And honestly, I’d never brought a man over to the house who settled in so well with everyone. He took time out to chat to Sam, who had a tendency to disappear inside himself after a couple of hours of socialising. The idea that Stephen had remembered what I’d said about Sam at the funfair and made a point of it, had my organs feeling not entirely tethered inside my chest.
After that he joined Daisy taking turns playing keepy-uppy with a soccer ball. I nearly lost a whole chicken breast down the grill as I watched him showing her how to flip the ball up, bend forward and catch it behind his neck. He’d framed wanting to be a soccer player as a kid’s dream but how feasible had it actually been for him? He had some skills, I could see that much. Had he never pursued it because it wasn’t that much of a passion, or he was good but notprofessionallevel good, or just because he was that desperate to give himself and his family security? I’d have to ask for Daisy’s expert opinion later; it was written all over her face that she was impressed and would happily have him back at future family gatherings again.
By the time I was done with my turn on the barbecue, Stephen had disappeared inside, and I was called over to the table with Uncle Joe, Daisy, and Sam for a game of poker. I decided to play a few hands with them, then go find Stephen and approach my dad to ask the favour, but Tim came over before I’d even placed my second bet.
‘You should go rescue your boyfriend.’ He leaned on the back of my garden chair, the sun-warmed plastic bowing under his weight.
‘He’s not my—’ I broke off and sighed. There was no point, so I shook my head and looked up at Tim. ‘Why, what’s wrong?’
‘Lucy has palmed the baby off on him and he looks frightened.’
‘Why didn’t you help him out? I don’t think he’s used to kids.’
‘ThenI’dbe stuck with the baby.’
‘She’s your niece,’ I exclaimed.
‘Yes. And I love her dearly. But I don’t want Delia getting all broody just yet, thanks.’
‘Ugh. Here. You can take over for me.’ I thrust my cards at him and grabbed a glass of my mom’s special lemonade off the table to take with me into the house. Promising Daisy a rematch soon, I hurried inside.
Stephen was at the back of the dining room, by the big old wooden table we’d had for years. As always, it was covered with books and paperwork and broken things, we hadn’t got around to fixing yet.
He was staring down at my niece like if he looked away for a second, he’d be neglecting his duties. His shoulders were hunched but he had her securely – I could tell. She wiggled a bit and stared right back into his eyes, as though fascinated. Their dark colour probably was interesting to her. Babies focus best on contrast, plus everyone in our family had light eyes. She stretched out her tiny hand, waving it ineffectively at his face and blowing saliva bubbles.
I paused in the doorway. I wanted to go closer, but that untethered sensation was attacking me so hard again, it almost felt like fear. Something about this man, plus a baby, was making me feel odd. I hadn’t expected him to be good with kids. Of any age. It didn’t fit logically with someone who was never going to settle down, did it?
‘Am I doing OK?’ he said quietly, almost under his breath and I blinked at him. Was he talking to me or the baby?
‘You’re doing great.’ I walked in and he jumped a little. Hehadn’tbeen talking to me, which was a relief because it meant he hadn’t been aware of my miniature biological crisis…but also a little sad. He seemed to find it so hard to show any kind of vulnerability; the only person he could ask a question like that to was a baby who couldn’t give him an answer back.
Was it his profession that made him that way? Everyone probably had to appear so confident and infinitely capable…Although, now I knew what had happened with his family, it occurred to me that it could be more to do with how young he’d been when he’d lost his father figure –figuresin fact. First his real dad had walked, then his stepdad died, and now he’d lost his mom too. It was no wonder he’d retreated into this role of being in charge and looking after everyone else. And yet he didn’t see it at all. He thought of himself as a man holding himself back to protect others from his genetic predisposition to be a jerk.
What an idiot. A goddamned sexy, adorable, idiot.
I smiled and allowed myself closer. ‘She’s not crying, is she? I mean if she cries that still doesn’t mean you are doing anything wrong but the fact that she’s not definitely means she’s comfortable. She’d tell you about it otherwise.’
‘OK.’
‘You can relax. You’re not going to drop her. Unclench your muscles.’
‘Are you checking out my physique again?’ He flicked a quick glance at me, a hint of that devilish smile playing over his lips.
‘Only because you look like you’ve got rigor mortis.’
‘Ever the flatterer, Elle.’
Warmth bloomed in my chest as he called me by the shortened version of my name again.
‘I consider it my life’s mission to prevent male egos from reaching an insufferable scale,’ I quipped.
He relaxed his shoulders and shifted his arms a bit, brushing mine. I hadn’t realised I’d moved so near and reached out to stroke the soft fuzz on Brigid’s head as though that was the reason, rather than this subconscious pull I had to be near him.
‘You do have a lot of brothers to keep in line. I suppose you’ll have a lot of these too.’ He gave her a little rock, to indicate that he meant the baby.
A lump formed in my throat. ‘Unlikely.’
‘You don’t think your other siblings will have many kids?’
