She smiles, rolls her eyes, and puts the prints in a box. “I might even let you.” She winks at me.
“What did you think you were going to do?”
She levels me with That Look. “Taking your life into your hands by not dropping it, Shaw.”
“Maybe.” I slide my hands around her waist, pulling her close to me. If we’re chest to chest and she takes a swing she’ll struggle to land a hit.
“What’s that smirk for?”
“If you’re standing a couple feet away and decide to clobber me you’ll have better range to make it hurt.”
She giggles before dotting kisses along my jaw. “If I wanted to hurt you, I could. Even from here.” She lifts her knee like she’s sending a warning shot. “But I don’t. We’ve both been hurt enough.” She kisses me. It’s soft, tender, and so full of emotion a lump forms in my throat. “It’s us against the world.”
“Damn straight.” I brush my nose against her. “Tell me what you wanted to do.”
She’s suddenly very interested in my chin. “When we met I wanted to be a paralegal. When I got pregnant… It’s a lot. Raising a kid alone, even with Mom, I just couldn’t. So I changed to something more hands-on, more instant in terms of income, something flexible I could do while raising Wyatt.”
Regret coats her every word.
“But…”
She sighs. “But I sometimes wonder what if, you know? What if I really loved being a paralegal? What if I went a step further and studied to be a lawyer? What if? What if…? So many what ifs.”
“Why don’t you pivot? Study law instead?”
She laughs. “Raffi, I’m Wyatt’s mom. I can’t do a billion years in college, and be there for him in the way I need to. It’s just not possible.” She pulls away to turn, but I grab her and bring her back to me.
“We’re going to talk about this, over and over until you realize you’re not an island anymore. YouareWyatt’s mom, that’s true. And you’re the best mom he could ever want or need. But you’re not alone. You have support, you just need to lean on it. You have me, my parents, and we have a whole hockey team of friends bewitched by our son. Can you think of one damn thing my teammates wouldn’t move heaven and earth for if Wyatt needed it?”
She snorts. “Nowyou’re okay leaning on your teammates? You’ve had quite the change of heart, mister.” Her brow arches, meaning I’ve lost any ground I had on this one.
“Don’t make the same mistake I did.”
Her brow flinches.
“Don’t be stubborn, either.”
The corner of her lips twitch.
“Please. Think about it. If becoming a paralegal, or at least dipping your toe to see if it’s really what you want, is something you want to do, we’ll make it happen.” I plant a kiss on her forehead. “If we’ve learned anything lately it’s that life’s too short for what ifs. We’ve gotta find our bravery, and make shit happen.”
Sucking in a deep breath, I press on. “Being a mom is a huge part of you, I get that. But that’s not everything you are.”
“Your whole life revolves around Wyatt, Victoria. And I understand why. But what about you?”
Her head cants like she has no idea what language I’m speaking.
“Exactly. You’ve lost yourself.” Another kiss. “Might be time to find yourselfagain.”
“I-I wouldn’t even know where to start.”
When I give her a squeeze, she softens against me. “Oh. I dunno. Applying for a place and a student loan to study to be a paralegal might be a good place to start.”
“Let me think about it.”
In mom-speak that means no. Even I know that one.
“I’m not going to let you let this fade away into obscurity just because you’re afraid.”
