“I can’t shift at will.”
Cassius curls his lip. “Still?”
“I have shifted before when I’m upset or afraid, but I can’t just do it willy-nilly. I’ve been practicing, but I’ve never been able to pull myself apart.”
“That poses a challenge.” He studies me for a beat. “Our plan, then, is this. You will walk in that direction—” he points east “—until you reach the edge of the forest. Wait there. I’ll meet you when it’s done.”
I agree, and he twists into shadow and is gone. Technically, I could ride Phantom to the edge of the forest, but I opt to walk. This valley is the most peaceful place I’ve ever been. Even the cliffs beside Harcourt Manor harbored the sound of the rushing river below, but here, there is only the occasional skittering animal and the flutter of insect wings.
What will happen to the children once the curse is lifted, darling? Phantom asks in my grandmother’s voice, the words sounding abnormally loud inside my head.
We don’t know, I answer honestly.Cassius is going to add the antidote to their water supply.We have no idea when the children will drink it. And once they do, they will likely be incapacitated for some time. The potion might make them ill. I slept for days after I took it. But this version is different. Catarina used my blood as a catalyst. We hope it will ease the transition. But if it doesn’t, well…
You want to cure them, but you also want to make sure they can’t be used in battle.
If they’re sick enough, they can’t be infected again. Nevina will have to heal them before she can drug them, and she’ll be too busy fighting the resistance to have time for that.
But what if the children don’t survive?
I rub the sudden ache in my chest and fight back the tears that threaten to fall every time I think of this.We have to have faith that they will. It’s in Thanesia’s hands. There’s no other way.
I reach the edge of the forest soon after and look out across the distance at the tents, which, according to our spies, have been set up to house the children. The conditions are deplorable. Even at a distance, I can smell the foul odor of unwashed bodies, fecal matter, and rotting food. My stomach clenches.
I can hear what you’re thinking, Eloise, and it’s a bad idea. You told Damien you wouldn’t take unnecessary risks.
I try to push the thought out of my head, but no child deserves to live like this.I can’t stand the thought of them suffering there. I am the key. Perhaps I could break the ward without detection, draw the symbol inside the tent, and pass thechildren into the Borderlands where they could be reunited with their parents.
While they suffer the effects of the detox? While their parents are under attack by the enemy?
I could pass them to Harcourt through the underworld. Ren is a nurse. She could care for them.
And then you’d be drained and unable to defend Damien when he needs you.
I could…
Wait for Cassius as planned. If you get yourself captured, darling, before the war has even begun, you will jeopardize more lives than your own.
But I can’t just leave them there! They’re only children. What kind of monster leaves children in a filthy tent to suffer?A hot tear cuts down my cheek.
You would allow your selfish need to relieve your guilt and sadness in this moment to ultimately damn every one of those children to death?
I turn to stare at Phantom, who has manifested beside me, their dragon head glistening white in the moonlight.You are the queen of Tenebris, Eloise. All of Tenebris. Not just these children. If you are captured now, you will undercut all of Damien’s hard-won plans. You will put the lives of every warrior you brought here from Earth, including Cassius, in more danger. And you will distract Damien from becoming the king he was meant to be. And for what?
I scoff and gesture toward the tents. To save the children.
You won’t save the children. You’ll simply prolong their suffering.
The truth of Phantom’s words lands like an arrow inmy heart.What type of person knows what’s going on in those tents and does nothing?
No one is here to judge you, Eloise, but we believe a person who is strong enough to delay immediate gratification in order to achieve a greater reward is a conscientious adult.
That’s not?—
You said it yourself. Curing the children but leaving them is the logical thing to do, the thing that will save the most lives. They are shades. They will most likely survive. But it is just as important that you survive to fight another day. Choose the battles that are most worth winning, my dear. Fight not only to save these children today but to change this world so they will grow up in a place where they will never have to face this again.
I hate it when you’re right.I swipe my tears from my cheeks.
Oh darling, if you only knew how much we don’t want to be right. We—generations of your ancestors—only want you to see that the darkness inside you is neither good nor bad. Your heart, now made of shadows, wants to do what’s right. You want to bring goodness to this place where light kills, where innocence is weaponized, where beauty masks a venomous poison. This is not Earth, and you are no longer human. We only wish for you to see that the shadow in you is your power. Your ability to wait can change this world. Like a spider in her web, wait and strike when it matters most. We wish not to be right but to help you understand that the only way to do good in this world is to lead and to rule, and that means putting your faith in the people who fight for you.
