Also, as far as I can tell, he never apologizes.
But it’s from Riley.
Riley: Ruben. Croque Madame. Bánh mì.
Evie: Slightly random.
Riley: War of the world of sandwiches. You have to choose.
I smile. I’ve missed this goofball. But still, this fair-weather friend needs a little kick up the butt.
Evie: Sure. It’s not like anything else is happening in my life. As far as you know, I might’ve been mauled by a pack of rabid dogs and have died a terrible death.
Riley: No rabies in UK. I thought the unicorn fckd the conversation out of you bcz I hvnt heard frm u, either.
Evie: A tip? Text in whole words if you want to get laid. Not an offer, by the way.
Riley: Tetchy! Wanna swap war stories? I’m back home waiting for surgery on this leg. Gotta have external fixators fitted, like a damned Frankenstein cage.
Evie: Ouch! Also, thanks for telling me.
I guess that makes sense why he hasn’t been in contact.
Riley: I thought Lori would’ve.
Urgh!If she wasn’t such a bitch, I might not be in this predicament.
Riley: I win in the misery mistakes. A broken leg and I miss real mayonnaise. The French stuff. Miracle Whip is like pasteurized hobgoblin jizz.
Evie: Did your mommy make you a sandwich?
Riley: An inedible one. She’s driving me crazy. Can’t wait to get out of here.
Evie: I’m sorry, Riley. Let me know how the surgery goes or if there’s anything you want me to do.
Riley: Tell me which sandwich. I’m dreaming of food.
Evie: Pork belly bao from that place we went in Oxford Circus.
Riley: Nice! Hey, as you’re offering, will you do me a favor?
Evie: Shoot.
Riley: Arrange to get my stuff sent from the hotel in France?
A friend in need is a pain in the ass, even when you’re feeling sorry for him.
Evie: Send me the name of the hotel and I’ll see what I can do.
I no sooner put down my phone then it buzzes again. I blow out a frustrated breath, though I make sure not to curl my toes again. I’m expecting Riley to have added something to my shit-to-do list. But it’s Yara.
Yara: Just so I’ve got this right, Oliver is only *one* of Europe’s most eligible men.
It seems someone’s been reading theCity Chronicle.
Evie: You can’t believe everything you read in the tabloids.
Yara: I’m disappointed in you. You should’ve hung out for *the* most eligible man.
