Epilogue
One year later
They say true love comes along once in a lifetime. Lydia had heard that somewhere. She wasn’t sure where.
On her hands and knees in the courtyard, she dug over the soil in the enormous navy blue plant pot and pushed in gladioli bulbs. This courtyard was bigger than the one in her last house and she was finally appreciating how nice an outside space could be if you took the time and made a little extra effort to add some colour. She trimmed the wisteria weaving its way around the archway that stood at an angle in the far corner, and tended to the deep red roses in the flowerbed beneath the kitchen window, far too beautiful for the vicious thorns hidden on the stems.
With everything that had happened, selling the house she and Theo had first bought had been the natural progression. It held too many memories, some good but plenty agonising like the knock at the door on the day of the accident, the nights when she and Theo had fought and she’d wondered whether she should completely give up, the times she’d come home from the hospital despairing that they hadn’t done right by him.
‘There you are.’ A voice behind her made her look up. ‘I was calling you for ages.’
‘Sorry, I was lost in thought. I’m almost done.’ When he squatted down next to her, she kissed him and smiled.
On that day at the rehab centre, a year ago to the day, she’d walked into the room to see her Theo, the man who could stand as tall as he ever could, who’d filled out with muscle again and who could walk unaided for short distances, and they’d held each other tightly, neither one wanting to be the first to pull away.
‘You look really good,’ she told him.
‘So do you.’ He ran his fingers down the strands of her hair, cut into a neat bob now, a new look for spring and a fresh start. ‘I’ll be out of here in two weeks.’ His smile was unwavering. ‘I barely use the wheelchair anymore, I’m getting better with my short-term memory, and I’m finding ways to “manage my anger”.’
The last bit in air quotes made her giggle. ‘Good for you. Has Anita got your room all ready?’
‘No doubt she’s found out some of my toy cars from the attic and has it all ready for me, yes.’
‘She just loves you, that’s all.’
‘I know she does.’ He sat down on the sofa and she moved closer to him, their hands entwined in the same way their lives had been for so long. Through the open window came birdsong that buoyed life along in the way it should be: happy and easy.
Tears pricked the corners of her eyes. She’d walked into the room so firm with her decision, and she still was, but the pain of everything they’d all been through was sometimes as raw as if it had happened yesterday.
‘I’m sorry for what I did to you, Lydia.’
‘You’ve apologised enough.’
‘I don’t think I can ever apologise enough. I wish I could turn back the clock and do things differently.’
She looked up at him. ‘We’ve both changed a lot over time. Not just since the accident, but in the years leading up to it. We were happy at times, but there was a lot broken in our relationship. Maybe we could’ve repaired it, maybe not.’
He squeezed her hand a single time and then dropped it, looked down at his palms pressed together on top of his knees. ‘You’re choosing Jonathan.’ He steepled his fingers together now and rested his mouth on them. ‘You’ve come to tell me we’re over.’
She took a deep breath. ‘Yes. I’m sorry, Theo.’
She excused herself and ran to the bathroom. She was still sure of her decision, it was the right one. Too much had changed and she’d moved in an unexpected direction. But she didn’t want to hurt Theo, that wasn’t her intention. She never ever wanted to hurt him. In many ways she still loved him so much.
‘Are you absolutely positive you don’t want to try again?’ he asked the second she came back into the room. It was obvious he’d been crying too, still something she wasn’t used to seeing and it made her feel weak, nauseous, like she was ripping away a piece of his heart.
He took her hand and squeezed it and she could tell he was gaining more and more strength every day. ‘I’m positive.’ She got down on the floor so she was kneeling and looking up at him. She took both of his hands in hers. ‘You’re a wonderful, kind, loving man, who I fell in love with. And when I thought I’d lost you the day of your accident I was devastated. It took me a long, long time to pick up the pieces and move forwards, it really did. Getting involved with another man wasn’t something I took lightly. I certainly didn’t go looking for someone new, someone to replace you.’
She hadn’t told him about Connor, he didn’t need to know about her other involvement with a man who would be a friend for life, only about the man who’d really changed everything.
‘I hope he’s good for you, Lydia.’
She stood up and took his face in her hands. ‘He is.’ She’d yet to talk to Jonathan, tell him what she’d decided. He may have got fed up waiting, she wasn’t sure. But one thing she did know was that her time with Theo had passed.
‘He’d better be, or he’ll have me to answer to.’ Theo rested his head against her chest as she hugged him tight while he was still sitting beside the window. He pulled back. ‘Once I get my full strength back I’ll be able to kick his arse if he ever does anything to hurt you.’ He swiped away a tear, something the old Theo would never have done.
‘I’m sure you will.’ She spoke through her own tears, tears of everything that had passed, relief that this moment marked the day they could both move forwards.
That day at the rehab centre had been emotionally draining, in some ways more than the day Theo had the car crash. But it had also been the beginning of a new start with Jonathan, a very happy day in many ways.
