‘Hi, Mum,’ Ash said, just getting to the call before it switched to voicemail.
‘Ashleigh, my love, I didn’t think you were going to answer.’
‘I’ve only just started my lunch break.’
‘Oh, what’s the job?’
Her mum knew. Ash had told her a month ago. ‘You know, the hospitality gig at the Baxters’ farm. The same one I do every Christmas.’
‘Oh, that’s right.’ Her mother’s laughter pealed down the phone at her. ‘So sweet. You dress up as an elf don’t you? Do they give you little prosthetic ears? Send me a photo, please. I can show the rest of the cast. I bet they’d find it adorable – you know how they go gaga for Christmas over here.’
‘No way. I’m not putting this out there on a digital record.’
‘It’s just a part. You’re paying your dues, sweetness. All actors have these embarrassing stories tucked away. Perfect to make you seem more relatable once you become famous.’
Ash caught a glimpse of her face in her wing mirror. Her mouth was screwed up tight like a toddler being threatened with a spoonful of peas. She blinked and made a conscious effort to unclench.
Thatwassomething Ash hadn’t told her mother. She wasn’t sure when it had happened, but at some point over the last couple of years Ash had realised she had no desire to keep chasing acting jobs. But why tell her mother when she couldn’t say what she wanted to do instead? She was unqualified and directionless. Her mum would either dismiss it as a wobble or…well, Ash wasn’t sure how she would take it. Probably as an insult to her own choices – she had an amazing knack of making everything about her.
‘Regardless, it’s still a “no” to the photograph. You can see me in my full glory when you come over.’ Ash attempted to change the subject.
‘You’ll certainly be the most festive thing inthathouse. I don’t know how you can stand it, unless she’s indoctrinated you into her Scrooge-like ways.’
‘She’ being Nan and ‘thathouse’, the house her mother had grown up in. The house where she’d dumped Ash, aged eleven, before she went to LA.
‘Did you see my big scene with Hugo? It should have aired this week for you,’ she continued without leaving a space for Ash to respond.
So, she wasn’t going to say any more about the fact she was supposed to be visiting for Christmas? Ash willed herself not to read too much into it. Her mum had said she’d be coming over in less than two weeks once her part of filming in the soap opera she starred in wrapped up for the year but as yet hadn’t made any noises about which flight she’d booked.
‘No. I haven’t had a chance yet,’ Ash admitted. ‘Nan’s recorded it though. I’ll catch up with it this weekend probably.’
‘Probably? Ashleigh, what’s the matter? Does my performance bore you? Have you noticed something lacking recently? You used to follow my storylines like an absolute fanatic.’
That’s because it was the only time I got to see you. Not that she saw her any more these days – just occasional visits when she’d fly in from the States with her expensive-smelling hair, and a bunch of gifts that gave away the fact she didn’t really know who her daughter was at all.
‘It’s not really my taste now,’ Ash ventured.
There was a silence on the line.
‘What do you like then? Those ghastly crime dramas that your nan watches all the time?’
‘Sometimes.’ Ash took a deep, calming breath. ‘It doesn’t mean I don’t think you’re still the best thing in that show, Mum.’ And that wasn’t a lie. Her mother was very entertaining and made it bearable, although mainly because she was such a cartoon villain, it was hilarious.
‘Well, thank you.’ Here was the bruised dignity. ‘I shan’t take up any more of your time, Ashleigh. I’m sure you’re eager to get back to being an elf. Hopefully, next year you’ll finally get your big break. Can’t leave it too much longer. You’ll be thirty soon. The wrinkles begin creeping in then and your metabolism will slow down.’
God, Ash reallyhadupset her. Ash wasn’t going to be thirty for another three years and it was hardly ancient anyway. ‘I’ll let you know what I think of the big showdown with Hugo once I’ve watched it.’ Ash tried to repair the damage her honesty had done to their fragile relationship. Whenever it was time for a conversation to end, she felt a sudden grip of panic in her chest, like she was about to be torn away from a life raft. Or maybe like her mother was? She didn’t know. The feeling didn’t make sense anyway.
‘Well, I look forward to your expert opinion.’
They said goodbye and Ash threw her phone onto the passenger seat, leaning back with her hand on her forehead. Crap. She’d have to call her in a day or two, see if her feelings were still hurt. Her mother could dine out on this for weeks. Would she cancel her trip because of it? It’d been eighteen months since she last saw her. Surely she wouldn’t?
Ash grabbed her snack bar and bag of crisps from inside her glove box and looked at it with less than even her usual enthusiasm when it came to food. Sighing, she took the keys out of the ignition, put her phone back in the glove box and grabbed the voucher for the café. As she jogged across the parking lot to go in through the front of the farm shop, she spotted Selina browsing.
‘Selina. I changed my mind, fancied something hot.’
The other girl’s face lit up and Ash tried to ignore the cynic inside her that said this was all going to be a waste of time. People always moved on and left her behind them.
