‘I don’t know why either.’ I laughed. ‘You’ve known her long enough to realise she would want to interfere.’
‘Very true. So…what are your thoughts?’
‘Mainly shock, if I’m honest, Mum. You’ve sacrificed so much of your life for this place. You sacrificed so much time with Dad, even when we knew there wasn’t going to be much left.’
She flinched a little and I felt awful. I hadn’t meant it like an accusation. My low mood had made me speak more bluntly than I’d intended. I reached my hand out to her across the bar, but she waved it off, tucking her hair behind her ear.
‘Do you resent that? Do you resent this place?’
I blew out a slow breath. ‘Not anymore, no. I think I can see why you love it now. Seeing the guests happy and knowing that you’ve helped create a good memory for them – that probably feels for you, like it does for me when a student really starts to love playing. When their confidence grows, and it brings them happiness. It makes it worth the months of patiently coaching them through “Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star” for the fiftieth time.’ I smirked.
‘You’re right. Idolove that. It wasn’t the only reason I spent so much time building this place up though. The financial commitment was there already. If I didn’t make it a success we would’ve sunk. Your dad understood that, and he needed to know we would be okay when he was gone. I put everything into this place for us, for you, Beth, because we had to provide for you. There were times after he was gone, when I considered giving it up and living a “normal” life but…regardless of whether we were here or renting a flat and paying off a crippling business loan by working a nine-to-five, your dad…he wasn’t coming back. The most important things that he made me promise him, over and over, were that I would make sure you found something in life that made you happy, and that I would try my hardest to make the hotel work for us, because he knew it was my dream and he didn’t want…’ She swallowed hard and tears sprung to her eyes. ‘He didn’t want our losing him to mean that we would give up on chasing our dreams.’
‘And that’s why you’re thinking of selling, rather than asking me to take on a manager role so you can retire? Because you don’t want me to give up on my music?’
‘Oh my God.’ She sniffed and laughed. ‘That woman. I should have invited her here, shouldn’t I, since she’s clearly as much a part of the family as we are.’ I laughed softly but didn’t say anything, waiting for her to dab at her eyes with a tissue and compose herself. ‘No. I didn’t want to ask you to give up your music…but since you came home, it’s seemed like you already have, so I started to wonder if maybe you would be open to working here permanently? The thing is…I don’t want to sell it. Not yet. But I do realise I need to step back and slow down a little.’ She played with the edge of the tissue, making sure the corners weren’t crumpled and folding it to hide the smears of mascara.
I shifted on my stool, tucking my hands underneath me as I waited for the big question.
‘So, what do you think? Would you like to officially become Assistant Manager at the Everdene Hotel?’
I wanted to say yes because it was perfect really. The stable, secure job I’d been telling myself I needed since I gave up tutoring when I was with Peter. It wouldn’t be boring – Christmas had proved that much – and I cared about the place. I genuinely did now understand how important it was to do the job well, not just to keep the business going, but to contribute to the guests’ enjoyment of a well-earned break. But…I missed teaching, so much. Seeing Callum play at the festival and playing for Nick, inspiring little Holly to take up the piano. Those were the things that lit me up inside. How could I give that up permanently?
I looked at Mum’s face. She was masking her eagerness so well. I knew she didn’t want me to say ‘yes’ unless I really wanted to. If only there was a way to make us both happy…
‘Does it have to be a full-time role?’ I asked. ‘You’ve said about wanting to step back but that doesn’t mean going into full retirement straight away does it?’
‘No.’ Mum cocked her head to the side. ‘No. I’ve still got another decade before I’m retirement age.’ She leaned her arms on the bar opposite me. ‘Are you saying you’d do it, if it was part time?’
I nodded once slowly and then again more definitely. ‘Yes. Yes, exactly. Then I could still tutor in the rest of my time.’
‘You don’t want to give it up then?’
‘No. I thought I had to because I couldn’t do it and hold down a job that would pay me enough to support myself but…if I’m living and working here, I could do it. That is, if you don’t mind having your fully-grown daughter still living at home.’
‘Oh, don’t be daft, Beth, of course I don’t mind. You will always have a home with me.’
I jumped down from my stool and raced around to the other side of the bar to give her a huge hug. As long as I had my mum, I always had someone who loved me unconditionally. There was a little pain in my heart that went along with the gratitude though, as my thoughts strayed to Nick again. Would he make it back to his childhood home to say goodbye?
‘There is one issue with the tutoring though,’ Mum said, squeezing me and moving back. ‘The noise. The guitar is not a problem, you can do that up in our flat but with the piano in the library… the noise does disturb the hotel.’ She wrinkled her nose. ‘I used to get complaints when you were practising when you were a teenager.’
‘I never knew that.’
‘No, well, I wasn’t going to stop you. You played beautifully, it’s just that some guests don’t want to hear the same piece over and over.’
‘I see. I suppose I’ll just have to keep it to the guitar then.’ I tried to keep the note of disappointment out of my voice. I had no right to be disappointed really. This was going to work out better than I had dreamed. I just loved the piano too.
Mum rubbed my arm, because I wasn’t hiding my feelings as well as I hoped. ‘If only there was somewhere else, we could put that piano.’
There wasn’t anywhere else though. Even in here, in the bar, you’d be able to hear it in the communal spaces and I couldn’t use a bedroom; that would be even worse. Our flat was too small for it and getting it up there would be a nightmare. Short of playing it at the end of the garden—
‘Oh! What about if we converted the outhouse into a studio? Is that feasible? It’s far enough away it wouldn’t bother anyone, but it would take some money… I could put my wages towards it while I’m getting the guitar lessons established. What do you think?’ I linked my hands together and pressed them to my mouth as I watched for her reaction.
Her blue eyes darted from side to side as she figured things out in her head and then she smiled. ‘That’s a fantastic idea, Beth.’
‘Yeah? You think it could work?’
‘We’d have to get another shed, but the outhouse is full of junk. We could easily clear fifty per cent of it out.’
