Tears spring to my eyes at “daughter of my heart.” “Okay.”
“You’re not Derek.”
The words catch me completely off guard. “What?”
“Your ex-boyfriend. The one who got engaged three months after you broke up. The one who made you feel like you weren’t enough.” Carol’s voice is knowing. “Jonah told me about him. About how he hurt you.”
“Derek has nothing to do with this?—”
“Doesn’t he? You’re running from Jonah because you’re terrified he’s going to do what Derek did. You’re protecting yourself from being left again.”
I press my hand against my mouth, trying to hold back a sob.
“But Chloe, honey, Jonah is not Derek. Derek was a boy who didn’t know what he wanted. Jonah is a man who knows exactly what he wants— you. He wants you so much it terrifies him. Because he’s been hurt too, remember? Rachel left him with two babies and a broken heart.”
“I know that?—”
“Then you know he understands your fear better than anyone. But he chose to trust you anyway. He gave you everything —his heart, his home, his daughters— because hebelieved you were worth the risk.” Carol pauses. “But you couldn’t do the same for him, could you?”
The truth of it cuts deep. “I’m scared, Carol. What if?—”
“What if you spend the rest of your life running from the best thing that ever happened to you because you’re too afraid to get hurt?” Carol’s voice is firm now. “What if you wake up in twenty years, alone, and realize you had everything you ever wanted, but you threw it away because you were scared?”
I’m crying openly now, my breath coming in gasps. “I don’t know how to stop being scared.”
“You don’t stop being scared, sweetheart. You just decide that love is worth being scared for.” Carol softens. “When I married Jonah’s father, I was terrified. My mother told me I was too young, that I should see the world first, that I’d regret tying myself down. You know what I told her?”
“What?”
“I told her that I’d rather have fifty years with the man I love than a lifetime of perfect safety with someone who didn’t make my heart race.” I hear the smile in her voice. “We’ve been married thirty-five years. And yes, it’s been hard sometimes. Scary sometimes. But I’ve never, not once, regretted choosing him.”
“But what if Jonah changes his mind about me?”
“What if he doesn’t? What if you have a beautiful life together? What if those girls grow up calling you Mom? What if you have more babies, and family dinners, open more bakeries, and fifty years of waking up next to the man you love?” Carol’s voice cracks. “What if you’re throwing away your happy ending because you’re too scared to reach for it?”
I lean my head against the steering wheel, sobbing. “I’ve already ruined it. He told me to leave.”
“He told you to choose. There’s a difference.” Carol is quiet for a moment. “That job in Billings— do you want it?”
“Not at all.”
“The apartment you’re about to sign a lease for— do you want it?”
“No.” Not one square foot.
“Then what do you want, Chloe?”
The answer comes immediately, from the deepest part of my heart. “I want Jonah. I want Ava and Mia. I want our life in Valentine. I want to wake up in his arms and make bread at five a.m and read bedtime stories and be a family.”
“Then stop being scared and go get it. It’s yours for the taking, sweetheart.”
“What if he won’t take me back? What if I hurt him too badly?”
“Then you fight for him. The way he’s been fighting for you all along.” Carol’s voice is gentle but insistent. “Love isn’t about guarantees, Chloe. It’s about choosing someone even when it’s scary. Even when you don’t know how it ends. It’s about trusting that they’re choosing you back.”
“I’m so afraid.”
“I know, honey. But you know what’s scarier than getting hurt? Never knowing what could have been. Never taking the chance.” She pauses. “You love my son, don’t you?”
