‘Who?’
‘They work with Theo. Melanie was in the car too. She was lucky.’
Lydia shook herself awake. ‘I’ll go and stretch my legs and send them in.’
Anita made some sound of acknowledgment as Lydia kissed Theo’s cheek and left them to it. She desperately needed a big cup of black tea and this time she’d sit down until it was finished, letting the warmth work some magic.
A woman stepped forwards as soon as Lydia entered the visitors’ room and Lydia had to assume this was Melanie, upright on her own two feet with her arm in a cast and a bruise on her headthat had already passed through its worst phases of purple and black and deep green and now had tinges of yellow at the edges. Lydia knew she was being horrible resenting the fact this woman, this colleague, had been in the same vehicle, in the same accident, yet walked away in a much better state than Theo. Perhaps it was human nature to think that way, or maybe she was just a bitch and completely selfish.
‘You must be Melanie.’ Lydia managed a tiny welcoming smile and directed another at the man who came over to introduce himself as Ricky.
‘How’s Theo?’ Ricky asked.
‘No change.’ She couldn’t go into more detail. Not right now. It was too horrible in her own head, let alone trying to voice the details out loud. She’d already done that when she’d explained what was going on to her parents and when she’d told her best friend, Sally. She’d leave it up to Anita to update anyone else on her boyfriend’s progress, comfort them when they showed emotion, direct them to the facilities when they needed them. It was her way of processing the information through her own brain, as though the first time hadn’t been enough, but perhaps the fourth, fifth or tenth time she described everything it’d finally get through.
Ricky was in a suit but Melanie was evidently not back at work yet, dressed in jogging bottoms and a sweatshirt. She looked a bit uncomfortable and with her long, poker-straight blonde hair, Lydia suspected she was more into dark fitted suits and killer heels than the outfit she had on now.
Dark fitted suits… didn’t you wear those to funerals?
Ricky reached out and caught Lydia when her legs gave way beneath her. ‘Come on, let’s find a seat for you.’
‘I’m just so tired.’ Lydia had allowed herself to be steered to a chair and Melanie, even one-armed, made her a black tea while Ricky went in to see Theo.
‘Thanks.’ Lydia took the tea and closed her eyes after her first sip. The warmth slid down her throat and settled inside her. When she finally opened her eyes she asked, ‘How are you feeling?’
Melanie shook her head. ‘I’ll be fine. Once this has healed.’ She nodded at the cast that was yet to have any signatures upon it, or maybe she was too refined for such a thing. ‘I was very lucky.’ Lydia didn’t say anything. ‘I feel so bad.’ Lydia wished she’d shut up. ‘I was supposed to be driving but I’d had wine with the client lunch so I asked Theo to drive. The driver took the full impact.’
Lydia felt the hand that wasn’t curled around her cup scrunch up into a ball.
‘Isn’t there any change at all?’ Melanie asked.
‘No. He’s still in a coma.’ Boyfriend in a coma, that’s what she had now. Her life had gone from the minutiae of coupledom with shared dinners, arguments over whose turn it was to put the rubbish out and whether they should drink red or white wine with their meal, to an ever-revolving routine of hospital visits, mealtimes usually of day-old sandwiches at the canteen, a shower when she got home, a fitful night in a bed she’d rarely slept alone in, and then a shower to mark the start of the routine all over again. Her friends called often, they texted, they sent Facebook messages. The support was there but Lydia had kept herself on a conveyor belt that always followed the same route and she didn’t have the time to deviate from what had unfortunately become the norm. Sally delivered evening meals on occasion and stayed for the odd glass of wine, but she knew Lydia too well and had stepped back, waiting in the wings until Lydia was ready for more. Lydia hadn’t even danced since the day the accident happened, and she wasn’t sure she ever would again.
‘People wake up from comas all the time, don’t they?’ Melanie grasped at the same hope Lydia had been summoning in the last few days.
Her resentment gave way to empathy. Melanie obviously felt terrible. She’d walked away relatively unharmed compared to the man she’d asked to drive because she couldn’t resist a drink. Or perhaps that was still a bit harsh. ‘Yes, I suppose they do.’ Some also went on to die but Lydia didn’t say that. Saying it out loud could bring bad luck and they didn’t need any of that right now. ‘The doctors are hopeful,’ she added. It was as much as she could offer.
One doctor they’d spoken to had made them feel as though Theo had a good chance of regaining consciousness, but the neurologist had painted a grimmer picture, talking at length about traumatic brain injuries and how they were unpredictable and nobody really knew what could happen. Lydia would’ve taken it as a hopeful message but she felt sure the look on his face, the grave knitting of his eyebrows and excessively deep creases on his forehead spoke of nothing of the sort.
Lydia finished her tea. She’d already burnt the tip of her tongue but she didn’t want to sit here and talk about Theo; she did enough of that with his doctors and his mum. She wanted to remember how to breathe, remember to be strong for him no matter what, and most of all she wanted him to just wake up. She watched Melanie, nervously rubbing her usable palm up against her jogging bottoms.
‘When will you be back at work?’ Lydia asked her question for something to break the eerie silence rather than because she was actually interested.
‘I’m not going back to work for a while. And when I do, I’ll be heading overseas.’
‘A promotion?’
‘No, it’s a sideways move, but I’m looking forward to it. I’ll be away for at least a year.’
It was another reminder that life for Lydia and Theo had changed in an instant, altered with a small patch of insignificant-looking black ice in the right spot hit at completely the wrong time.
‘Well, best of luck,’ said Lydia.
‘Thanks. I won’t fly until I’ve had the all clear. My parents are coming down tomorrow and taking me up to the Lake District to stay with them for a while.’
‘That’ll be nice.’
‘I wish you and Theo all the best.’ Melanie smiled nervously and put her empty cup in the bin before turning and making her way to the ICU.
Lydia had returned her smile because she didn’t have it in her to resent the woman who’d walked away almost unscathed. Perhaps one day she wouldn’t need to make the effort with Theo’s work colleague, maybe he’d walk out of here soon and they’d all chat about the accident and how treacherous the roads could be.
Maybe everything would soon carry on as it was before.
Or maybe, from today, their lives were destined to be completely different.
