‘He used to sail, I suppose that’s why.’ He let the calming sounds of the sea wash over them both. As much as he was worried about Barney, one of the positive things to come out of all of this was that the shared common ground when it came to the man who was so important to them both was helping to bridge the distance between him and Melissa. They weren’t focused on what had happened between them, they were too busy trying to move things forward for Barney, and he wasn’t all that sorry.
A memory came to him. ‘Do you remember when you were younger, burning your hands on the rope that used to hang from the tree beside the barn?’
‘How could I forget?’ She clasped the palm of her hand instinctively even though the mishap had happened a long while ago. ‘It hurt like hell. Barney took me inside, washed my hand, applied some special lotion. He started talking about sailing and the ropes that would chafe his hands, how he dealt with his skin afterwards. I could see the love he had for boats, he told me how much time he’d spent in a local marina as a boy.’
‘He hasn’t mentioned any of that to me for years. When I was building the stage in the barn, he talked about it a lot. He told me about hauling boats out onto the water, the strength needed to sail, how he was frustrated his strength wasn’t what it used to be. But then, it was as though something clicked and he stopped talking about it just like that.’ He threw the stick for Winnie this time. ‘What else did you think was odd about him the other day, apart from his staring at the model ship?’
‘He started saying how he understood exactly why I’d left the Cove. He told me I shouldn’t put off making peace with those I love. He said “My biggest regret is that I didn’t try harder”.’
‘Try harder with what?’
‘I’ve got no idea. But then he told me not to do the same, he said he lost something and it was his own fault, he hadn’t fought hard enough and he’d let his pain get in the way of everything else. I was so focused on not talking about the reasons I left, my own pain, that I moved the conversation on. It was only later on that I wondered what he’d meant by all of it and what he hasn’t told us. Because it’s obvious now that there’s something. You don’t think…’
‘What?’
‘Perhaps he lost someone in a sailing accident – it would explain the sadness and the way he’s had that model ship in prime position ever since I’ve known him.’
‘Most people would keep a photograph front and centre if that was the case, surely.’
‘You’re right. I keep Mum and Dad’s photograph in a frame beside my bed in my flat.’ Her voice caught. ‘Maybe I’m grasping at straws with all this.’
‘Maybe. But only Barney can tell us the truth.’ He took a deep breath and let it out on a sigh. ‘He’s said he doesn’t want to talk about the dress and it looks like the same goes for the marina. I don’t think we should push it, not while he’s in his current state of mind anyway.’
‘No, I suppose not.’ She hooked her hair behind her ears again but it didn’t want to stay put in this wind.
‘The fall has changed him. He’s detached, he sits in that chair way too often.’
‘When I’m with him I’m torn between letting him recuperate and nagging him to move,’ she admitted. ‘Then I think about mentioning the dress and the letter that was written to him, but I’m not brave enough. I guess now I’m here I don’t want anything to come between us.’ Winnie brought the stick back, dropped it at her feet and then settled down on the sands, gnawing at the wood. ‘Perhaps I’m making more out of that dress than there actually is. I mean, it could be a spare for a guest at the ball, couldn’t it?’
His expression said otherwise. ‘Doesn’t explain the letter.’
‘I wish I’d read all of it.’
‘I felt bad that we were prying, it felt wrong.’
‘Do you ever wonder whether he was married once? He’s never said, not in the whole time we’ve known him, but he must have had someone special at some point.’
‘He probably has, but not everyone ends up married. Some people would be better off if they weren’t.’ His mum certainly would’ve been. ‘It doesn’t mean there’s some mystery we need to solve.’ He took a step back as the sea crept a little closer along the shore line. A seagull circled up again, higher and higher until it reached the path they’d followed to get down here. ‘Apart from asking Barney, I don’t see how we can find out anything more.’
‘I think that if we found out more about the dress, we’d find out why he started the Wedding Dress Ball in the first place. It wasn’t something either of us ever questioned, but what if it’s what’s holding him back now? What if it isn’t just the fall, or old age, what if it’s something buried in his past that still has a hold of him? Maybe he won’t be right until he lets it go.’
‘Perhaps we should leave it be. Maybe we don’t have the right to snoop.’
‘I don’t want to snoop either. I want to respect his privacy but at the same time I want him to be back to his old self, and I don’t think he can be unless he sorts his head out.’
‘Are you that convinced there’s something lurking in the background?’
‘I honestly believe that whatever it was that made Barney start up the Wedding Dress Ball in the first place is the key to all of this. And if we understand his reasons, we may be able to get through to him and make him realise what the event means to him, why he can’t give up on it or anything else.’
He didn’t miss the sheen of tears in her eyes. His arm lifted briefly, he almost reached out to her but at the last second he drew his hand firmly to his side.
‘I’m convinced there was a Mrs Barney once upon a time,’ she went on.
‘Your imagination is running away with you. But I suppose it’s possible.’
‘See,’ she grinned, ‘you agree.’
‘And maybe,’ he said with as much seriousness as he could find, ‘maybe he got rid of her, perhaps she’s buried in the old barn and he runs the ball every year to dance on her grave.’
