Chapter Fourteen
May 2016
‘Retail therapy was just what I needed.’ Sally slumped down in a chair in the coffee shop along one of Bath’s laneways and let the bags of merchandise fall from her arms one by one.
Lydia did the same. ‘Hot chocolate?’
‘Yes please. Oh, and some of that legendary carrot cake.’ She whispered, ‘And make sure you find me a slice with extra thick buttery icing. Don’t let them give you one with barely any on it.’
‘I’ll do my best.’
It was the second Saturday in May and beneath the beautiful Bath sunlight, they’d shopped for hours that morning. Lydia had finally found two new pairs of jeans – a near impossible feat with her curves – and three new tops, plus a new T-shirt for dancing, and Sally insisted they were going out tonight to christen their purchases.
The waitress delivered the hot chocolates and two over-generous slices of carrot cake. ‘Enough icing?’ Lydia asked her friend.
‘I’ll say!’
‘So where are we off to tonight?’ Lydia didn’t waste any time digging in to the cake with the delicate silver fork.
‘We could walk down to All Bar One near the Abbey, it’s great for people watching. Are you still up for me staying at yours tonight, to make a real night of it?’
‘Definitely.’ Although she’d got used to the house being so quiet, it would be nice to have the company, especially tonight. This afternoon would be Lydia’s last visit to the hospital because tomorrow Theo was being moved up to the care home in a tiny village outside of the even tinier village of Walberswick where Anita lived. Anita had got her way, and although she kept apologising that this would mean Lydia would see less of Theo as he recovered – she used those exact words, so sure she was that this wouldn’t be it for her son – she insisted this was the best thing for him.
Lydia knew she had a point. On the general ward, since Anita had told Lydia all about what went on, or what didn’t, Lydia could see the differences. Nurses rotated so quickly she couldn’t keep up with it, she barely knew any of them well enough to have a good natter like she had when Theo was in ICU or the HDU, and if it wasn’t for Anita or her requesting time and time again that someone come and clean Theo, point out that he hadn’t been turned or had his limbs manoeuvred to prevent pressure sores, even Lydia had wondered how long it would be before they forgot about him altogether.
‘How are you feeling about tomorrow?’ Sally asked.
‘Strangely okay.’
‘Did you talk to Theo’s dad?’
‘I decided not to. His wife is still recuperating and I expect he’s got enough on his plate.’ Lydia had contemplated contacting Graham in New Zealand, convinced he’d have something to say about sticking Theo in a home for old people. But she’d backed off, knowing it wasn’t her place to interfere. She doubted any of this was easy for him, especially with the added pressure of distance from his son.
‘And you’re really okay with the move?’
Lydia sighed. ‘Maybe it is for the best. I’ll miss him but…’
‘Go on, you can say it.’
Lydia shook her head.
‘I’ll say it for you then,’ said Sally. ‘You’ll miss him but you won’t miss traipsing up to the hospital, you won’t miss sitting for hours on end not getting any answers, and if you don’t see him so much…’ She stopped talking.
‘Go on…’ Lydia urged.
‘If you don’t see him so much then you aren’t constantly taunted by the fact that he told you to pull the plug and you didn’t.’
Sheepishly, Lydia agreed. ‘I love him, I really do, but it kills me seeing him like this.’
Sally sat with her hand on her friend’s for a moment, and then said, ‘Come on, hurry up and scoff that cake so you can get up to the hospital to see him, and then me and you are hitting the town.’
*
Lydia walked through the entrance to the hospital and froze. She’d been so sure of her feelings when she’d talked to Sally, but now she was anything but. For five months this place had featured in her life like a second vocation she was completely dedicated to. After today, Theo wouldn’t be here. How was she supposed to let go? And should she really be letting go at all?
Her head was already filled with the logistics of the move. She didn’t have her own car – Theo had sold his when he’d been given a company car, and living in the city they didn’t need two vehicles – and after Anita had announced where she was transferring Theo to, Lydia had investigated how she could possibly get up there to see him. Given the distance, she’d be restricted to visiting at weekends. If she wanted to take public transport she’d need to take the train to Paddington, get to Liverpool Street, then take the connection to Ipswich, followed by another train to the village near Anita’s home. All of which took more than four and a half hours, and then it would still be a ten-minute taxi ride from the station to the care home. The other option was to hire a car for the weekend, which worked out cheaper and obviously had more flexibility. But either way, trekking across to another county to see Theo wasn’t going to be easy, or cheap.
Lydia made her way to the general ward, which was buzzing with banter from one bedside where a group of women were signing the cast on another woman’s leg. She walked past an elderly lady who looked as though all she wanted was a bit of peace and quiet, and when she saw Theo it was oddly settling to know he wouldn’t be here much longer. Anita was right. This wasn’t the place for him anymore. Wherever he was on that trajectory of recovery and whether he stayed like this or not, he needed to be out of this hospital.
