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Then I would let myself feel. I would let the numbness go and allow the other four stages free rein all they wanted.
Until then, I would let it build up.
If I exploded, I was prepared to face the consequences of what happened.
Lyric clenched his hands into fists. “Okay,” he muttered when I didn’t say anything else. “Just… If it gets to be too much, promise you’ll talk to me. Or Shaw. Anyone. I’m worried about you, Vi.”
I touched his arm. “I’ll be fine,” I promised, but in my heart, I wasn’t a hundred percent sure I believed myself.
Chapter 24
Violet
Every year, my extended family took turns hosting Thanksgiving dinner. This year, it was Mom’s turn, and I always helped her cook. Aunt Dallas and Shaw came over to help us do all the desserts the night before, and then a few of my aunts would bring random sides as well as drinks.
I was so busy that evening, I didn’t have time to think about what was coming the next day. Cannon wasn’t home from military school because he’d gotten in trouble, and his punishment was to clean every bathroom on campus over the week-long break. Not that I felt sorry for the asshole. I wasn’t in a forgiving mood, and I didn’t want to hear his apologies again.
According to Shaw, he was lucky to still be breathing because after I’d had to get stitches, his mom had flown to Texas where his military boarding school was and had a long “talk” with
her son. I didn’t imagine she had actually put her hands on him; she wouldn’t physically abuse her child. But she had a wickedly sharp tongue that could bring even the thickest-skinned person to tears.
I knew from Lyric that Luca wasn’t flying out until Thanksgiving morning then going back that night, but he hadn’t told me why. The plan had always been for him to fly in on Sunday and fly back out Thursday evening so he could be back in time for the Iron Bowl. Still, I was all too grateful to have a reprieve from seeing him.
Although, seeing him for the first time since he’d shattered me, while our entire family witnessed it, wasn’t exactly something I was looking forward to.
By noon, our house was filling up. Lyric had come with his parents, but Luca still hadn’t gotten in. Aunt Layla said he was going to come straight there from the airport, but she seemed agitated about something, as if she were waiting for a bomb to go off.
With every ring of the doorbell, I became more and more tense.
“Relax,” Shaw murmured beside me in the kitchen where we were buttering the rolls before putting them in the oven. Dinner would be ready shortly, and Lyric said he’d just gotten a text from his brother saying Luca would be there soon.
“I can’t,” I whispered. I felt sick to my stomach just thinking about having to sit through a meal with Luca at the same table, pretending like I was okay until we could talk.
I’d been fine for weeks. Had made it through the twins’ birthday with no issues. I’d even dropped by Lyric’s dorm and given him the birthday present I’d bought for him weeks before the breakup. Luca had tried calling me thousands of times, but I kept my phone on silent so the constant ringing didn’t drive me crazy. For whatever reason that I didn’t want to examine too closely, I hadn’t blocked his number even though I knew I should have.
Then I’d woken up that morning, and my emotions had been close to the surface for the first time in forever. I’d been fighting not to cry, to stay calm so I didn’t do what Lyric was so worried I would and explode in front of my entire family like a lunatic.
If I unleashed everything I was feeling on the world, I wasn’t sure I would survive it.
“Vi.”
I lifted my head slowly, and I found Lyric standing in the doorway. The look on his face made my stomach bottom out. “Yeah?”
“He’s here.”
Two words. That was all it took, and my heart started jackhammering in my chest. My palms started to sweat, and I could feel the anger—the rage—begin to make my blood boil.
I looked down at the diamond eternity promise ring on my finger. I hadn’t taken it off, not once. Hadn’t even thought about it. But now, it felt like it weighed down my entire hand, and I pulled it free.
“Okay,” I murmured, clenching my fingers into a fist around the ring.
Aunt Lana walked into the kitchen behind Lyric, a grin on her face. “Violet, your boy is here. You need to get out there.” She walked over to Shaw and me nudged me with her hip so she could take my place. “Go. I’ll help Shaw finish this up.”
“Um, yeah. Thanks.” I wiped my hands on a dish towel and followed Lyric out of the room.
“Something’s going on,” Lyric muttered as soon as the door closed behind us. “Mom’s not acting like herself, and Dad is all kinds of tense. Aunt Emmie has spent the last hour whispering to him about something, and neither one of them is approachable. I don’t know what’s happening, but I have a bad feeling.”
“Do you think they…know?” I whispered.
