‘They’re doing great.’ She recapped where they both were and asked after Juliet’s daughter, Sarah.
Sarah had been a good friend to Alistair, who had been at their house more than he probably should have, more than he would have had Perry not been so awful to live with. Margot had never heard Juliet or her husband talk to their daughter the way Perry talked to his sons, and it made her even more sad that their memories of growing up and family time were tainted with their dad’s lack of interest or disapproval.
‘Well, I’d better go.’ Juliet had a trolley full just like she did. ‘I’ve got my in-laws coming for lunch. But it was good to see you.’
Margot’s smile and spirits faded when Juliet waltzed off.
Despite only living a few doors away they hadn’t really known Juliet and her husband, Mike, until they bumped into them at the tennis club one day. Perry had wanted to learn how to play properly because one of his colleagues had suggested they have a match and by his own admission he wasn’t very good. Margot had taken a chance and asked whether she could have lessons as well, and she must have caught him at a weak moment because he was all for it. So, while he had his lessons, she played other women at the club, and slowly Margot felt a connection to real life opening up to her.
Margot and Juliet soon became friends. They shopped together, they went for lunch or coffee at the weekends, and for a while it had been good. In fact Perry had applauded the friendship until he met Juliet’s husband. Mike, a tactile person, had hugged Margot to thank her for the flowers she’d sent after his mother passed away and Perry hadn’t said a word at the time. But his suspicions that the man was after his wife were confirmed when he cancelled their tennis club memberships without discussion, using the excuse that he had too much work. Perry didn’t stop her going to see Juliet but Juliet worked during the day and Perry was home in the evening, so it was difficult. And if Juliet came to their house, Perry was so cold or abrupt that eventually she stopped coming.
Margot was only thankful that Alistair and Sarah kept the friendship they’d found as their mums got to know each other, a friendship that blossomed at Sarah’s home well away from the tension at Alistair’s.
Back at the house she hauled all the shopping inside, lingering for a moment in the doorway as she watched two women power walking past, engaged in conversation. Friendship, she missed it; she yearned for it.
But all she could do was close the door to the rest of the world she barely felt a part of any more.
* * *
Margot had filled her day with cleaning the lounge, now the furniture was out ready for the decorator to start in a few days, cooking and ironing, and although she had an evening meal prepared at the usual time, Perry waltzed in well after she’d finished and grunted that he’d eaten with a colleague. No apology, no thanks for her hard work. He just left the kitchen after dumping his laptop bag on the other end of the table.
Margot trudged up the stairs wearily once the remains of the Bolognese sauce was packed away in the freezer and the dishes were done. She ran a bath and luxuriated in a long soak. Just what she needed. Although it didn’t fix anything, did it?
When she came back downstairs she knew Perry was in the lounge – she could see him from the hallway, his long legs crossed in front of him. He was most likely kicking back with a nightcap. Heading for the kitchen she wished she’d thought to put the rubbish out before her bath – Perry rarely did it and so she’d have to make sure it was done. But it wasn’t the bin she was focused on when she walked into the room. Her eyes were drawn to the pinboard. The near-to-empty pinboard.
All of Sebastian’s postcards had gone. All that was left beneath a couple of discoloured drawing pins was a receipt for a new suit Perry had ordered and a takeaway menu.
She yanked off the lid to the recycling bin. But they weren’t there.
She went to the bin praying they were inside and sure enough, they were. He hadn’t even bothered to push them down to bury them amongst the rest of the rubbish.
She took out every single one of them, found a plastic bag from the drawer, put the cards inside and then went back upstairs where she stashed the bag beneath the bed.
How could he do that? How could he blatantly get rid of the postcards Sebastian had thoughtfully sent across the miles? Was it to get back at her? Or was it to get back at his son who he thought could do better?
She had no idea but this man wasn’t someone she recognised. He wasn’t a man she wanted to be around any more.
She put the rubbish outside in the bigger bins and once she’d washed her hands went down to the basement after checking Perry was still in the lounge. She wouldn’t confront him. He’d said the pinboard needed clearing, end of story.
She opened up the cupboard where they kept their luggage ready for when it was needed for the next fancy trip. She looked at the suitcases longingly.
All she had to do was reach in, pull one out, put a few things inside and turn her back on her life.
She was the only person who could change things for the better.
Her hand touched the handle of the red suitcase but she withdrew it when she heard footsteps above, turned off the light and went up the stairs.
Could she really leave? Or was Perry right? Years ago she’d told him she wanted a divorce but he’d shut her down, told her she would be nothing without him and would soon come running back. And ever since then she’d thought he was probably right. And if that was going to happen she’d rather not leave in the first place.
She went to bed earlier than usual and when she heard the creak on the landing near their bedroom that meant Perry was having an early night, she quickly put down her book, switched off her lamp and pretended to be asleep. It wasn’t unknown for him to want sex if he wasn’t falling into bed late. She’d avoided being intimate for months now and she had no intention of giving him any more of herself than she already had.
This had to stop.
When the snoring finally began, regardless of everything going on in her life, she crept out of the bedroom and down to the basement.
At last, it was time for the Midnight Book Club.
5
