‘Keep your voice down,’ Anita reprimanded and Lydia remembered the curtains were far from soundproof. ‘It’s an option. You were away for a couple of weeks—’
‘I was working!’
‘I realise that, Lydia. And I know your life is carrying on.’
‘What’s that supposed to mean?’
‘You don’t need to be so defensive. I’m not doing any of this to hurt you. I’m simply saying that I’m his mother and I understand you need to work, but when you were away, oh the state they left him in…’ Tears pooled in her eyes but strength scared them away again. ‘It was awful. You would’ve been as upset as I was if you’d seen him. He smelt, his hair was greasy. He was just left most of the time. I know they’re understaffed but heaven forbid I couldn’t come in for a few days or longer. He’d be ignored and the thought breaks my heart.’
‘You know he’d hate it if you put him in a home with old people.’ She tried to say it in a way that would make Anita smile and remember her son the way he once was, not the way he was now. ‘And I would miss not being able to see him.’
‘You could travel up whenever you wanted. The care home isn’t far from my house and you’re welcome to stay with me any time.’
Oh God, she’d really thought this through, hadn’t she?
‘I’d better go.’ Lydia was suddenly desperate to get away. ‘Don’t do anything yet, please. We need to think about it. We need to think about what’s best for Theo.’ She pulled back the curtain and before Anita could say anything else, she escaped to the other side.
Perhaps if they’d been thinking about what was best for Theo from the beginning, they wouldn’t even be having this ridiculous conversation right now.
Lydia got all the way down to the lobby and the main entrance before she turned back. She couldn’t go home, not yet, she needed to get some answers. Instead of leaving the building, she asked at reception whether they could page the consultant who had dealt with Theo’s case in the early days and still was to some extent, presumably. The woman behind the desk clearly thought it was too much to ask and huffed and puffed and in the end Lydia made her own way through the hospital corridors and up to the ICU. She was familiar enough with the place and the nurses recognised her, asked after Theo, and when the consultant emerged from the room on her left she cornered him.
They went into an interview room for privacy. ‘What can I do for you?’ he asked.
‘I know you’ve probably told Anita everything but I wanted to ask you questions myself, so I can sort everything out in my own mind.’ She heaved a sigh of relief that she hadn’t fallen apart and demanded answers, but explained exactly what she needed.
‘Of course.’ He gestured to a chair and when they were both sitting he asked, ‘What would you like to know?’
‘In your opinion, is Theo going to make a full recovery?’
He took her blunt question in his stride. ‘I can’t make any guarantees. Brain injuries are different and we know a lot but there’s still a great deal to learn. In Theo’s case we simply don’t know why he hasn’t regained full consciousness yet. Having said that, it is a positive sign that he’s out of the coma.’ He looked at her and she could see the sympathy in his eyes. ‘Lydia, what I will say is that patients recovering from brain injury have various phases they may or may not pass through, and this is one of them.’
It sounded hopeful but Lydia was here for better answers than that. She had hope in spades, had done since the accident, but now she needed cold, hard facts. ‘You don’t have to mollycoddle me.’ She smiled tentatively. ‘I’m not like Anita. I can take whatever you throw at me.’
He nodded and pursed his lips together then said, ‘This could be a stage Theo passes through and goes on to regain consciousness, but as you probably already know, there are cases that stop at any stage and the patient will remain in that state.’
He was right, she did know this already, but hearing it again made her shut her eyes and breathe deeply. Maybe she wasn’t quite as ready to hear the news as she thought she was.
‘We are doing everything we can,’ he explained, ‘and I’m a great believer that family and loved ones help by visiting and doing exactly what you’re doing. You’re talking to him, you’re hoping and you’re carrying on. It’s all you can do.’
‘Anita mentioned rehabilitation, but the waiting lists are long.’
He nodded solemnly. ‘They are, unfortunately.’
‘Do you believe rehabilitation could help Theo?’
‘Every case is different Lydia, but it’s certainly what we’d hope.’
‘And do you know she’s thinking of moving him to a care home?’ She shook her head as though this was ridiculous. ‘Can she do that?’
‘Again, each patient is different. In some cases the family chooses to care for the patient at home, which is a tremendous ask and one I personally wouldn’t recommend. Others pay to have a private rehabilitation facility because government-funded places are hard to come by, and then some relatives, like Anita, request their loved one be moved to a care home.’
It sounded like it was already happening and Lydia wasn’t sure how much she could or should fight Anita on this. Bath was Theo’s home, her house was his home, but that Theo wasn’t here anymore. Everything had changed.
And, she realised, dread forming in the pit of her stomach, this could be it for Theo. This could be as far as he ever went.
