Chapter Fourteen
Rowan
Rowan watched the sun come up from out in the garden of his villa. There was a distance growing between him and reality again, but he wasn’t sure this was the normal dissociation or something else. Like he’d shut down all his emotions because he couldn’t bear to feel anything at the moment.
Or maybe that was exactly why he normally dissociated, he just never expected it to happen because he’d got dumped. He thought it would be linked to something that triggered him – fear or pain or hopelessness.
Although, wasn’t he feeling all of those? Dumped was such a flippant way to think about losing Lila from his life. He was scared of what things were going to be like without her. Even though they’d only known each other a couple of months. It hurt. And it was hopeless wishing things were any different. He couldn’t change who he was. Even if he never got another acting job again, it would take some time for the media and some fans to stop being interested in him.
His phone rang and he picked it up without even checking who it was. It wouldn’t be Lila – of that, he was sure.
‘Rowan, morning,’ Wesley greeted him – his voice rough as usual from the early hour. It took until ten before he usually sounded properly awake – although he was plenty lucid enough despite how he sounded.
‘Morning. Everything okay?’ Why would Wesley be calling him? Maybe he was about to drop him from the film? Maybe all of Rowan’s luck was reversing.
‘You’re not working today. Or tomorrow. I just wanted to call and tell you I changed the schedule. We’ve got that actress coming in, and the writers are still working on that part in the church we’ve changed because of he-who-shall-not-be-named. I think it’s going to be much better anyway.’
‘Oh. Okay.’
Well, that meant he’d be able to keep sitting out here in the garden, staring at the sky.
‘What’s going on with you?’ Wesley asked. ‘I’ve been hearing all sorts of crazy things and your head wasn’t in the game at all yesterday. We may have to reshoot that scene.’
‘Sorry.’ Rowan licked his lips and forced himself to stand up to make his blood flow around his body again. Remind himself he was alive. ‘Just…it’ll…I’ll have my head screwed back on when we get back to it.’
‘Okay. Look. I’m not trying to bust your balls here. I’m happy with your performance. More than happy. You’ve exceeded my expectations and honestly, I had high ones anyway. In fact – I’ve got another project I’d like to talk to you about.’
‘Really?’ He snorted. ‘Even with all the hassle I’ve brought with me.’
Wesley laughed. ‘You can’t make an omelette without breaking a few eggs, right? I’ll send you the outline I’m working on; you tell me what you think.’
‘Okay,’ he replied, a little nonplussed by how easily Wesley was dismissing it.
‘Honestly, you’re going to knock their socks off in this movie, Rowan.’
‘Thanks Wes, that means a lot.’ It did. It was about the only thing penetrating the numbness. Because he did care about this film – he’d poured a lot of himself into it, scratched past surfaces he hadn’t even realised he had, and he’denjoyedit. Which sounded nuts, but going deeper, putting something so raw out there, felt good. Superheroes were a lot of fun – he’d loved doing those movies, but he wanted to explore this kind of work now.
And he knew that’s what Lila had meant when she skewered him at the end of the conversation, with that reminder of how she understood what he needed to deal with, even before he did himself. Telling him he deserved to be happy and wasn’t there to look after everyone else. As she broke up with him and took herself hundreds of miles away, where he could do nothing to help her.
‘Sure there’s nothing else you want to talk to me about?’ Wesley broke into his thoughts.
He hesitated. Wesley had obviously heard stuff but if Rowan told him about Lila that would cause a problem with Sibyl for breaking her NDA and if there was any small glimmer of a chance that Lila was going to change her mind and come back, he didn’t want to have influenced it in anyway. ‘No. Thank you for the offer though.’
‘No worries. Enjoy your days off.’
‘Thanks.’ Rowan hung up and squinted out at the sea. Enjoy his days off? He was on a beautiful island, staying in a lovely villa, with two full days to do whatever he wanted, and he wasn’t going to enjoy a minute of it.
Lila
Somehow, it was still early in the morning when Lila dragged herself, puffy-eyed and miserable, from the guest bedroom. All those early mornings in Sicily had indoctrinated her – Ruth had been right. You did get used to it. Sort of. No wonder it was so hard for Rowan to sort out his sleep.
The thought of Rowan made a pain lance straight through her chest.
The lounge was already light with the summer sun coming up and Stephen was in the kitchen.
‘Hey, are you an early riser or did I wake you?’ he asked, putting his coffee cup down beside his laptop on the kitchen island. ‘Noelle could sleep through anything until the hour hits double digits.’
‘You didn’t wake me. The calls into makeup are usually at 5am.’
