Twisting the strap of her purse in her lap, her knee bounced as they approached a red light. They needed to hurry the fuck up, her baby needed her. And if she was honest with herself, she also needed reassurance that he needed her too, or at least that he was still speaking to her after she’d abandoned him when he needed her.
What kind of mother went off and had a blast drinking wine and cooking chocolate fucking cake while her kiddo was in pain in the hospital? As she scrolled through her messages, she paused her thumb on the screen—Cat mentioned in one of her texts that Mason might even need surgery.
Clare’s stomach sloshed, and she grimaced. Surgery. Her littlest baby. Double fuck.
Side eyeing Elliott, she felt sick. How did some people have it all? The dating, the career, the kids… How did they have everything and yet not fuck up anything?
If she hadn’t been on the stupid date with Eli, she would have been there for the first call. Hell, if she hadn’t been dating Elliott at all, Mason might never have moved in with his dad either.
“Say what you’re thinking, Clare.” His jaw ticked as the light turned from red to green and he pulled out into traffic.
“I should have been there for him. If I wasn’t cooking with you...”
“You’re blaming me for Mason hurting himself?” He shook his head, rubbing the back of his neck with one hand.
“No. I…”
He pulled into the hospital parking lot, letting the car idle at the entrance. “You are. You’re blaming me, us, this.” Gripping the steering wheel with both hands, he wouldn’t look at her. “You’re serious right now?”
She opened her mouth but no words came out. She wasn’t blaminghimfor Mason getting hurt, not exactly anyway, but shewasblaming their relationship on…something.
“We should just call time before we go any further and our lives get any more entwined,” he said.
It hit her like a sucker punch to the gut. Before…what? They’d been in and out of each other’s lives for as long as she could remember. They were already fucking entwined. He’d had his dick inside her, for Christ’s sake, there wasn’t much more entwining two people could do.
“Elliott, please…don’t do this. Let’s calm down and talk about it first.” She stretched out to touch his forearm but he yanked it out of reach. “We’re both worked up. We just need to ride the wave.”
“No, Clare. You need to go be with your family.” He pushed the unlock button on the inside of his door. “And since you’re convinced I’ve destroyed your family and would make a sorry excuse for a stepfather, let’s just end it now and be done with it, okay?”
He wouldn’t look at her, he wouldn’t let her touch him, and his words rattled around her ribcage leaving slashes on her heart. He wasn’t wrong, not entirely. She needed to go be there for Mason, she didn’t have time to deal with their collapsing relationship.
More than that, on some level she was holding him,themto task for the destruction of her home life. Maybe it would be best if they parted ways. Maybe there was a reason he’d left her all those years ago. Maybe there was a reason he was leaving her now.
Maybe they just weren’t meant to be together.
Without a word, she slid from the car and closed the door with a soft thud. She had no real idea how she found herself standing watching the taillights on the back of Elliott Swift’s car as he pulled out of the hospital and drove away. But she knew one thing—it tore her up every bit as much as it had done when they were teenagers. More so, even.
Eventually, she pulled herself from standing curb side and turned to walk into the hospital. Were they really over? Would he just need some time to calm down?
He’d been going through his own shit storm too, that had to be contributing to his emotions, but were they really done?
Her phone rang with another voicemail as she made her way into the hospital. It was her boss telling her that the candidate who had been selected for the manager’s position at the office couldn’t accept it, and since she’d placed second in the process, he was asking if she wanted it.
The man of her dreams had left her and driven away for the second time in her life, and she was finally being offered the job she’d wanted for years but couldn’t take.
The universe sure had a fucked up way of taking care of business.
“Where the fuck have you been?” The Sperm Donor grabbed her arm and dragged her around the corner out of earshot of Mason’s room.
His fingers bit into her skin. Wrenching her arm, she tried to break free from his hold, but couldn’t. “You’re hurting me,” she ground out through clenched teeth. “Let me go before I start screaming.”
When he let her go, she rubbed at her arm. “I didn’t have cell service. I came as soon as I got your messages. How is he?”
He folded his arms and his scowl deepened. “You really think that’s it? That I’m just going to ignore the fact you dropped the ball once again on your maternal duties to our son just to go get your jollies off? Seriously, Clare?”
She held up a hand. “Mason. How is he?”
“You’re fucking lucky I’m letting you even see him.”
