“You’re making a show of yourself, that’s what’s going on. And as you can see from that display of assholeness, it’s impacting my life now, too.”
She held up a hand to stop him from speaking before taking a sip of her still hot coffee. She hadn’t yet consumed enough caffeine to deal with her brother’s bullshit. After a long sip, she smacked her lips and gestured for him to continue. “What are you talking about?”
“I’m talking about you dating brothers.”
Her stomach dropped.
“Or best friends, or whatever the hell you’re doing with the Murphy brothers.”
Then her jaw dropped. “They… tattled to you?”
“Doesn’t matter how I know, Molly. That’s not what the problem is.”
Something twisted in her gut. “You’re saying my vagina is the problem? My sexuality?” Her voice kicked up a notch as she spoke, and Will winced.
“Keep your goddamn voice down.” He groaned into his palm.
“If you were afraid of people hearing about what I do with my body, then you should have thought about that before dragging me to a public place to chastise me for enjoying sex.”
Johnny walked past again, raising his cup at them both before leaving, but Finn hadn’t stepped out yet. He was still there. And while she couldn’t see where he was, she felt his presence.
“I have no problem with you enjoying sex, Molly.” Will sighed and sipped his drink. “Not that it would make a difference if I did.” He snorted. “I want you to be safe. I want you to be careful. I want you to…”
Her face creased as she reacted to his words. Frown deepening, nostrils flaring, eyes growing wide, she stopped him again before she hurled her beloved nectar of the gods at his freakin’ face.
“I don’t care what you want, Will.” She totally did, but she’d had it with the slut-shaming. “My body, my choice – remember? And unfortunately for you, you don’t get a say in what I do, or with whom. How about you worry about who you put your own dick in and worry less about who’s putting—”
“Don’t finish that sentence. Molly.” He sighed again. He’d perfected the disappointed dad sigh already. God help his future children. “I don’t want you to get hurt. Or worse…” He cast his eyes down to the mug on the table. “What if the Murphy brothers weren’t such nice guys and tried to do something to you for playing them?”
“Hurt me how? Like rape me?”
He flinched at the word. Good. She wasn’t going to sit back and take such patriarchal bullshit from someone she thought was raised to know better.
“You think they would hurt me because I gave them a good time, didn’t kiss and tell, and didn’t want anything more than a one-time deal? That makes total sense. So they were pissed I didn’t tell him I was seeing his best friend. You don’t see me getting pissed that they didn’t tell me who else they slept with. Such fragile male egos. One night stands, Will. That’s all they were. I wasn’t in a relationship with them and I didn’t owe them anything, either. So I fucked a guy and his best friend – it wasn’t the first and it won’t be the last. Sometimes I even do them at the same damn time. But that’s all it was, good fucks.”
He cringed every time she dropped the F-bomb, but she wasn’t slowing down. Her skin burned. Who the hell did he think he was? And how delusional did he have to be to think he could somehow control her body just because her behavior embarrassed him? She wasn’t embarrassed by her own behavior. Was it smart to fool around with a guy and his best friend? Probably not. Was it a crime? No. Did it make her a bad person? Also no.
She took one last drink of her coffee and stood. Something snapped in her chest, clawing at her insides to break free and smack her brother senseless. “I’m going to say this once and once only. Rapists cause rape. Not women who sleep with a guy and his best friend. And if that’s what they’d jump to because I banged them both, then the problem is more them than me, don’t you think?”
His chocolate brown eyes burned into her. “Have you finished up there on your soapbox, Molly?”
She nodded but didn’t sit. A few people turned in their seats or cast glances over their shoulders, but she didn’t care.
“I wasn’t talking about them…” He dropped his voice to a whisper. “Raping you. They’re good guys. I mean, that’s not to say other guys out there wouldn’t think twice about doing something like that, but that wasn’t my point. Your reputation is suffering because of your actions. Have you no shame?” Mr. By-The-Book was Dad up and down. But they both knew he wasn’t talking about her reputation.
Her insides trembled. The irony of all ironies was that if he’d just lifted the ban on her being able to get closer to his teammates… one, very specific teammate, she probably wouldn’t have slept with anyone other than Finn O’Brien for years. Years. She waited for the familiar clench of her insides at the idea of being committed to one person for so long, but it never came. Interesting. She’d unpack that later, but for the time being, she had some righteous indignation to unload on her brother instead.
“You mean your reputation, William. Not mine, right? That’s what this is really about. It’s not that I’m enjoying my time at college, it’s not that I’m embracing my sexuality and loving my body… It’s that it looks bad for you if your sister is deemed a slut by the college proletariat, right?”
His features darkened but he didn’t answer and wouldn’t meet her gaze. Coward.
“Well, my whore self has better things to do than to sit here and be slut shamed by my own fucking brother.” She pulled out her wallet and dropped a five dollar bill on the table next to his hand. “It’s been real.”
Once she was outside, she didn’t stop. She kept walking until she slammed into her Interactive and Data Journalism professor. “Professor Alvarado. I’m so sorry, I didn’t see you.” She sniffed and wiped her wet cheeks with the back of her hand.
“That’s what happens when your vision is blurry, Molly.” He cupped her elbow and led her to the side of the path, out of the way of people traffic. “Do you want to talk about it?”
My brother thinks I’m a slut and I have four-letter-feelings for his best friend.
