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For me, it was admitting I was half in love with Shaw. That I wanted her more than I wanted air, but because I knew I would lose my best friend if I even tried to tell her what I was feeling, I kept quiet.
When we’
d started noticing girls, we’d made a pact. No girl would ever come between us. If we saw one we both wanted, neither of us could touch her. And under no circumstances could we touch the other’s sister. Seeing as Mia was older than us and barely paid us any attention when Cannon was around anyway, I didn’t really think it was an issue where my own sister was concerned. And Shaw was always following us around, getting just as dirty as we did and causing just as much—if not more—trouble than we could.
I saw her as nothing more than another sister.
Until she wasn’t.
I knew she was beautiful; a person would have to be dead not to know just how gorgeous Shaw Cage was. Inside and out. She had this hard outer shell that was all feral lioness, but underneath, she was a sweet and kind little kitten.
A kitten I really—fucking desperately—wanted to pet.
But it wasn’t until a year or so before that I’d realized her beauty could stop me in my tracks, cause the air to get trapped in my throat, make me get tongue-tied, and go completely brain-dead. She’d only been fifteen to my seventeen and playing in my pool back in Malibu. Her best friend Violet and the Thornton twins splashed around as I came out of the house with a drink in my hand and Cannon right beside me.
He’d been saying something to me, and I’d glanced at the pool just as Shaw called my name. I’d looked down, and she’d grinned up at me, causing those damn dimples to pop. Her thick lashes were damp, making her blue eyes glitter. Dressed in a conservative bikini top that covered her chest, she wiggled her fingers, wanting me to pull her out of the water.
I felt something shift in my chest, and my cock was ready to go off at the slightest touch, something that had never happened to me, not even when I first became sexually active. I left her brother still talking on the deck as I jogged over to her and lifted her out of the pool. She’d been soaking wet and I still had my shirt on over my swim trunks, but I pulled her against me so hard, she couldn’t miss the fact that I was already pulsing for her. All she would have had to do was stroke a single fingertip down my shaft, and I would have erupted all over her sweet body.
I heard her soft gasp and shivered as her glittering eyes filled with heat.
If Cannon hadn’t pushed me into the pool then and there, I wasn’t sure what I would have done. Instinct had been screaming at me to kiss her, to let the world know this girl was mine and I would fucking destroy anyone who so much as thought about touching her.
But as the cool water enveloped my head and I came up for air, seeing the pissed-off look on Cannon’s face, I knew I couldn’t make Shaw mine.
If I took what I wanted, it would mean giving up Cannon.
And as much as I wanted his sister, I wasn’t willing to ruin our friendship.
We weren’t just best friends. He was my brother, my partner in crime. No girl, not even one who held a piece of my heart, could tear us apart. I wouldn’t allow it.
Picking up my shirt off the floor by the TV, I pulled it over my head as I left the bedroom.
As I turned for the stairs, my gaze fell on Shaw’s closed door, causing my cock to flex in my shorts and my heart to sit a little heavier in my chest. As I walked past it, I stroked my fingers over the door, wishing it were her skin I was touching.
Downstairs, I went straight to the kitchen in search of food. I was so comfortable at the Cage house, it was like a second home to me. I knew where everything was—and even where Aunt Dallas hid the good snacks so Cannon wouldn’t eat them all in one day. Shaw had shown me the secret stash when she was ten, making me promise never to tell her brother.
Grabbing a mixing bowl out of one of the cabinets, I poured myself a huge portion of cereal before grabbing a spoon. The sun was reflecting off the ocean outside, and I walked out onto the deck to soak up the rays as I ate my breakfast.
While I stood there, I saw Mason run down the beach with Oscar at his side. Spotting me, he lifted his arm and waved, and I tossed up my hand to wave to my younger cousin.
“Got a big enough bowl?”
I turned at the sound of Uncle Axton’s voice. Taking another bite of my cereal, I shrugged. “This was as big as I could find. Maybe your wife should invest in some larger bowls.”
Snorting, he dropped down in one of the chairs beside where I was standing. “I’ll be sure to mention that. You call your mom?” He pulled his phone out of his pocket and started texting away. “She’s been blowing up my phone this morning, wanting to know if you’re still alive and shit. I snapped a few pictures of you and Can snoring your asses off, and she calmed down.”
“As soon as I opened my eyes, I texted her,” I assured him.
“You got plans today?” he asked when he put the phone down on his thigh a few moments later. “Going to a party? Got a date?”
“Nah.” I shoveled the last of my cereal into my mouth. After chewing and swallowing, I set the empty bowl on the rail and leaned back, crossing my arms as I tipped my head upand enjoyed the heat of the sun. “I haven’t dated in…” I frowned and opened my eyes. “Damn, I really don’t know when the last time I had a date was.”
No, that was a lie. I remembered. Because it had been the night before I realized I wanted Shaw. Since then, I hadn’t found anyone I wanted enough to take out. I’d gone to parties, flirted, but I hadn’t even gotten anyone’s number, let alone a kiss. It just felt…wrong. Like giving another girl even a little bit of my time would hurt Shaw. And the thought of Shaw hurting always made me my skin feel too tight.
Uncle Axton’s brows lifted at my answer. “You’re a sad excuse for a rocker, boy,” he muttered. “When I was your age—”
He broke off just as the door slid back and his wife stepped outside with a glass of sweet tea in her hand. He pressed his lips together, but she gave him a dry look. “No, please. Tell us exactly what you were doing at his age.”
