‘Do you remember how we talked about Grandma Connie going up to heaven?’ Dylan continued, determined to keep his voice steady. Both children nodded sombrely, their smiles on pause. ‘Well, today we had the special ceremony for her.’
‘I wanted to come.’ Jacob burrowed his head into the space between Dylan’s chin and collarbone. He smelt of soapsuds and washing powder, with that overpowering kid scent emanating from his hair that every new parent wished they could bottle and treasure forever.
‘Me too.’ Ruby spoke quietly and somehow managed to slip her hands around Dylan’s neck and grip onto him like one of those animal toys she loved so much. After a visit to Central Park zoo last year, Ruby had devoured books on animals and in her Christmas stocking a few months later Santa had left her a set of cling-ons: a polar bear, rabbit, toucan, and a pig.
‘Funerals aren’t the place for you two.’ Dylan held his children close. ‘I want you to remember Grandma Connie the way she was with you, when she’d play hide and seek in the house, when you’d make home-made lemonade together after nursery and school, and the times she took you camping.’
‘She was fun,’ Ruby concluded with a serious nod. She’d always been wise beyond her years.
‘Shewasfun.’ Dylan kissed her cheek and then Jacob’s.
When the babysitter, Mackenzie, came through from the kitchen she told him how well his children had behaved while he was out. Dylan smiled at his neighbour’s daughter. Mackenzie was his first port of call when he needed extra help. His ex-wife may be beautiful, he’d admit that, but she always seemed too caught up in her own life to worry about theirs. She’d walked out on them two years ago and since then he’d been finding his feet as a stay at home dad. He’d been in the throes of a career change at the time too, leaving law behind to do something he was passionate about. But his kids had, and always would, come first. When his mom had fallen ill, Dylan moved in to take care of her and shared his time between her, Ruby and Jacob, and his fledgling web design business. The kids had settled in quickly in the house he’d grown up in, and now, with schooling all lined up, he hoped they’d never have to leave this pretty neighbourhood. Part of him sometimes wanted to. The house was a painful reminder that neither of his parents were there any more, but at the same time it was a form of comfort coming home here.
‘Well, if they’ve been good for you, Mackenzie…’ Dylan looked at each of his children in turn, ‘…it must be time for hot chocolates.’
Both kids leapt off his lap and ran to the kitchen, and he heard cupboards and the fridge door opening. They knew where everything was, including the cream to dump on top, and tonight he didn’t mind the indulgence one bit.
‘Do you still need me to stay on?’ Mackenzie asked him in limbo between the dining room and the kitchen before his kids made too much mess. ‘If you don’t mind me saying, it’d probably do you good to get out tonight.’
He nodded. He’d bumped into Robert, an ex-college buddy at the park in Stamford three weeks ago and Robert had invited him to a party, which was tonight. Of course, when he’d said he would go, he hadn’t predicted burying his mom on the same day. When Mackenzie had turned up this morning to babysit, she’d seen the official invite and suggested it might do him good. She’d told him Connie would want him to get out there and enjoy life.
He thought about his mom now. Connie Bakersfield had never been one to sit in a corner or wallow in self-pity. She was about seizing the day. Dylan took after his father far more. Walter Bakersfield was a tall, serious looking man with a heart that radiated warmth at a hundred paces. He was quiet and hard-working and he’d built up a considerable property portfolio over the years, taking ownership of business premises and homes all across Manhattan and into Connecticut. Connie had always supported him and together his parents were the perfect match. Dylan had longed for that kind of relationship growing up, longed to bring children into a marriage that was as solid as the ground they all walked on. But Prue had struck like a bolt of lightning and before he’d known what was happening, he was going down a path he hadn’t really been sure he’d wanted.
‘So should I stay?’ Mackenzie hovered next to the curved staircase that led to the upper part of the house.
‘Yes please, I’d really appreciate it.’ He knew what he needed more than anything right now was to get out of this house. The absence of either parent felt like a giant pair of hands pushing him out of the door, as though they knew there was too much happiness bound up in these walls and if he remembered enough of it, he’d fall apart. ‘How many hours can you do?’
‘I’ll do as many as you need. I’m only next door, so not exactly far to go home, and once Ruby and Jacob are in bed, I’ll do my homework.’
‘Make sure Ruby sees you working, she’s already talking about protesting if she gets too much homework as a teenager.’
Mackenzie giggled. ‘She’s a strong girl, that one.’
‘She certainly is.’
Mackenzie went next door to collect everything she needed and Dylan went into the study and leaned against the windowsill, his cheek almost against the windowpane.
Graduating from Yale, he’d become a lawyer at a prestigious firm in the city and for a while he’d soaked up the high life, the generous salary, the additional perks. He’d even enjoyed the attention his status and smart suits got him from women who visited the firm or worked in offices nearby and passed him on the street. He’d met Prue at a Christmas party seven years ago. Held at an Italian restaurant, Dylan’s firm had been in one VIP room and Prue’s father’s firm had been in the other. When he’d had one too many drinks and stumbled into the wrong VIP room after returning from the restroom, he’d wondered who the stunning blonde was. He’d been pretty sure she wasn’t there at the start of the night. In a sequinned black dress with a split all the way up one leg, exposing a generous amount of tanned thigh, he knew his jaw had fallen to the floor. Prue, as though she’d had a homing signal for a single, affluent man, had been by his side in seconds. They talked, laughed at his mistake, and at the end of the night he’d taken her back to his loft apartment.
What had followed was three months of wild sex. His father had passed away only a couple of months before and Dylan had thrown himself into work, become high on life, invincible. Reality had come crashing down around him the day Prue announced she was pregnant, but she was a catch as much as he was and so he’d got down on one knee and proposed. They’d taken a cab to Tiffany & Co on Fifth Avenue where she’d chosen a dramatic diamond surrounded by even more of the precious stones. He’d thought about his father that night, how proud he would be of him marrying a woman like Prue, of starting a future, having a family, having it all.
Prue and Dylan had moved into his loft apartment in the city soon after, but when Ruby arrived, Prue began looking at real estate out of the city. Dylan had told her there was no rush but she was adamant. She wanted them to have the big house in the suburbs, the home he knew he’d have one day, just not yet. He’d planned to stay in the city as long as he could, work his way up the firm and then, when he’d made enough money, he wanted to leave office life, move out to Connecticut or New Jersey and do something entirely different, something creative, something he was passionate about. His father had been big on long-term goals, having a plan, and it’s what Dylan wanted too.
Telling Prue of his long-term career plans had been the beginning of the end. He’d seen it in her eyes. They’d been together for such a short amount of time that they didn’t know one another at all. Time together had been mostly in the horizontal position and they’d got caught up in the whirlwind before they realised he planned on going in one direction, she in another. When Ruby was just over a year old, Prue had got pregnant again and told Dylan there was no way he could leave the law firm now, not with two kids to feed. Dylan swallowed his hurt and decided to make a go of things. He bought a house in Connecticut, not far from Stamford, and carried on at the firm. Prue had got what she wanted and she hung around with other yummy mummies with their expensive strollers, personal-trainer-toned bodies, and talk of their husbands’ work.
Life went on until Dylan’s firm went through a restructure and he lost his job. It caused almighty rows, with Prue accusing him of jumping rather than being pushed, of not caring about her and the life they’d built. Some days Dylan contemplated walking out and leaving Prue to it, but he loved his kids with all his being. In the end, he didn’t have to do anything because it was Prue who changed their lives forever. He’d only been out of work a month, in her space, and able to ask that she didn’t spend all that money on clothes when she’d only bought new ones last week or request she didn’t book another holiday with her girlfriends to the Hamptons, when she upped and walked out on all three of them.
Dylan sat in his father’s old desk chair now. He could hear the kids giggling with Mackenzie. From what he could make out, they were playing murder in the dark, their favourite game when the babysitter was here. He couldn’t remember Prue ever playing a game with them; it’d mess up her hair or crease her designer clothes, pull out her alignment from all those ridiculously expensive Pilates classes.
Prue had come to the funeral that morning and for that he was grateful. She’d been there for him when his mom first got sick too, and he’d found out about the debts his father had left behind. The so-called property empire hadn’t been as lucrative as Dylan thought and Prue had listened to how Connie had tried to keep it all quiet and sell off assets, but there was still a way to go. Dylan had been desperate to avoid forfeiting the house but had no idea how to find his way out of the mess. Prue had tried to sway him and encourage him to fight and keep the property business going, but he couldn’t. It had been his father’s passion, not his.
Dylan heard the approaching sound of tiny footsteps against the wooden floors in the hallway, and the door to the study flew open.
‘Daddy, come and play!’ Puffing, Jacob tumbled into the room and pulled at Dylan’s arm to get him out of the chair.
‘Five minutes and I will.’ He hugged Jacob before he could charge off again. ‘And after that I have to change for the party.’
Jacob may not have caught the tail end of the sentence because he was already off shouting at the top of his voice that Daddy would be with them soon. Dylan wiggled the mouse on the computer so the screen came on—he’d spent this morning replying to emails, doing anything other than think about burying his mom next to his dad—and clicked onto his bank account. The balance had slowly begun to diminish since his career in law came to an end and only last month he’d been wondering how much longer he’d be able to keep building up his web design business and establish a solid reputation, before he had to find other means of supporting himself and his family. But bizarrely, a new deal had come his way at the perfect time.
