“I had no idea you weren’t happy, Clare. None. I mean, I’m not sure what I could have done. I wasn’t even sure if you loved me back, but I should have tried. I should have stood in front of you and told you I was back. If nothing else I should have been your best friend and not left you alone during the hardest time of your life. I’m so sorry.”
Tears trickled down his beautiful face. He’d carried this with him for as long as she’d carried her betrayal and abandonment when he never came back. The weight of regret and guilt was a heavy load to bear.
Wait. He loved her?
Her head snapped up to his, his hazel eyes dark and still watery. “You l-loved me?”
He grunted, his shoulders sagged and his body deflated. “Only since the day you kicked my shin in grade school.”
He loved her.
He came back.
But he’d also left again. He’d seen her at work, carrying Cat, and instead of talking to her about it, he’d fled. Could she hold it against him? What would she have done? What would any other teenage boy have done?
Considering Catriona’s father fled the minute she told him she was pregnant, she shouldn’t be too surprised that Eli freaked out, too.
He loved her. Did he still love her?
No matter which way her brain churned through everything he’d said, that was the thing she kept coming back to. He’d said it so matter of fact, so sure, so easy. Even though he’d left her when she’d needed him, it was because he’d believed she was happy, because he was putting her happiness with her husband first.
If her heart swelled any bigger, her chest would burst.
His eyes flicked back and forth between hers, like he was looking for something, anything to tell him where she was at, but couldn’t find it.
He loved her enough to leave her.
What the hell did she do with that?
“I don’t know what you’re thinking.” His voice cracked as he spoke.
Tears still trickled down her face. She sniffed, wiping her nose with the heel of her hand. “Honestly? I’m thinking that I’ve been hopping from bad relationship to bad relationship, and maybe the right person for me was the one I kicked when I was little. That’s so fucking tragic.”
Shuddering sobs raked through her body as he held her again.
“I’m so sorry, Clare. If I could go back, I’d be there for you. I’d… I dunno, rub your swollen feet, and feed you ice cream or whatever you do with pregnant women.”
She giggled against his shoulder.
“I can’t change the past, we both know that. And you have two beautiful, smart, funny, and kind kids from the journey you took. But I really would like to be a part of your future if you’ll let me. Because no matter how far away I ran, I couldn’t outrun the fact that I love you.”
He pulled her back from his shoulder and gave her a watery smile. “Always have. Always will.”
Her stomach fluttered. He still loved her.
“Now?”
He nodded. “Now. Tomorrow. Always.” Cupping her face, he guided her lips to his, and kissed her so tenderly it hurt her very soul. Sure, they couldn’t change the past, and considering everything she’d gotten from it, she wouldn’t, even if she could. But they could build a future, together, at last.
Her stomach flipped. Not everyone got a second chance with their childhood sweetheart. As he kissed her, she slid her arms tighter around his neck and vowed to herself that she wouldn’t let either of them fuck it up again.
***
“This is so freakin’ cool!” Mason bounded up into the carriage with an energy Clare wished she possessed.
“Language, Mason.”
“I only said freakin’, Mom. Not the F-word you always use.”
