They slowly walked on, side by side, all the way back to the apartment. Amelia didn’t know what to say to him, this boy who was the closest thing she had to a son. She had so much experience dealing with youths who were angry, grieving, upset, but when it came to her own nephew, why couldn’t she process it?
But she knew the answer. If another kid pushed her away, she couldn’t do much about it. She hated it when it happened, but that was the end. Failing was horrible but there had never been such high personal stakes as this. If Kyle had kept his grief inside all these years then she’d failed as an auntie and Connie had failed as a mum, and Amelia wondered whether her sister had any idea of the damage that had been done.
When they reached their apartment Kyle stopped her on the stoop before she opened the front door. ‘Thank you for taking me away from home for a while.’
‘I’m glad you came.’ She hugged him. She had no idea what else to say because most kids would’ve said thank you for bringing them to the most exciting city in the world, to the Big Apple, the city of dreams, yet her nephew seemed to be focused only on the escape it had provided.
And now, Amelia knew, all these years after he lost his dad, Kyle’s grief was still there, just as raw. Was it any wonder he had never got his life on track?
*
Amelia stood in the shower much longer than usual. It was the only place she could do her thinking, let a tear escape and feel her own emotions bubbling up inside without affecting Kyle. When she eventually emerged from her bedroom dressed in a gold jumper, skinny black jeans and boots, she assumed she’d have to nag her nephew to get him out of the door, but here he was in front of her, ready. She tried not to pass comment on the ironed checked shirt he had on, or the smarter of his pairs of jeans he’d chosen. And if she wasn’t mistaken, he’d had a shave and smelt as though he might have used the aftershave his mum bought him last Christmas in an attempt to change him from a grungy, sulky teen into a youth who was well on his way to becoming a man.
‘You scrub up pretty nice,’ he told her.
‘Why thank you, you don’t look so bad yourself.’ His hair still glistened from the shower water, or maybe it was product. Wonders would never cease. Male grooming, perhaps he’d finally hopped onto the trend.
‘Do you promise it won’t be just chicks there tonight?’
‘Firstly, tweet tweet. And secondly, I told you there’ll be other boys for you to talk to.’
‘Men, Amelia, if you please.’ He lowered his voice and gruffly added, ‘Not boys.’
When Kyle was like this he was good company, it was a joy to have him around. ‘Don’t forget your gloves, it’s cold out there. And you really do need a better coat. That one barely has anything to it, it’s hardly suitable for winter,’ she said as he pulled it on.
‘Can’t afford to buy a new coat just for a holiday.’ He switched the main light off as they headed out. ‘This one will do me for years yet.’
‘We’ll grab a hot drink each to make sure we don’t arrive at the party ratty and already wanting to leave.’
‘As if,’ he protested.
One of the things she really loved about New York was how many good street vendors were dotted about, in almost any direction you turned. And such variety. If you didn’t like what was offered on one cart, walk fifty paces and you’d have something different.
They settled on a vendor selling coffees and hot chocolates, went for the former, and making sure to take care on the icy footpaths in the quieter streets, they made their way to the inn chatting away about the city. As they drank, Kyle identified some of the iconic buildings in the distance, they debated whether he was right or not, they marvelled at lights in store windows taking Christmas to a whole new level.
‘If I get bored, can I leave?’ he whispered as they arrived at the Inglenook Inn and took the steps up to the front door of the brownstone.
‘Absolutely not.’ She didn’t lose her smile because Darcy was already opening the door for them.
They said their hellos, Darcy ushered them in out of the cold and from behind the desk took out a big box. ‘There’s plenty in here for you to decorate your tree with.’
‘I really appreciate this, thank you.’ Amelia wanted to give Kyle a shove because he was looking around the place like he was casing the joint. He looked nervous, uncomfortable. She peeked inside the box of ornaments. ‘Look,’ she said to Kyle, repeating herself twice and almost at the point of wanting to kick him in the shins if he didn’t respond.
‘Great,’ he said.
‘Kyle can help carry it home,’ she assured Darcy, who stashed the box back behind the desk for them and launched into hostess mode, offering them drinks. ‘Red wine for me please,’ said Amelia.
‘We do have champagne.’
‘Oh go on then, but only if you join me.’
‘Of course, probably in a while when I’m less likely to have guests needing me. I’ve finished organising dinner reservations, called a cab for a couple who wanted to go over to Brooklyn tonight for some Christmas lights, and if any other guests come in, they can join our gathering. The more the merrier. Kyle, what can I get you?’
‘A cola please.’
Very polite. Amelia hooked her arm through his when Darcy went to fix the drinks. ‘Smile, at least once.’
‘Not yet, don’t want to use all my smiles up.’ But even he couldn’t say that with a straight face. ‘And does she have to be so cheery?’
