That money is to take care of anything you need.” I follow her into the kitchen, where I’m greeted with the smell of her famous pot roast and my stomach rumbles.
“Baby, you should be saving your money instead of giving it away.”
“I’m not giving it away. I want to make sure you’re taken care of. If Dad were here, he would have no problem letting me do this for you.”
“If your Dad was here, he would’ve whooped your butt for running off like you did in the first place.”
“I highly doubt that,” I tell her. “He made me promise him that I would get out of this town as soon as I could and go after my music dream.”
“He might’ve done that because he wanted to see you go experience more than we ever did, but he never meant for you to avoid where you come from. He didn’t want you to avoid this place either. Not seeing your mother in three years is a travesty.”
I sigh and rub my forehead. My mother is a stubborn woman and when she’s made up her mind that things should be a certain way, that’s how it is. There’s no changing her view. Like now. I know she’s upset with me for not visiting in all this time, but I was too afraid to come back here and face Avery. I wasn’t ready to face the guilt and shame. It took me a year’s worth of therapy to realize that if I didn’t come back here and deal with my past, I could never really move on.
I offered to fly Mom out to see me while Wicked White was on tour, or even when we spent some downtime at our homes in California, but she always rejected the idea. Mom’s fear of flying limits a lot of things for her, visiting her only child being a crucial one.
I know the only way to make her happy is to promise to change all that. “I get where you’re coming from, Ma. From now on, I’ll make sure I come out and see you way more often. How’s that sound?”
Mom smiles. “That sounds like a good plan to me.” She takes the lid off the crock pot and stirs the roast beef around a bit. “Hope you’re hungry. I haven’t c
ooked this much in a long time.”
“Starving.” I laugh and hug her and kiss the top of her head. “Let’s eat.”
I spend the rest of the afternoon with Ma, telling her all about my adventures on the road and about the process in the studio when we cut albums. She listens like it’s the most fascinating stuff in the world.
I’ve missed spending time with her, and she’s right, I need to make sure I see her more often.
When I glance down at my phone, I notice two things. One, that it’s nearly five thirty so I should head on over to Avery’s place to have dinner with her and Granny, and two, that Blake still hasn’t returned my call, which is unlike him.
I push myself up from the comfy couch in the living room. “I need to take off. I’m going to go have dinner with an old friend while I’m in town.”
A knowing smile fills her face. “Would this be the same mysterious someone you used to see a lot before you left?”
I laugh, amazed at her memory. “I can’t believe you remember that.”
“Honey, I’m your mother. I remember everything about you.” She hugs me one more time. “Be careful out there. This town has gone to shit in the last few years. The crime rate—well, let’s just say nothing’s safe around here anymore.”
Her locked door springs to mind. “Is that why you were barricaded in here earlier?”
She nods. “I’m a single woman, living in the country alone. Can’t be too careful nowadays. Be safe.”
“Always am,” I tell her as I head out the front door and to the car.
It doesn’t take long for me to make it to Avery’s driveway. My fingers curl around the steering wheel and I grip it tight to try to ignore the awful memories of the last time I was here. I turn down the driveway, and soon the house comes into view, only this time it’s twice the size I remember it being and it practically looks brand-new. I’m guessing after the fire, this place was a total gut job. The house is wrapped in new white siding while new windows add to the curb appeal. When my eyes slide over, just right of the house where the barn used to be, I’m relieved to see only a patch of grass where it once stood.
I park next to the house, beside the Mercedes. The car reminds me of Avery’s father, and I have doubts about being able to handle going inside the house where he used to live.
It hurts to know that I was so self-centered that I didn’t stick around to be there for Avery when things got tough for her—for the times when she needed me the most. I wasn’t strong enough to be there for her then, but I’m praying that all the soul-searching I’ve done since I left will help me find the strength to be here for her now, for as much as she will let me.
Avery opens the screen door and she pokes her head outside and waves me in, so I know sitting in this car and debating if I can make it through this dinner is out.
I hop out of the car and grab the bouquet of flowers I picked up on the way over for Avery’s grandmother as a thank-you for the dinner she’s fixing tonight. I won’t know what to do when I go back onto the road after having all these home-cooked meals. I won’t be able to stomach fast food again for a while.
I make it to the top of the third step on the porch and Avery greets me by holding open the screen door while wearing a smile. “You made it.”
Her relieved tone sets me at ease. Maybe just like last night, this dinner will be easier to get through than I anticipate. The only thing that will cause me to lose my shit right now is a lot of talk about her dad.
I step inside and the place is almost as I remember, only with hardwood floors throughout the house and more modern furniture. “Wow. It really looks nice in here.”
