‘We might be wrong.’ When she looked at him, her eyes glistening as though she felt some of Barney’s pain, he added, ‘We’re not, are we?’
‘I don’t think so.’ She shook her head. ‘It’s heartbreaking. He’s been alone all this time and kept something so painful from everyone he’s close to. I don’t know how he did it all these years.’
‘I think Barney did the same as you did. He ran away, he left his pain behind.’ When she said nothing he asked, ‘Does your boyfriend know much about your life here in the Cove?’
‘He knows enough.’
‘Does he know your parents died?’
‘Of course.’
‘Does he know you lost them at the same time, on a road you saw every day, in the village you’d spent most of your life in?’
She jutted out her jaw. ‘He doesn’t need to know the nitty-gritty. And why are you asking me all this anyway?’
‘Because you and Barney did the same thing. You took your problems with you and didn’t deal with them.’
They stared at each other until she spoke first. ‘I can’t speak for Barney, but from my own experience, it was easier to go and be a new person, without baggage, without people constantly asking about it or referring to it, never mind the physical reminders around the Cove.’
‘Was I a part of that baggage?’
‘Of course not.’
‘But you just left.’
‘And you didn’t come with me!’ Her shouting took them both by surprise. She leaned over, grabbed the wine bottle and topped up her glass.
He didn’t miss the fact she hadn’t refilled his, so he did it himself. ‘I had my reasons. Did you ever stop to consider what they might be?’
‘I knew you never wanted it as much as me, but I wish you’d told me.’
‘Why? You wanted to go, there was an immediacy to it, you knew it and so did I. And you’d already booked the hotel room in London, you had a part-time job to tide you over and your savings behind you. You were never going to stop and look back.’ He gently twiddled the stem of his wine glass between his fingers. ‘I came after you, you know. Not the night you left, not even close. It was almost a year after you went to London. Things had settled down for me and one day I just snapped. I hated how I’d let you go. I persuaded Tracy to give me your address and I got the train into London. I waited across the road from your flat and I saw you. You were on the top step holding hands with a man and that was when I knew. You’d moved on. And I was too late.’
Her face paled, even Winnie couldn’t get her attention. ‘I thought you and I were over. You never called. I wanted to beg you to reconsider, but your silence told me what I needed to know.’
‘Except that it didn’t.’ He stood, glass of wine in hand, and over at the window looked out across the elderflower bushes and the land that belonged to the property. Seeing it all bathed in the sun’s golden glow, he couldn’t imagine not waking up to this every day.
‘I came back here too you know.’ Her voice floated across the kitchen with the admission.
He turned to face her, she was still sitting at the table, running a finger around the rim of her wine glass.
‘A few weeks after I left. I spotted you,’ she said, ‘on the street outside the bakery.’
‘But you didn’t say hello. And you didn’t see Barney, as far as I know, unless he’s kept that quiet too.’
‘I didn’t see Barney, but I did see you and I was angry at first that you looked as though life for you had carried on as normal, as though what happened between us had only happened to me and not to you. It was then I realised that leaving was my dream, it had never been yours.’ She looked down at the table. ‘I cried when I drove away but I knew I had to let you go. I wanted you to be happy, it’s all I ever really wanted for you.’
‘And I for you.’
Tears formed but she didn’t let them spill over. ‘I’m still dealing with my feelings even after all this time because I never understood why you didn’t come with me. Is there something I don’t know?’
He tugged a hand through his hair and knocked back some more wine. ‘I can’t believe nobody filled you in. I mean, I asked Tracy not to, I didn’t want you to feel sorry for me. But I assumed with you two friends again, she might have told you.’
‘All she’s said is that I should talk to you. So I’m asking you now. Why, Harvey?’
He sat down opposite her again. ‘My dad turned up, out of the blue, the night you and I were set to leave the Cove, that’s why I couldn’t come with you.’
‘What happened?’
