“I’ll have you know, that night was one of the last times I felt well rested. There's just something about waking up with sand caked to your skin and no recollection of how you ended up on the beach in the first place that's really fucking liberating.”
A small smile formed on my lips. The memory brought back a whole array of moments from last year's festival, and I sparked ateenybit of excitement for the day. At the very least, I didn't need to worry until the evening. I wasn't sure of the exact time I was born, but I knew it wasn't during daylight, which meant that the hours leading up to the meteor shower could be spent carefree.
“Fine. But I’m not dressing up and I’m not drinkinganything other than wine,” I informed her, my face all too serious as I pointed a finger in her direction.
“Deal. Now get up.”
Delani squeezed me into an awkward, horizontal hug, then rose from my mattress. She tore the quilt clean from my bed prior to leaving my room, just because she could.
As soon as the door clicked shut, the familiar feeling of anxiety came rushing back in. I forced myself to a sitting position, my hands gripping the edge of my mattress as I worked through the panic.
This feeling was all too normal for me. Usually when I felt this way, I would write in my journal. It may have been excessive, but I wrote down pretty much every detail of my life, ranging from the pleasures to the troubles. I had stacks of filled notebooks tucked away in my closet. Putting my thoughts down on paper helped to relieve the weight of them. Writing lessened the burden of life.
Unfortunately, there was no time for scribing. So I raked my fingers through the tangles of my hair, swiftly tying it into a loose braid that landed in the center of my back when completed. Reaching my arms over my head, I stretched before forcing myself to my feet.
I wondered if being gifted was actually as bad as I’d expected it to be. I wasn’t keen on the idea of the next stage of my life being pre-planned for me, but surely Caelestis Academy wasn’t as horrific as I imagined. After graduation, it was required that all soldiers lived on the castle grounds, stationed close-by in case they were called upon for service. But despite that, I would still be able to have a family if I wanted to—could still fall in love. As long as I stayed alive, it really wouldn’t be so bad.
Right?
I had become good at using logic to talk myself out of things. Though the tactics the gods used to decide who they deemed worthy were unknown, Iknewthat the odds of mebeing gifted were slim—that I was not deserving of such a blessing. Regardless of the logic, I couldn't shake the feeling that I still might be.
Swallowing the fear that threatened to tear me in half, I walked straight to my wardrobe and rummaged through the drawers. I slid a blouse over my head and wiggled my hips into my favorite pants, then stepped into a pair of boots to finish my outfit.
On the opposing wall hung my mirror, slightly crooked from the ripples of the wood. With a sharp inhale, I held my breath and stepped in front of it. My reflection tilted to the side while I studied the structure of my own face, noting the fullness of my cheeks that rounded out as I faked a smile.
“It's going to be fine,” I assured myself, tucking a stray piece of hair behind my ear.
I released the breath I’d been holding, pushing the air through the barrier of my gritted teeth and kissing my anxiety away as I strode for the door.
Chapter
Two
Ifound myself regretting my outfit choice as soon as we arrived at the festival early that evening. Having put much more effort into their garments than I had, Delani and my mother looked as though they belonged at such a prestigious event. I, on the other hand, would have benefited from staying home.
I paused to take in the intricate design of the castle's architecture. The details of the pale stonework never failed to amaze me, no matter how many times I’d seen it. The fortress was genuinely breathtaking, its size incomprehensible. Pointed iron bars surrounded the main gate, standing high to prevent anyone from climbing over the fence. On top of the staircase that led to the main entryway, a few soldiers stood properly by the oak double doors. I didn't dare make eye contact with them—one glimpse of their drawn swords was enough to prevent me from doing so.
The grounds looked a little bit different each time I came to the castle, with a new array of flowers and shrubs for each season. To my left was the cliffside, lined by a cobblestone pathway that I knew would take me to the academy dormitories if I were to follow it.
In my opinion, the only benefit to attending the academy was living at the dormitories, which were stationed just feet away from a beautiful beach. I learned that information the hard way one year when I was younger. Delani and I had ventured off, only to be dragged back to the courtyard by a burly, female soldier.
Delani cleared her throat and then brushed by the soldiers, crossing the balcony to enter the party. She looked remarkable as she strutted into the event with poise. The silk of her sage gown flowed just past her knees, swaying with the motion of her hips. Her hair was pulled back into a tight bun, and though a few stray coils framed her face, the messiness of the hairstyle still made her appear put together.
I couldn’t help but notice how a few wandering eyes followed her across the balcony.
The festivities always began in the courtyard, and this year was no different. We were greeted by the most elaborate decorations when we stepped onto the patio. I gazed in all directions, in complete awe of the presentation which somehow outdid the previous years.
Strings of twinkling lights hung from the trees surrounding the perimeter of the courtyard. The bulbs sparkled under the dimming sun as it phased into moonlight. The glimmer combined with the greenery, creating a tent-like framework for the party to occur in. Connecting the tops of the trees were rows of delicate white and pink flowers. The buds dangled from invisible strings, creating a partially transparent net that cascaded over the entirety of the courtyard. The flowers dribbled down, adding to the ambiance of the event as they spun in midair.
To the far right of the courtyard was a secluded area separated by hedges, which held within their bounds a statue of each god and goddess. The masonry was absolutely magnificent on its own, but better yet, each god was built from a large slab of the gemstone they represented. The figurines werespectacular to look at on any given day, but for the festival, they were garnished with exquisite displays of flowers and cloth.
Aside from the jaw-dropping decor, there was an irrational amount of food and wine almost everywhere I turned. Music played loudly throughout the courtyard and a smile broke through my lips at the sight of people waltzing together, chanting the melodies.
My admiration was ruined by my mother’s abrupt notice of departure. “I have to go find Isobel Fletcher.” Her voice broke through the tunes.
She took my hand in hers and I admired her beauty—so natural and elegant without even trying. Her forest green dress frilled out at the bottom, the color highlighting her fair skin while also emphasizing the dark curls of her hair. She looked nothing like Delani and I, and we often questioned while growing up if she was even our real mother. She always just laughed the idea off, telling us that we had overactive imaginations.
“I have something to discuss with her regarding the archives,” she continued, taking Delani’s fingertips in her free hand.
