‘It’s very hard not to though.’
‘That’s true enough.’ She sighed and opened her mouth and then shut it again.
‘Go on. Say what you’re thinking. Please?’
‘Is this the reason you’re finding it hard to say “no” to your dad too?’ Her voice was soft. ‘Because he said, “I told you so” about your wife and you’re worried about him being right again?’
Olivier wrapped his arms around his chest. ‘I suppose so. I suppose the thing I want to do and the thing that feels sensible aren’t in alignment again and I’m…scared of making a mistake.’
Her blue eyes landed on his face, so clear despite the late hour and the amount of alcohol the women had all consumed. ‘You’re obviously sick of him bossing you around but…I can appreciate that fear.’
‘What is it you want that doesn’t feel sensible?’ he dared himself to ask.
‘You.’
His heart thudded heavily in his chest. She wanted him. That was amazing. But it didn’t feel like a wise choice to her. Not so great. He hated that this couldn’t be simpler and that he couldn’t just soothe away all her misgivings, because that wouldn’t have been honest, and it wouldn’t have been fair. He crossed the kitchen floor to crouch down in front of her chair. ‘You’re worried because I live in Paris and you live here?’
She nodded. ‘I don’t have a great track record with long-distance relationships.’
‘What are we going to do then? I don’t want to cause you any pain, Ashleigh.’
‘I truly believe that.’ She reached over the back of the chair and touched his face. ‘But maybe, like you and your ex, we’re not quite on the same page. And you wouldn’t be able to help yourself.’
‘What do you mean? Not on the same page?’ Did she think that he didn’t care for her as much as she did for him? According to her grandmere, she’d had feelings for him when they were teenagers. Admittedly, it was probably no more than a crush, but that didn’t mean it was silly. He’d always had them for her too. He was about to tell her as much when she bit her lip and shook her head.
‘We should stop having this conversation. I’m going to say something I’ll be sooo embarrassed about tomorrow if I’m not careful.’
He gave her a rueful smile. ‘I’m sorry. You’re right, it’s unfair of me to have this kind of conversation with you when you are completely…what’s the expression? Trolleyed.’
She laughed. ‘On that note, I’m going to wheel myself home.’
He let go of her hand and stood up, seeing her to the door and across to her side of the wall. One day she might stay on his side, or he might stay on hers, but it was going to be up to her.
