Memories resurfaced and it always helped to talk about them. ‘Do you know, he was your nan’s little cling-on when we were growing up.’
‘I can’t imagine that. He always sounded really independent.’
He’d said so much about his brother over the years it was as though Scarlett knew Robbie too. ‘I’ve no idea when it changed. Mum says that one minute he was clinging to her leg not wanting to be separated, the next he’d gone off to high school and barely turned back. He had a fiery ambition; he travelled all over the world and he had a ten-year career plan with ideas of retiring in the wilderness of Canada of all places.’
‘I wish I’d met him.’
‘Yeah, me too. He was a good guy. A little terror when he was younger though. He was forever playing pranks at school, getting into trouble. He did the classic whoopee cushion on the teacher’s chair, the cling film over the toilet bowl in thegirls’toilet. I’m serious,’ he said at Scarlett’s shock. ‘And he once set off the school fire alarm because he hadn’t revised for his physics test and with it being the end of the day knew they’d have to postpone it.’
‘You must miss him a lot.’ Scarlett finished her last mouthful of pancake and declared she was too full for anything else, even another drink. ‘Were you jealous he did so much and you were stuck at home being a parent?’
‘Of course not. Well, maybe just a little.’ She didn’t come back with a rebuke, comment on his bad parenting she either recalled or had heard about. ‘But he was very different to me. He never could’ve stuck an office job, especially one that had the long hours I was faced with. You know, Robbie asked your mum out once.’
‘No way.’
‘They went to a dance. She was way too young for him – her parents were not happy at all, ours weren’t that impressed either.’
‘Did they date after that?’
‘No, Dawn says she came to her senses quickly and chose the right brother.’ He smiled. ‘I never told Robbie that, I didn’t want to upset him, but I think he kind of knew anyway. Your mum was a homebody; she wasn’t interested in travelling the world and leaving all that she knew. He got over her pretty quick. Two weeks later and he was dating Sara, one of the hottest and most experienced – if you know what I mean – barmaids at the local pub. I think he was pretty happy.’
‘Euw, Dad. That’s too much information.’
‘I wish you could’ve met him. He’d have loved you. That, or he would’ve led you astray.’ He demolished his pancakes quick enough and the juice too. ‘Robbie was also all about seizing the day, so come on, let’s go before I get too miserable. We could do Ground Zero then walk the Brooklyn Bridge and leave all the busyness behind.’
‘You’ve a funny idea of what leaving busyness behind actually means. From what I’ve heard, the Brooklyn Bridge will be a sea of people.’
‘I might have to make you hold my hand so you don’t get lost.’
‘No chance.’ But she smiled at his suggestion. ‘We’ll walk over the bridge, find somewhere for lunch.’
They were soon out and about for father-and-daughter time. Here in a city where they knew nobody, where there wasn’t the pressure of friends or school, it was great to see Scarlett so vibrant and enjoying herself. She had an energy she lacked at home and despite the winter chill that hung amongst the skyscrapers and followed them down every street, she was full of enthusiasm, ready for adventure. It reminded him of the little girl she’d once been, the fact that the same girl was still in there somewhere.
Ground Zero was a sombre affair and while the memorial was impressive and tasteful, it didn’t detract from the flood of emotion he felt seeing all those names engraved into the stone. It was confronting, yet people went about their everyday lives around it, talking and laughing, some leaning up against the memorial and the names of the victims. A strong beam of sunlight made him catch his breath. It didn’t matter how a person was taken from you, the resulting effect was the same. Devastation, pain, a wondering of how you could possibly go on.
They didn’t hang around long and, with a coffee each from the first cart they saw, Nathan led the way to the Brooklyn Bridge, negotiating the throng of pedestrians, the traffic fumes that were part of this vibrant city. And after they’d thrown their empty cups in the bin, Scarlett asked, ‘Ready to see Brooklyn?’
He pulled her into a hug and she didn’t resist. ‘You bet,’ he whispered into her hair.
Seeing the pain his parents were in when they lost Robbie was something Nathan never, ever forgot. The family home was blanketed in sadness, stifled with an inability to carry on. And it was Robbie who had been in his head when Dawn died, telling Nathan to step up and be a real man and stop shirking his responsibilities. He could imagine his brother saying those exact words because Robbie had always been independent, daring, a bit on the wild side, but he never forgot birthdays or family celebrations and when he was home he immersed himself in everyone around him and had no problem showing love and appreciation. Nathan had always wanted to be like him as a kid and when he was left as a single parent something inside his head snapped. Instead of resisting parenthood, he embraced it; instead of being afraid, he leapt in and got on with it. And, for the most part, he was convinced it had worked.
The Brooklyn Bridge afforded spectacular views of the Manhattan skyline, the feeling of openness near the water, although the cold winds soon had them craving a warm café for lunch. They were swallowed in crowds, they posed for a selfie with the wind whipping Scarlett’s hair around her face as she desperately attempted to hold it back. And when they eventually reached the other side she suggested they go see ‘The Braves of 9/11’ street art.
Nathan was no art lover but standing there, looking up at the building towering above them, the artwork on the side that spoke of the heartache, the sorrow, the pain, the bravery and courage, it almost swallowed him whole and he could see the emotion on Scarlett’s face, feel it through the grip of her gloved hand in his. The details and the depth of feeling captured by this artist, were something else with its bright, vivid colours. It was hard to reconcile misery and devastation with the hope that this mural somehow magically gave.
Scarlett took photographs while he waited and when they were done he hailed a cab to take them all the way up the Upper West Side of Manhattan.
Nathan led the way when they got out of the cab, until they were standing in front of a picturesque café Scarlett had seen in one of her favourite movies.
A broad smile had her turning to him. ‘You’ve Got Mail!’ Out front of Cafe Lalo she threw her arms around him. ‘Can we go in?’
‘Of course. It’s a real place, you know.’
She shoved him with her elbow. ‘Funny man.’
A red neon sign above the door led the way as they went up the steps and inside, they chose a slice of cake each, although Scarlett took her own sweet time with so many choices, and they sat down by the window looking out at the street and the white lights winding up the bark of one of the trees.
‘This is the most exciting city in the world,’ Scarlett declared when the waiter delivered a cake he couldn’t quite remember the name of with a silky chocolate mousse-like top and curls of chocolate. ‘I feel like Meg, although you don’t look much like Tom.’
