“Come on. You’re twenty-seven years old, living in your hometown, taking care of someone else’s children. That’s not a life— that’s a placeholder.” Jessica’s tone is gentle, but it doesn’t make the words sting less. “What happens when this guy decides to hire a permanent nanny? Or when he meets someone he actually wants to be with long-term? You’ll be right back where you started, except you’ve wasted months —or years— being the help.”
What the hell? I’m not the help. We have something… special. My heart clips along faster.
“Jessica—”
“I’m just saying, you had so many plans. Remember? You were going to teach in a big city, travel on your summers off, get your master’s degree and move into administration. Now you’re... what? Making breakfasts and doing laundry for someone else’s kids?”
My hands tighten around my cup. “It’s not ‘just’ anything. I’m helping a family. And I love those girls.”
“I’m sure you do. But they’re notyourgirls, are they?” Jessica checks her phone, oblivious to the way her words are carving into me. “Look, I have to run, but seriously— think aboutwhat you’re doing. You’re way too smart to be someone’s nanny forever. Or at least you were.”
She leaves, and I sit there staring at my half-finished latte, her words echoing in my head.
Not your family.
Putting your life on hold.
Someone’s nanny.
Too smart…
But she’s wrong. Right?
Ava and Mia love me. I’m not just the help. And Jonah and I have been connecting. But is it just sex? Is it more? I’m so confused.
And maybe there’s a grain of truth buried in Jessica’s judgment, and it burrows under my skin like a splinter.
I’mnottheir mother. I’mnotJonah’s wife. I have no legal claim to any of them, no real security beyond Jonah’s word that I can stay.
And what if that changes?
My phone buzzes. An email notification.
I almost don’t open it, but something makes me click.
Subject: Re: Teaching Position Application - Missoula School District
My heart jumps. I applied for this position three weeks ago— fourth grade, good salary, benefits. It would mean leaving Valentine, leaving Jonah and the twins, but I told myself it was just a backup plan. Just in case.
I open the email.
Dear Ms. Reeves,
Thank you for your interest in the fourth-grade teaching position at Roosevelt Elementary. After careful consideration, we have decided to move forward with other candidates whose qualifications more closely match our current needs...
I don’t read the rest.
I set my phone down, face-up on the table, and stare at the rejection.
Another rejection. I should be used to them. And I have the substitute position at Valentine Elementary. And there’s the possibility of a permanent job in the fall.
But possibility isn’t certainty.
Jessica’s voice echoes in my head:You’re putting your life on hold.
No. No, I’m not. I’m building a life here. I have… What?
Except I haven’t even told Jonah I’m still applying to other schools. Haven’t mentioned that part of me is still keeping one foot out the door, just in case.
