And yes, of course she wanted him to join her. That was crazy really, because it wouldn’t be a given with anyone else. She’d have had to weigh it up with anyone else – but everything in her said “yes” before she had a chance to overthink it. The thoughts did come. Of course they did. The unhelpful parts of her brain that wondered if he was just taking pity on her, or whether it was wise to say yes, because she’d probably run out of energy to converse like a semi-normal person.
But he knew she could be like that, didn’t he? Or even if he didn’t – she could explain it to him, and he already had the context and had shown her it didn’t bother him. Maybe this was an opportunity to grab at something with the potential to become a shiny memory? That time when Rowan chose to leave a party and sit with her on the beach, watching the sunset.
Lila: Company would be nice. A small amount I mean. Don’t bring the whole party out here, please.
Rowan: Lol, no. That wasn’t the plan. You’re on the beach then?
Lila: Yes. Directly opposite the apartment, right down by the sea.
Rowan: I’ll see you soon. X
X.He’d put akiss.
Don’t overthink it.Lila looked down at herself and realised she was helplessly wrinkled and covered in sand. Her bare feet were burrowed into the damp sand and her hair was a mess. But he was on his way, so there was nothing much she could do about it.
He was on his way.
Rowan
Rowan couldn’t get out of the party quick enough. He didn’t even make an excuse about why he had to leave. He’d already spoken to Ruth, to reassure her that if she wanted to press charges, he would be a witness, and so he could see for himself that she was okay. Those were the only reasons he’d let Jonathan convince him to come. Even though he was relieved that the producers had swung the right way, he still wasn’t in the mood to party. There was too much mixed up in his head.
He knew that it wasn’t a great idea to go out and meet Lila on the beach where they might be spotted, given…well, everything. But especially his conversation with Gerrard earlier. It was one thing Rowan saying he didn’t want to actively take part in the stupid relationship charade with Cassandra anymore – he’d meant that – but he probably shouldn’t go out of his way to put himself in situations that would provoke gossip.
Equally though, if this news about Stan Gillian was going to call paparazzi to Sicily to try and catch photos of him to put in their speculating stories, he doubted they would have arrived and figured out where they were filming and living already. And the few tourists and locals who were down on the beach were beginning to pack up and leave.
God, he hated having to think like this. Like he was an undercover agent in his own life.
But the jury was still out on how this whole incident was going to play out in the media and affect his prospects with Sebastian Hayward. He owed it to his family to at least exercise some damage control, like Gerrard had said, and not make things even worse.
He wouldn’t stay long. He just wanted to make sure she was okay. She’d looked so trapped when he glimpsed her earlier from across the room. She hadn’t said it specifically when she told him about her social anxiety, but he was guessing overcrowded parties weren’t something she was comfortable with. He didn’t want to think of her drinking too much to cope again.
Also…he wanted to be around her when he didn’t want to be around anyone else.
She was easy to spot, sitting right by the water, arms wrapped around her knees. It was still mild even though the sun was going down and the top she was wearing had a different neckline to the usual T-shirts she wore for work. He could see where she was catching the sun on her arms and neck, and he wanted to trace the lines with his finger. Press a kiss to her shoulder, right next to the thin strap.
Not the best move on a day like today though.
Oranyday. Christ, maybe therewassomething wrong with him? Maybe Gerrard was right, and he was self-destructive and it really shouldn’t be this hard for him to just behave the way he was supposed to. He scrubbed a hand down his face to try and banish all thoughts about it as he drew level with her.
‘Hi,’ he said softly.
She tilted her head back to look up at him and gave him a wide smile that cut a path through the tangles in his brain. ‘Hey. Weren’t you enjoying the party?’ she asked as he sat down beside her, mirroring her posture, with his knees pulled up, arms hooked around them.
‘No. I’m not in the mood.’
‘Me neither…’ She hesitated and then added, ‘I’m rarely in the mood for parties to be honest. So many people.’
‘I wondered if that was the case,’ he admitted. ‘And there is averyintense vibe at that party.’
‘I think it’s catharsis for everyone. Areyouokay? You’ve had a hard day too.’
‘Nothing happened to me. I’m fine.’
‘Really? You don’t look fine.’ She blushed. ‘I mean, not that you look bad in any way. You look fit and well and as good as ever…’ She broke off to clear her throat, her blush deepening from pink to red across her cheeks. ‘I just meant, your body. Language. Body language.’ She shut her eyes and dropped her forehead against her arm.
Heat rushed over him. Was she attracted to him? Normally, he was fairly confident about when women liked him, but Lila had made him doubt himself. The way she blushed and avoided eye contact sometimes could be as much to do with her shyness as her liking him in the same way he liked her.
If she did…this was dangerous.Do. Not. Flirt,he instructed himself. He searched for an appropriate response, but his brain kept serving up things like:She thinks you look good and she’s paying attention to your body. Kiss her.He reached down and grabbed a handful of sand, letting it filter out of his fist in a stream, just to stop himself from touching her.
