I was a weak woman. Weak from pain and exhaustion and wanting. ‘Deep heat is good.’
He seemed to still and then pressed his lips together and nodded sharply. ‘Right.’ He stood up and moved out of my angle of view.
Chapter Forty-One
Stephen
Agold one would be nice - though silver or bronze seemed more fitting when it came to the medal I deserved for what I was about to attempt: an Olympic standard demonstration of sadomasochism.
I rounded the bed — my bed — that Elle was face down on, to get to the side where there was room enough for me to sit beside her. What had possessed me? I could have just given her some damn ibuprofen and saved myself this torture.
Except I knew the deep heat and massage would work better, and I would prefer to take the pain myself — which wasn’t really pain, just unsatisfied lust — rather than her suffer actual pain for a minute more than was necessary.
‘Where is it worst? Upper, middle or lower?’ I asked, sitting down carefully so I didn’t jostle her too much.
‘I think it’s coming from my shoulders and neck,’ she said, her head turned away from me, likely because it was too uncomfortable to move it. Because she was suffering.
So stop the self-pity party and help her,I told myself.
For a moment, I considered asking her if she could take the t-shirt off but since she could barely move her head without it hurting, I dismissed that. Luckily, since she’d borrowed one of mine to wear there was room to manoeuvre beneath it.
I lifted her hair off the back of her neck, twisting it loosely and settling it out of the way on the pillow. Blowing out a long breath, slowly and quietly to get some focus on the priority, I unscrewed the cap on the tube of deep heat and squeezed some on my index and middle finger.
‘D’you think you can turn your head so your neck is straight?’
She made a noise of agreement and inch by inch settled herself so she was resting headfirst into the pillow. She was panting and tensing against spasms by the time she got there. It clawed at my chest, and when she whimpered, I couldn’t help but smooth her hair away again from her neck gently with my free hand.
‘It’s OK, Elle. You did it. Try to breathe slowly through the pain if you can.’
‘You sound like a midwife,’ she managed a little laugh.
I smiled and smeared the ointment evenly over the bottom of her neck and down the tight muscles stretching into her shoulders. ‘Maybe I picked up some tips from the expert at Christmas? You were phenomenal that night, did I ever tell you that?’ I said, referring to the baby she delivered in the middle of a blizzard when we were staying at Beth’s hotel together. She’d been so confident and kind, taking charge with her no-nonsense attitude, radiating calm and expertise.
She was quiet for a moment. ‘I think you did, actually,’ her reply almost sounded surprised. ‘Rachel did all the hard work, though.’
‘Of course. But it was very lucky you were there. For lots of reasons.’ As well as the baby, if she hadn’t been around, perhaps Nick and Beth never would have got back together after my meddling? And I never would have met her.
With the deep heat applied, I started to massage her with slow, steady circles; firm but not too hard to start with. She groaned and I paused.
‘OK?’
‘Yeah. Yep. Thanks.’ Her voice was tight but I could already see she was taking slightly deeper breaths.
I got a little more of the deep heat but this time I spread it underneath the collar of the t-shirt over her shoulders, one side and then the other. God, her skin was soft, even over thistense area that was mainly bone. When the tingly ointment was covering both her shoulders and a fair amount of her shoulder blades, and my wrist was testing the limits of its dexterity, I twisted so I could press the heel of my hand harder into the knots I could feel.
She swore and I stopped again. ‘Too much?’
‘No. It’s hurting but in a good way, y’know?’ She exhaled shakily.
Yeah, I think I’m familiar. I could only manage a soft grunt in response.
‘Wouldn’t it be easier to lift the t-shirt from the bottom?’
Nope. It definitely wouldn’t be easier for me. But this was not about me. ‘You’re OK with that?’
‘Yeah.’
I nodded, reminding myself that I was supposed to like challenges.
