‘You worry.’
‘No.’
‘Yes. You do.’ Why was he even trying to deny this? I’d clocked the way he talked about Nick and his grief back at the restaurant, likehewasn’t feeling intense loss too. ‘You worry and you try and protect him. But he’s a grown man, Stephen.’
We lapsed into silence. The baby was asleep despite the tension in our conversation. What spell had she just put over us anyhow? This little bundle of fluff had just had us spilling all kinds of deep and meaningful secrets. She was dangerous.
‘When Lucy comes back, we’ll go talk to my dad.’
‘IsLucy coming back?’
‘Yeah, she’s probably just kicking Quinn’s ass for being useless about something.’
‘Will that take long?’
‘You want me to take the baby?’
‘No. Better not disturb her, I mean.’ His arms tightened a little, cradling my niece in close and my belly dissolved.
‘Oh yeah, sure.’ I stroked my hand over Brigid’s hair once more and stole another glance at Stephen.
I really hoped Dad would help him out, because he deserved to resolve this for himself and his mother’s memory. But also because then there’d be no excuse for me to keep seeing him. Iwantedto be able to be friends with him, to invite him to Fourthof July picnics…but I wasn’t sure I could keep spending time with him and not end up doing something really self-destructive, like setting fire to my own rule book, giving into my desire and winding up where I always did with men. Hurt and alone.
Chapter Thirty-Three
Stephen
Elle’s sister Lucy finally returned, holding a baby bottle, but her shoulders slumped when she saw Brigid was asleep. ‘Dammit.’
‘Sorry.’ I winced. ‘Did you not want her to sleep?’
‘Hey, it’s not your fault. If Quinn hadn’t been distracted in the kitchen, I would’ve been able to get the bottle into her first. Instead,he’sthe one who’s had too many bottles.’ She put it on the table and opened her arms for me to pass the baby over. ‘You did well to get her off without a feed. He’s good with the little ones, eh?’ She winked at Elle, who only gave a half-smile. ‘Oooh, how’s this for an idea? Why don’t you two babysit together, tonight? You’re over this way anyhow and you’ll have some company. What d’you say, Elle? Pur-lease?’ Lucy batted her eyelashes at her sister.
‘Fine. I’ll babysit, but that has to be it for the rest of the month. I have a deadline.’ I saw the tension creep in around her forehead and lips when she spoke about her book. She’d said a lot about her helping her family and them helping her back, but all I’d seen today was her running around doing jobs and catching up with people. I knew that spending one afternoon with them didn’t make me an expert but between that and what she said about the men in her life who didn’t respect her career, I suspected this was more of an issue than she was prepared to admit to me. That the moment she let people in, she struggled not to give them too much of herself.
‘Of course.’ Lucy grinned. ‘Great. Thank you! What about you, Stephen?’
‘You don’t have to—’ Elle started.
‘It’d be my pleasure.’
Elle pressed her lips together for a second and then nodded her head. ‘OK, if you say so. C’mon, let’s go find Dad.’
She seemed pissed off at me for offering to help with the babysitting, but I was just doing what she’d told me to – being charming, and if I was there, she could do some writing if she needed to. Maybe. It wasn’t like I knew anything about babies, but I could be the one on alert so she could concentrate at the very least.
I half expected her dad to be polishing a gun like some cliché from the movies. He was much quieter than most of her family, taking everyone in with the same shrewd focus Elle had. But we found him in a small room, half asleep with a fishing magazine over his face as he leaned back on his office chair.
‘Sorry to wake you, Dad.’ Elle spoke softly and shut the door over to the office behind us.
‘Whyareyou waking me, then?’ he grumbled but sat up and threw the magazine on the desk next to him.
‘I have a favour to ask. A favour for me, for Stephen.’
‘Is that so? I figured you weren’t just here to sample an authentic US barbecue.’
‘No, but it was much appreciated,’ I thanked him. ‘As it will be if you could do this favour for me, sir.’
‘All right, all right, quit the sweet talk.’
