Chapter Twenty-Three
December 2016
Lydia woke at four o’clock in the morning to find Connor had gone, but on the pillow next to hers was a note telling her he’d left because he wasn’t sure how she’d feel when she woke up sober and realised what they’d done. The P.S. had made her laugh because it said that if she needed his services again, purely for her mental health, then he wouldn’t mind being summoned at any time day or night.
Lydia fell asleep again, exhausted, and by the time she woke the sun was streaming in through the gap at the side of the bedroom curtains. In the bathroom she washed her face and made her way downstairs, but before she had a chance to make a cup of tea there was a knock at the front door.
Bleary-eyed still, she opened it to find Connor standing on the other side. She didn’t know what to say to him so stood back and he came inside.
‘Good morning.’ He kissed her on the cheek.
‘Good morning. You’re back so soon.’
‘I figured if you were really upset about last night then you wouldn’t answer the door, and if you answered the door then you must be all right about what happened. Am I right?’
She threw her arms around him and hugged him tight. Different to last night; it wasn’t a move of passion, but a gesture of friendship. ‘We’re good,’ she said.
‘I’m glad you were satisfied with my services.’ He grinned. ‘Any time.’
‘What’s in the bag?’ she asked as he took the lead and went through to the kitchen.
‘Hangover breakfast.’
‘It doesn’t smell very good.’
With a roll of his eyes he told her, ‘That’s because I haven’t cooked anything yet. What, you thought I was bringing you a greasy takeaway breakfast with cardboard hash browns? Actually, that option sounds quite good on an empty stomach, so I’d better get cooking.’
When he pulled out a packet of bacon, fresh tomatoes and mushrooms, a box of eggs and a bottle of HP sauce, Lydia took out the pans he’d need and washed the mushrooms. Between them they had bacon and egg sandwiches whipped up in no time, with a generous dollop of tangy sauce.
‘You’re a top friend, you know,’ said Lydia, her hand in front of her mouth as she devoured the sandwich.
‘The things I have to do in the name of friendship.’ He pretended to look perturbed.
She went to the fridge, took out the juice and poured them both a glass. ‘I think we need to talk about the elephant in the room.’ He made her giggle when he looked beneath the table and behind the door. ‘I’m serious, Connor. I don’t want to lose you as a friend.’
‘You won’t.’
‘Yes, but I feel I pushed you into it.’
‘You did.’
‘Connor, I’m serious. We need to clear this up.’
‘Lydia, it was more you, but it takes two. And if I hadn’t wanted to, I wouldn’t have slept with you. Do you want us to be more than just friends? Do you want to start a relationship?’
Elbows on the table, she rested her forehead in her hands. ‘This is too much for a morning where I’m definitely, one hundred per cent, hungover. All I know is that I don’t want anything to change. Does that make sense?’ She waited for him to pile their empty plates on top of one another. ‘There, I’ve said how I feel. And now I feel terrible.’
‘Don’t.’ He put the top back on the HP Sauce. ‘You know, I don’t think I want anything more either.’
‘You don’t? Why, what’s wrong with me?’
‘I assume you’re teasing.’ He knocked her arm playfully. ‘Don’t get me wrong, the sex was great, you’re great…but I think we were only ever meant to be good friends.’
‘So you had pity sex with me? Pity sex with the poor girl who hasn’t done it in almost a year, the girl who found out her boyfriend cheated on her, the girl whose life is in limbo.’
‘Yeah. Get the violins out.’ He nodded to the offer of a cup of tea and then said, ‘I’ve got an interview for a job in January.’
‘That’s great news.’ She smiled. ‘Where?’
