Chapter Sixteen
May 2016
Lydia spent her first week of not visiting the hospital adjusting to a life almost completely without Theo. She’d already become organised at running the household alone, with all bills neatly filed every month, bank statements checked and put away, shopping lists adhered to and budgets respected. But now, with only the one income for the foreseeable future, she had to get wise about her finances. The mortgage was just about doable on her own, but she’d have to be careful and squirrel away some money each month for emergencies and for travel expenses to see Theo. Once upon a time they’d had a healthy savings account, but an unwise investment on Theo’s part had seen it dwindle to next to nothing. It hadn’t been his fault, not this time, she was sure, but Lydia had asked that they stick to normal bank accounts rather than try to do anything clever again. ‘It’s rubbish interest,’ she’d told Theo, ‘but at least we won’t be losing any capital.’
According to Anita and Grace, Theo had settled in at the care home, the staff were friendly and respectful, the environment clean and calm. But Lydia still wondered how attentive the staff were, whether they acknowledged him the way his family tried to do even though he wasn’t awake. She hadn’t asked Anita anything further about the rehab facility, but every day Lydia crossed her fingers for good news about a place soon. It made her head spin to think of how Theo would react if he were to ever realise he was in a home full of old people, and the thought of the progression to rehab was the only thing that kept her going some days.
At the office, Ian had returned for the day, still buzzing with his new role as a father of three, and when Lydia finally finished the phone interview with the owner of a top hotel in Cumbria for a new feature she was researching, she went into his office.
‘Welcome back,’ she said with a smile.
‘Thanks, Lydia. Come in, shut the door.’ He was shredding papers and trying to get some kind of order to his overflowing desk. Maybe fatherhood did that to you, made you want to get everything shipshape before the new arrival threw too much chaos into the mix.
Lydia wasn’t sure why he wanted a confidential chat. She’d made every deadline and was past her probation period. ‘Is everything okay?’ she asked, worried now.
He finally sat down and exhaled. ‘I should be asking you that.’
‘Why?’
‘Lydia, you know why.’
‘Ah.’
‘You should’ve told me about your situation before. I’m quite an understanding boss.’
She smiled. ‘You are, and I appreciate it, but I won’t take the piss.’
‘I wouldn’t ever suspect you of doing so. You’re a good worker, one of the best. But if you’d told me I could’ve made allowances.’
‘That’s exactly what I didn’t want. When I come in here, I want to forget everything going on out there.’ She nodded to the window that looked out across the city’s shops, filled with chattering mums after the school run, students who wouldn’t have lectures until much later in the day. ‘I didn’t want to be asked how I was. I get enough of that from my own family and friends, so coming in here was a chance for me to be…well, just me.’
Ian nodded contemplatively. ‘I guess I can understand that.’
‘If I’d told you, you never would’ve sent me away to Hertfordshire on an assignment, would you?’
‘Probably not.’
‘Exactly. And that was the first night away for me in a long time, and it was a good night.’
He nodded in agreement. ‘How’s the mother-in-law, so to speak?’
During their conversation at the hospital it had been the best way to refer to Anita and, Lydia supposed, it was almost right. She and Theo weren’t married, but they had been together for a long time and her life was entwined with his family.
‘I haven’t heard much, but she’s home now and Theo is settled. There’s no change, I know she would’ve told me.’ Lydia had sworn she’d barely talk about this again with Ian but tears pricked her eyes. Ever since the kiss with Connor it was as though she’d taken a couple of steps back in how she felt, rather than moving forwards. ‘He’d hate it in the care home. He’d be devastated if he knew where he was.’
Ian sighed. ‘I think we’d all hate it if we were him. But don’t be too hard on his mum.’
‘It’s hard not to be angry with her.’ She shook her head, knowing how unreasonable she was being.
‘I’m not trying to be a know-it-all because I’m a father, but you need to look at it differently. The love your mother-in-law has for Theo is different than your love. It’s a love that’s very often blinkered.’
‘I suppose you’re right.’ Lydia kept trying to think of it that way but it was hard.
‘Are you going up to see him soon?’
‘This weekend.’ She stood up. ‘I mean it when I say I don’t want any special treatment. Don’t hold back on assignments for me, ever. I need them.’ The look he gave her spoke volumes for his understanding. ‘I’d better get on or you’ll have me on a warning for not pulling my weight.’
At the door she stopped. ‘And Ian…could you keep this just between us?’
