Victoria answers for me. “Thanks, Apollo.” Gratitude sparkles in her eyes.
When he leaves, I turn to Mom. “Have you been here all night?”
She shakes her head. “No, sweetheart. We had Wyatt last night.” She grins so wide it’s hard not to smile with her. “Tori’s mom took him this morning so we could come and sitwith you. Dad’s out in the waiting room with your teammates.”
As though she summoned him, Dad walks through the door. He drags Apollo’s chair across the room and plants it next to Mayrik before picking up her hand.
“By all accounts you’ve been keeping the severity of things from us, Raphael.” Mom’s eyes bore into me from her seat.
Victoria shifts her weight. “I should take a walk.”
Subtle as ever, but I’m not going to get through this conversation without her right here by my side. Clasping her hand, I shake my head. “Stay. Please.”
She flits her gaze to my parents before settling back into her seat. “Okay. But you know I’m not going to keep my mouth shut.”
“It’s one of the many reasons why I love you.”
She smiles a tearful smile, sniffing. “Just one.”
Dad leans forward and pats my hand. “Why have you been keeping things from us? What’s going on?”
My head’s thumping, but before I can say a word to my parents, a doctor and nurse come in to run some checks and ask some questions. Apollo brings in a fresh jug of water, a cup with a bendy straw, and another cup filled with ice chips.
When they all leave again, I take a long, slow drink before rolling onto my side. “I didn’t want to disappoint you.” My voice breaks as I speak, splinters of grief finding their way into my words. I really didn’t want to disappoint my parents.
“But playing pro hockey isn’t something that’s likely to happen for me.” It’s the most painful thing I’ve ever admitted to myself, but it’s also true. No team’s going to want to touch me. I’m a ticking time bomb. The more hits I take, the more concussions I get, it’s just a matter of time before it starts to truly impact my game on the ice.
“I tried to soldier on, push through, but once the school year’s up, I need to be done.”
Victoria bursts to her feet with a grunt of displeasure.
“What is it, Firecracker?”
She shakes her head, rolling her lips like words are fizzling on her tongue, and she’s trying to keep them all inside.
“That sounds like a good plan, Raffi.” Mom sniffs.
Victoria smacks her thigh.
“We have only ever wanted you happy and healthy. If hockey isn’t bringing you joy, or if it’s risking your life and health, then of course you should stop playing.” Mom strokes the back of my hand. “I’m sorry you ever thought we were pressuring you to do something more, something you might not have wanted to do.” She gives a shaky glance to Dad. “I thought playing in the NHL is what you wanted, it’s what you’ve always wanted to do since you were a little boy.”
She must be reading between the lines, I’ve never told her that I felt pressure from them. I guess moms always know.
“Mayrik’s right, Raffi. If you’d spoken up sooner, or if we’d known the extent of the symptoms you were experiencing, we’d have steered you in another direction. Why didn’t you tell us?”
“We can’t afford college without my scholarship. I need to play to finish my degree.”
Their faces fall.
“We’d have found another way. Student loans, a bank loan, something. Something easier than risking yourself every time you step out on the ice.” Mayrik’s voice is softer, her eyes sad.
“I can’t stand here and listen to you talk about going back on the ice for the rest of the season, Raffi.” Victoria’s voice quivers with either fear, sadness, or rage, I’m not sure which.
“There are only a few months of both school and the season left, Victoria. It’ll be over soon.” As the words come out of my mouth I hear how I’m justifying risking my life to the mother of my son and the woman I want to marry. It’s not going to land well.
As expected, it doesn’t. Her jaw drops, closes, and drops again, then she swings her arms like she’s dealing with a complete idiot.
“Itwillbe over fucking soon if you smack your head again and end up dead.” She waves a hand at me. “And before you tell me it’s unlikely, or it never happens, it happened last night. While your face was bouncing off the plexi glass in our rink, a player in the UK passed away from an injury sustained on the ice.” Tears trickle down her face as her words gain speed.
