‘You didn’t think we had more to say?’
I guess that’s what I was scared of. That I’d say everything I was thinking and feeling, blurt out that I’d fallen in love with him too, just like Ash, and ruin everything with the stupid confession.
I shake my head slightly.
‘I talked to Ash.’
I fidget with the strap of my bag.
‘You were right.’
My eyes pull to him. Sadness shifts in me. For her, me, and yeah, for Beau. ‘I know.’
His jaw tightens, his eyes shadowed by regret. ‘I had no idea.’
‘I know that too.’ Just like he has no idea about my feelings, thank god. I wait for him to say something else, to tell me how the conversation went, to tell me that he realised he loves her too.
‘She knows I’m not in love with her. She’s okay. We’re going to be okay.’
My throat is rough; it hurts to swallow. ‘I’m glad.’
‘When we were talking, she said something that really made me stop and think. About how I push people away, because of what happened with Mom, and then Dad.’ I can hardly breathe. ‘I know that’s true—I’ve always known it. But when Ash said it, I had the weirdest urge to contradict her. To tell her that there’s someone I haven’t been able to push away, that I don’t want to lock out. Even when that scares the hell out of me.’
My eyes jerk to his. I don’t say anything. I can’t.
‘I don’t want to push you away, Bailey. For the first time in my whole life, I’ve met someone that I care about more than I fear losing. Like it scares the shit out of me, but not as much as not giving this a chance.’ He sucks in a deep breath, his eyes anguished. ‘And I think you feel the same way.’
I stare at him, my heart in my throat. Everything about his statement is flooding my body, but my own defensive mechanisms are there too, reminding me why I keep my distance, why I’m usually so careful.
But what’s the point? I’ve already lost myself to Beau. I can’t fight that. At least, not to myself.
‘Say something.’
‘I don’t know what to say,’ I whisper, completely honestly.
‘Tell me you miss me.’
That part’s easy to admit. ‘I miss you.’
He nods slowly, his jaw clenched. ‘Tell me you want to be with me.’
I open my mouth to repeat it, because it’s true, but reality punches me in the gut. ‘How?’ I whisper instead, tears forming in my eyes. ‘How does that even work?’
A muscle jerks in his jaw, as he stares right back. ‘We make it work.’
‘I live here, you live—everywhere.’
‘That’s just excuses.’
‘No, it’s a perfectly valid consideration.’
He drags a hand over his jaw. ‘You’re scared.’
I look away, toward the street.
‘I hurt you, and you’re scared. You’re scared you’re gonna get hurt, like with Kirk.’
‘Kirk,’ I shake my head in harsh denial, ‘was nothing to how I felt in Phoenix.’
