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“I was, just a moment ago. I don’t know why—”
Dakota raises her hand into the air. “I don’t get it. How can you not?”
Her eyes move to my cock, soft and hanging, and I feel about two inches tall.
“I’m sorry. I don’t know what the hell is wrong with me.” I move my hand quickly and run it through my hair, some part of me hoping she’ll follow its arc and stop looking down there. “Maybe we can try something else?”
Dakota nods. But she doesn’t look anything like she did a few moments ago. Her eyes no longer look like a wild animal ready to devour me. She looks confused and embarrassed, and I hope she doesn’t think this has anything to do with her or how she looks.
She’s so beautiful, so sexy, and any man would be stupid not to think so. I don’t know what the hell is wrong with me right now, but I do know it’s not her fault.
“No . . . let’s try this,” she says, and shifts, then lowers her body so her mouth is level with my cock.
She takes me in her mouth and I try to focus only on its warmth, the way her tongue feels tracing the head of my cock. The way I want this, really, really want this.
Still, nothing happens.
She stops after a few seconds and pulls back. Her face is stone as she looks at me, then away quickly.
“I’m so sorry,” I explain. “I don’t know what the hell is wrong with me, but this is in no way your fault or anything to do with how I feel about you.”
Dakota looks away, and I can feel her shutting down inside.
“I can . . .” I don’t know how to word what I’m trying to say. “I can finish you, you know, with my mouth?” I offer.
She whips her head around, and the look she shoots me is one with a sharp end. She’s clearly not into that idea at all.
“I really am sorry,” I say again.
“Just stop talking. Please.” She stands up and gathers her clothing.
I know better than to follow her when she walks down the hallway and into the bathroom.
When the door slams, I think I can feel it reverberate through me, but I stay put.
I feel like an asshole and I am at a huge loss about how to fix this. I have no clue how to handle something like this, and I know Dakota enough to know that when she’s shut down, she’s shut down. That’s it. I’ve embarrassed her and I didn’t mean to. I would never, ever mean to.
I grab my pants from the floor and pull them on.
I can’t believe after all this time thinking and fantasizing about her, I couldn’t even get hard when it came time.
I look down at my uncooperative dick. “Way to go.”
I try to think . . . Think, Landon!
I glare at the cats in hats on the wall lining the hallway, hoping they can help. The odd pictures offer no advice. Go figure.
I stand outside the bathroom door and try to think of something to say, some way to apologize that will make her understand how sorry I am for making her feel like she isn’t enough for me.
She’s more than enough, she’s everything I’ve ever wanted.
She’s the only person I’ve ever been with.
She was my first love, my only love.
