Just in case what? In case he changes his mind? In case this falls apart?
I gather my things and leave the coffee shop, driving home on autopilot. Home.
When did I start thinking of the Westerland house as home?
The realization makes my chest tight.
Carol’s car is in the driveway when I pull up— she must be watching the twins while Jonah finishes at the bakery. I sit in my car for a moment, trying to compose myself, trying to shake off Jessica’s words and the rejection email and the growing sense of unease in my gut.
Then I hear it. Through my closed car window, I hear Ava’s voice, high and excited: “Chloe’s here! Chloe’s here!”
The front door bursts open, and both twins come running down the driveway in their socks, no coats, Carol chasing after them with jackets in her hands.
“Girls, it’s freezing! You can’t—” Carol calls, but they’re already at my car door.
I get out, and Ava crashes into me, wrapping her arms around my waist.
“You’re home!” she says. “We made you a picture at school today. It’s on the fridge. Come see!”
Mia grabs my hand, tugging. “And Daddy said we can make cookies if you help us. Can we? Please?”
I look down at their faces, so open, so trusting, so full of love, and something in my chest cracks.
Not your family,Jessica said.
But they feel like my family. They feel like mine.
And maybe that’s the problem. I’ve fallen for all of them. I’ve opened myself quickly and without thought.
What happens if Jonah wakes up one day and realizes I’m not what he wants long-term? What happens if the twins’ mother comes back and wants to be involved? What happens if I’m just a temporary placeholder until he finds someone better, someone who fits more easily into his life?
“Chloe?” Ava’s looking up at me with concern. “Are you sad?”
“No, sweetheart.” I force a smile, crouching down to hug them both. “I’m happy. I’m always happy when I come home to you.”
Carol catches my eye over their heads, and there’s understanding there. Like she can see right through me.
“Girls, go inside and wash your hands,” she says gently. “I’ll help you get the cookie ingredients out.”
They run back inside, and Carol walks over to me, her expression soft.
“Want to talk about it?” she asks.
“About what?”
“Whatever’s making you look like you’re about to run.” She touches my arm. “Chloe, honey, I’ve seen that look before. On Jonah’s face, right before Rachel left. That ‘I don’t deserve this’ look.”
“I’m not leaving,” I say automatically.
“But you’re thinking about it.” It’s not a question. “Or at least, you’re wondering if you should be. My Jonah, he loves you, Chloe.”
I still.
I look away, blinking back tears. “I ran into someone today. An old friend. She made me realize how... precarious this all is. I’m not the girls’ mother. I’m definitely not Jonah’s wife. I’m just?—”
“You’re just the woman my son loves,” Carol interrupts firmly. “The woman his daughters adore. The woman who makes this family complete.” She steps closer. “But you’re cautious, maybe scared. I get it. Jonah was scared too, for a long time. Still is, some days.”
“What if it’s not enough?” The words come out small, broken. “What if I’m not enough?”
