My brows jolt up. “That’s it?”
“That, and if you need me, you know where to find me. You’re probably going to fuck up along the way.” She holds up both hands. “That’s not a reflection of you. We all fuck up, even when it’s not our first relationship. Getting to know someone,reallyknow them, that takes time, patience, and a desire to put your partner before yourself sometimes.”
She pats my chest. “This is so unlike you, Ares. It must be scary as fuck. But from the look in your eyes as you’re staring at her, it’ll be worth it. This is going to be good for you. Be sure you make it good for her too. And don’t let fear freak you out of giving it a fair shot. Just because it’s new, doesn’t mean it’s bad.”
“I’m afraid of casting my darkness onto her. She’s pure sunshine, Hen.”
“Light and dark coexist, Ares. Can’t be one without the other.”
“I’m afraid this will destroy me.” It’s like I’m back in confession with Father Feehan, the fears tumble from my lips as easily as my list of sins when I was a child.
She sighs again. It’s heavier, charged with something I can’t put my finger on, and her eyes turn sad as she places her hands on my shoulders. “It wouldn’t be love if it didn’t.” She hugs me. “Te amo, hermanito.”
Then she smacks me. “Get the fuck out of here before someone calls the cops on the creepy stalker guy humping cars in the parking lot.”
Aaaaaand she’s back. I flip her off.
“And don’t let Abuelita find out about her unless you’re the real deal. She’ll be buying her wedding outfit before you finish telling her you have a new girlfriend.”
I give her a two fingered salute and head back to my car. I can’t help sitting at the wheel for a couple minutes, staring at my girl through the window.
Athena’s right. Eloise must be something really special for me to hang up my playboy hat. And she is, I feel it in the flicker in my chest when I see her, the sense of calm that settles on me when she’s in my space. There’s something here. I need to find the cojones to find it and help it grow.
CHAPTER18
Eloise
“No.”
“But Ellie-Bellie…” Tori flutters her eyes at me. “You said we should start doing things together. Fun things. Friend things. Things that aren’t…” She taps the books in front of her on my dining room table.
We study together at my house a lot—it’s become part of our routine. As much as we love Bitches Brew, it can get a bit distracting, and we end up drinking too much hot chocolate—and although Tori insists there’s no such thing, it’s not great for the bank balance.
We tried to study at Tori’s once, but with the tiny hurricane blasting through the room demanding every ounce of his mama’s attention, well, that didn’t go so well. Even with her mom helping out, it’s like her kid could sense she was there and knew she was doing something boring like furthering her education.
The look on his little face was definitely calling her out. Like, how dare she have the audacity to pay attention to her homework when there were far more important things to be doing, like watching Ryder and thePaw Patrolpups getting up to no good.
No amount of snacks could keep him from trying to “help” us study, and no amount of Chickaletta on screen could distract him from the fact that we were there.
“No.” I say it firmer, harder, mustering all the resolve I have, adding a scowl for good measure.
“Okay, if you can tell me three reasons why we shouldn’t go to the strip club to watch Ares dance, then we won’t go.” She holds out a thumb to me, clearly ready to count my reasons.
I saw a video of Ares dancing on the internet the night I looked him up. I only clicked one of the links, but there are… let’s say a lot. Alotof clips of him stripping, pole dancing, partying hard, playing hockey. He has a very strong social media presence that he doesn’t seem to contribute much to himself. He doesn’t need to.
One of the social media sites even has an Ares de la Peña tribute page, posting stories and pictures about him pretty regularly. I also saw a comment from someone suggesting he should get his own paid subscription service to charge people a monthly fee to watch him dance online from the privacy of their own homes. And to get… other benefits. Like dirty photos.
I’m not quite sure how I feel about that.
“Eloise?” Victoria snaps her fingers in front of my face. She’s always Victoria when she’s being, well, Victoria. “Are you in there?” She knocks on my forehead. “Or did I lose you to Ares’s abs again?”
She’s not going to let it go. In fact, she seems to think we should go to Protocol right now on the off chance that Ares is dancing tonight. My stomach flips. I’ve gone from hungry to nauseous in under a second.
My stomach is gripped in a vise and no amount of rubbing it under my sweater is making it better.
Victoria holds up three fingers. “Come on. Gimme three.”
“Because it’s a strip club.” I bite out the words under my breath. No one else can hear me, but even saying them out loud at all feels… dirty.
