Chapter Eight
Lisa hurried up the stairs, laden with a bag of shopping in each hand. She knew Nathan was visiting his parents and wanted to get everything ready before he was due back. As she passed Sam’s door, it opened. Lisa turned to see a boy; he looked a little older than Flick’s Megan. Maybe around ten, Lisa thought. His sandy-coloured fringe reached his deep blue eyes, and his cheekswere peppered with freckles. His jeans had designer holes at the knees and he was wearing a T-shirt with “Summer Surf Club” emblazoned across the front. Lisa smiled at him.
‘Was it—’ Sam appeared at the door, halting when she saw Lisa.
As Sam and the boy stood side by side, Lisa could see a resemblance between them and wondered if the boy was Alex.Don’t be stupid that would make Sam,what, fifteen, sixteen when she had him?Lisa dismissed the thought.
‘We wondered who it was.’ Sam folded her arms.
The boy, clearly not interested in Lisa, offered a brief smile, shrugged and went back inside the flat.
‘Just me.’Just?Lisa wished she hadn’t used a diminutive term for herself.
‘Best to be safe. I know Nate doesn’t always lock his door.’
Lisa thought aboutthe times she had been to Nathan’s flat, the door was always locked, but she decided acquiescence was probably the quickest way to get upstairs and out of Sam’s company. ‘Good plan. I’m sure Nathan will appreciate it.’ Lisa continued up the stairs.
‘That’s Nate, always appreciative.’
Oh, bog off!Lisa didn’t want to let Sam annoy her, but there was something about every word that cameout of her mouth that made Lisa think she had an ulterior motive. Rolling her eyes, she politely called back, ‘He is indeed!’
Once in Nathan’s flat and having put the shopping bags down, Lisa decided she was not going to let her encounter with Sam spoil her mission for the evening. Having decided tonight was the night for telling Nathan about her life in London and losing the baby with Ben,she just wanted to get on with it. After the rescue debacle she had put it off again, but, now it had been a month since she had spoken to Dom, he and Felicity were increasingly on her case, and she knew herself that putting it off was silly. The baby she had lost, her little Pip, was a part of who she was. She needed Nathan to know that. She wanted the evening to be perfect and had it all plannedout in her head. Dom had told her that taking control of the situation was the best approach. That it would allow her to take it at her pace, to remain calm and to remember that Nathan loved her.
Lisa had teased that Dom was turning into his gran, with his words of wisdom, but then again she knew Winnie would have put it more bluntly than that; her advice was always direct and generally apt.Lisa couldn’t wait to see her again; the thought of her walk with Jack pencilled in her diary for the following afternoon made her smile.
Lisa decided pork chops, apple sauce, mashed potato, steamed baby veg and gravy was perfect for her meal with Nathan. It didn’t take long to prepare and – with its association of being a classic in the Blake household – it was comfort food. She had considereddoing dauphinoise potatoes, but the potential for error was too high when she needed everything to go right. For dessert she had bought a tub of rocky road ice cream – Nathan’s favourite. Along with unpacking the shopping, she popped a bottle of wine in the fridge and fed and made a fuss of Uno.
When she finally heard Nathan come in, she felt her stomach flip and wondered if a meal was sucha good idea to accompany this conversation.
‘Wow, that smells good.’ Nathan walked into the kitchen, stood behind Lisa and slid his arms around her waist.
She felt the fine stubble of his chin brush her neck as he kissed her there.No turning back now.‘It will be ready in about ten minutes. There’s wine in the fridge.’
Nathan kissed her again. ‘Careful, I could get used to this.’
‘You might not say that after you’ve eaten it.’ Lisa laughed. Generally Nathan cooked for them, and Lisa organised takeaway, but she felt that didn’t have the same I’ve-made-an-effort-for-you touch when it came to preparing a special meal.
‘Well, it looks good to me, and if you’ve got it all under control, I’ll go and shower.’
‘Sure.’ Lisa exhaled as Nathan left the room. She thoughtshe had everything under control, but now Nathan was home, she could feel nerves growing inside.Come on, Lisa, hold it together!
With the chops hissing and spitting under the grill, Lisa put the veg in the steamer and remembered the apple sauce. First of all searching for it and then staring into the fridge, Lisa couldn’t find it. Come to think of it, she didn’t remember putting it in thereas she had unpacked the shopping. Pondering whether she had left it at the shop, she began to wonder if she had actually picked it up off the shelf. She remembered looking at it, but then putting it in her basket was lost in a bit of a fog.Bugger it.She decided they’d have to do without.
Poking the potatoes with the point of the vegetable knife confirmed they were done. She searched fora sieve in the cupboards but couldn’t find one. With the steamer in use, she couldn’t use that, so she decided to use the saucepan lid to hold back the potatoes while she poured out the water. Moving to the sink, she began tipping. As the first bit of water slipped through the gap, steam caught her hand. She instantly swore and dropped the lid. The potatoes thudded into the sink all at once, hot watersplashes speckled her hand, and steam rose into the air.
Overwhelmed by the slight burning sensation and the sight of the potatoes in the sink, Lisa felt instantly cross – at the potatoes, at herself, and the fact her perfect plan had gone wrong. As tears pricked at her eyes, she saw the potato masher on the side and threw it into the sink. With her attention elsewhere, the edge of the chopshad started to catch. She turned the heat off and threw the grill, complete with chops, onto the hob before slumping down onto the floor by a cupboard and crying.
Nathan appeared in the doorway, taking in the sight before him. His dark blond hair was wet and ruffled from the shower, his muscular torso was bare while stretch jersey boxer shorts complemented his physique. ‘Wow, what happened?’He crouched down in front of Lisa, his eyes flicking round the kitchen. ‘How long was I gone?’
Lisa sobbed, aware she had made it all so much worse than it needed to be, but she just couldn’t help herself. She wanted it all to be perfect. She attempted to catch her breath while Nathan looked at her. The concern in his blue eyes made her feel a fool. He dealt with real disasters on a dailybasis, yet here she was crying because steam had touched her hand and the potatoes had fallen into the sink.
‘Lisa, what happened?’
‘I’m sorry … I need to tell you something.’
‘OK.’ Nathan stilled, concern etched on his face.
Lisa could see doubt and fear in his eyes and felt guilty. ‘It’s not about us, it’s me.’
