‘What?’ His laugh was nonplussed. ‘Stephen. I just meant that you’re not some hideous fifty-year-old virgin who takes any smile from a woman as a come-on. Who’s said you’re the office bike?’
Everybody.Though having Nick confirm that he thought Georgina was flirting with me did reassure me somewhat. ‘Don’t worry. The heat is probably getting to me.’
‘Sounds to me like you should take a date on this leaving do with you. For protection.’
‘It would certainly help avoid an awkward situation.’ I went beneath some scaffolding and a bookstore caught my eye. ‘Although, I don’t like taking women out under false pretences,’ I added as I pushed the door to the shop open. ‘It feels underhand to ask someone out with an ulterior motive.’ I lowered my voice as I stepped inside. It was cool and quiet, though there were plenty of people browsing the wooden shelving and the tables at the front. There was a small coffee shop at the back too where I’d be able to buy some lunch.
‘You could always be up front – ask them as a favour?’
It was ridiculous how quickly my mind leapt to Noelle.
‘Not Noelle though,’ Nick added, and the image popped like a cartoon bubble.
‘Why would I ask Noelle?’ I bluffed.
‘She’s helping you find your dad, isn’t she?’
Of course. Noelle and Beth had been chatting again. Thank God Iwasn’tdating Noelle; the whisper chain of information between the four of us would have been a nightmare.
‘Yes,’ I said quietly, circling a large oblong table with piles of crime fiction organised in a rainbow pattern according to their covers. ‘I think that’s enough to be beholden to her for isn’t it? On the plus side, that means you can forget any obligation you felt to join me on the search when you come over. It should all be sorted by then.’
‘That’s good.’ He cleared his throat and I heard him shuffling around; a door closing at his end, like he’d shut himself in a room. ‘Actually, when I’m in New York, I was wondering if you could helpmeout with something?’ His voice was oddly hushed.
‘Of course.’
‘I want to go to Tiffany’s. To look for a ring. I was hoping you’d give me your opinion.’
I paused with my hand on the cover of a book with roses dripping black ink like blood. ‘I’m not sure diamonds would suit you.’
‘Fuck off, Stephen,’ he half-laughed. ‘You know I don’t mean for me.’
‘You’re planning to propose to Beth?’
‘Yeah. I’ve been thinking about it for a while.’
I frowned. I wasn’t sure I did want to help him go get a ring for Beth when it seemed too soon. Nick was so like Mum. That’s what people had always said, growing up. How much Nick was like Mum, how much I was like my father… And Mum had obviously got herself in trouble with him. I didn’t want to see that happen with Nick. Admittedly, he was a fair bit older than she’d been and I knew Beth had genuine feelings for him. But if he ran in headlong, wouldn’t he scare her off? I didn’t want him to feel that pain.
‘Nick…please don’t overreact but…you’ve only been together six months.’
He was quiet for a long time and I found myself holding my breath. I wouldn’t have been surprised if he did get defensive, given the fact I’d tried to break them up once.
‘I know. Itisquick,’ he said eventually. ‘And quick might be scary for her. She was engaged before – and we’re not even living together. Although, we spend as much time together as if we were, considering my shift patterns.’
‘It’s not solely about time is it? It’s about finances and sharing the responsibilities of a home and answering to each other’s whereabouts and…many other things I have no concept of, isn’t it?’
‘I suppose,’ he said evenly.
It would’ve been easy for him to throw at me the fact I’d never cohabited with a partner. Never even dated someone past six weeks, let alone six months. But he kept his opinions to himself on that front. Even so, I could feel us dancing close to the edge of the tension I’d caused at Christmas. That was the last thing I wanted.
‘I still want to ask her though. She’s just…she’s it. I’m sure of it. Y’know?’
No. I didn’t know. I started walking around again as a middle-aged man was invading my personal space to see the books I was standing next to.
‘Well, if that’s the case, it can wait a little longer. Until you’re certain that she’s ready too. You’re not going to lose her because you haven’t offered her a commitment. There’s no hurry.’
‘It feels like a hurry. Now I’ve decided, it’s this constant pressure sitting on my chest.’
‘Like a heart attack?’ I asked grimly.
