‘It’s not quite champagne…’ Theo poured Appletise into two glasses, his arm steadier than Lydia had seen before today. ‘…but I can’t drink and you’re driving, so I figured this was a good choice.’
‘It’s perfect.’ She noticed him turn his head slightly to the left but she didn’t comment. She knew there was a problem with his hearing, but knowing Theo, he wouldn’t want to be questioned about it. If he wanted to go into detail, he would. Until then he’d deal with it head on and manage the situation.
Beneath the spring sunshine, and a cool but not cold breeze blowing, they looked out at the fields beyond. ‘It’s beautiful out here,’ she remarked.
‘It sure is.’
‘Did your mum ever tell you about the care home you were in?’ She wasn’t sure how her question was going to go down.
‘I heard all about it, and I’m glad I can’t remember a thing.’
They fell about in fits of laughter about the dreariness, the near-death feeling of the staff and even the walls stained after so many years of neglect.
‘It was like a place where people went to die,’ she told him. ‘It was nasty.’ Her sides hurt from the laughter but she turned serious. ‘This place is what helped you, I can see that now.’
‘It’s still helping me. Nobody is sure but the experts here say I was probably minimally conscious a lot earlier than it was detected. In the care home it would’ve been easy to miss with staff who didn’t have the experience that they have here.’ He took a deep breath before carrying on. ‘Sometimes I wake up sweating, I have nightmares about being trapped inside my body unable to tell anyone I’m there because I can’t move or speak.’
Lydia swallowed hard, the thought terrifying her too.
‘I have other nightmares,’ he said, ‘about my hair.’
Relief and laughter flooded her body. ‘Your hair?’
‘Yeah! What the fuck did they do to it when I was unconscious?’ He ran a hand through his hair now, tufty on top and almost back to the way it had been before, but not quite. ‘The first time I saw it in a mirror I knew I needed to get better, if only to stagger to my usual barber and get them to sort it out.’
His joviality brightened both of them and when he winked at Lydia – a facial expression so familiar she almost cried – all she could do was stare out to the countryside beyond.
When she gathered herself, she said, ‘You’re still using the chair.’
‘I’m more accepting of it,’ he explained. ‘I hated it at first but I’m no longer being such a jerk. Now I do the rigorous physio but I accept my limits.’
‘You sound like a textbook.’ She grinned across at him, his face glowing with health. It was as though it was changing before her from the gaunt, pale, thin skin that had laid there in a hospital bed to a Theo with filled-out cheeks, the hint of a tan that indicated this wasn’t the first time he’d been outside with his face in the full sunlight, and the smile that made him look as alive as he really was.
She asked about his physio session and he regaled tales of the exercises they’d had him do, the frustration he felt but which he managed to convert into the raw energy he needed to do the things that were going to make him better. ‘I’ve been told that in a few months I’ll be able to move back in with Mum, and I’ll come here for my tailored program.’
‘Theo, that’s fantastic!’
‘I’m not sure about living in my childhood room again.’ He smiled, the cheeky smile that looked out from all the boyish photographs of him lining the windowsill in his mum’s home, some next to his sister, others in school uniform, another at his graduation.
Lydia wondered if a photograph of Christopher would ever join the collection or whether the painful memories would always be too much for Anita.
‘I need to be managing stairs by then,’ said Theo, ‘which is slightly unimaginable right now. But I’m determined.’
‘I’ll bet.’ She quietened and shook her head when he asked if she wanted more food.
‘I’m not sure when I’ll get back toThe Timescrossword.’ He managed a smile.
‘You do know most people can’t do those anyway, don’t you? You were one of the few people who were annoyingly good at them.’
‘Not anymore. I’ll be doing the kids puzzles from now on. My attention span isn’t too good these days and it’s almost as though half the words I know have fallen out of my head.’
‘It must be very frustrating.’
‘I’ll be the man I was before, Lydia.’ He didn’t look at her this time. Both of them were watching two bumblebees ducking and diving into the lilac bush on the other side of the fence post.
When the clouds came over, Lydia shivered. ‘Theo, you may never be exactly the same.’
He didn’t get angry, he didn’t snap at her. ‘I’ll get as close as possible, Lydia. You’ll see.’
