‘We both did. When they cried, we took turns, don’t you remember?’ Dylan topped up his glass of wine, but Prue shook her head at the offer.
‘We took turns when they cried, but I also got up at regular intervals when they were silent, went and held my fingers beneath their noses to check they were still breathing, or stroked their cheeks softly to rouse them a little so I’d know they were okay.’
‘Why didn’t you ever tell me?’ He’d always thought the only person Prue had ever worried about was herself.
‘You were the lawyer working long hours and I was the mother. It was my job and I wanted to do it well, the same way I’d wanted to excel in my career before I met you and got pregnant. I never meant to push the kids away, Dylan. But I got to the point where I wanted to know myself as a person, regain my identity. The day I started working again as a real estate agent, I felt I’d found myself.’
‘I never realised you felt that way.’
‘I think giving up work was what I assumed I should do. And you never tried to talk me out of it.’
‘That’s because you never told me how you felt.’ He tugged a hand through his hair. ‘We never really knew one another at all, did we?’
‘No, we didn’t.’ She took a deep breath and smiled. ‘I’m not working as a real estate agent any more. I’ve been a bit elusive, but I took a few weeks off so I could try to talk to you, spend a bit more time with the kids, and as of tomorrow I have a new role, which I applied for via my father.’
Dylan knew that meant Michael Jamieson would’ve pulled some strings.
‘It’s a managerial position, so something new and a step up. I’ll be the face of the new subsidiary company he’s bought.’
Dylan tried to ignore the niggling doubt that Prue was again looking out for herself. He knew everyone had the right to do that, but he wondered where on her priority list he and the kids would be if she was on a new career path and clearly excited by it. He knew other people who had both, but he wasn’t sure whether Prue knew how to do that.
‘I didn’t realise he was expanding.’
‘You know Daddy. Sometimes I don’t think he’ll ever retire.’
Getting back to the matter in hand, Dylan said, ‘I don’t know how all of this changes anything, Prue.’
‘I’m a good mom. And when we were together I thought I had to make a choice: work or motherhood. I never even considered whether I’d be allowed to have both. Am I so bad that I don’t deserve another chance?’
Dylan finished the rest of his wine. He had no idea where this left either of them.
Everyone deserved a second chance and it would be easy to get caught up in the idea of the traditional family, with roles clearly defined, the idea of perfection that didn’t truly exist. He wanted Cleo, but should he sacrifice his own feelings for the sake of his kids? And if he did, was it really the best thing for everyone in the long run?
17
THE LITTLE KNITTING BOX, WEST VILLAGE, NEW YORK CITY
While Kaisha minded the store, Cleo sat out back doing her accounts. She’d decided that today would be the last day before Christmas that she’d obsess about what she was going to do with the Little Knitting Box. Come closing time, she’d switch her mind off the business troubles and an uncertain future, and away from her personal life and how she felt about Dylan, about her ex, Aaron. Instead, after today, she wanted to focus on enjoying the season, seeing friends and family, and she would push everything else out of her mind. Or at least that was the plan.
Scrolling through the spreadsheets, Cleo could see profits were well up on last year with just over a week to go until Christmas, and it gave her a confidence boost that at least financially she was fine for now.
When Kaisha came out the back, she looked up from her laptop. ‘Do you need me to come out and help?’
‘No, don’t get up,’ Kaisha instructed. ‘I just need to grab a pattern from my knitting bag. I’m helping a customer.’ She grinned and whispered conspiratorially, ‘There’s a woman contemplating buying some of the vicuña yarn. I have a pattern for a cape jacket that would be perfect.’
‘That sounds complex.’
‘I’ve never knitted it in vicuña but it’s on the suggested yarns listed on the pattern; for those with a decent budget, that is.’ She winked at Cleo and scurried back out to the store.
Cleo smiled after her assistant. Selling the vicuña would be an even bigger sales boost, a Christmas bonus for the store, and it’d leave her in good spirits by the end of the day. Hats off to Kaisha for pulling this off.
She carried on trawling through the figures for the last year, seeing where peaks and troughs were. She wanted to get a handle on buying patterns and compare them to the previous two years. She noted down as much information as she could in a notebook that would then remain closed until the New Year, when she’d know the countdown was on. It’d be just over a year until the extension of the lease came to an end and times would change.
Thinking about the lease extension, she realised she’d still heard nothing and so she fired off a quick email to Rita at the café and Arnold at the bridal store asking them if they’d heard anything at all.
With a deep sigh, Cleo sat back, her eyes away from the screen. She was meeting up with Teresa tonight for dinner, which she supposed didn’t quite fit in with her idea of getting away from all her problems. But it had to be done, and she knew from her dad’s text messages that it’d please him greatly, something she had no problem doing. Cleo had booked a table at the same Chinese restaurant she’d been to in Chinatown with Dylan because the food was fantastic and she couldn’t be bothered to come up with alternatives. She wanted tonight to go as smoothly as possible because then it was one less hassle before Christmas.
‘How did you go?’ she asked Kaisha when she went out to the store.
