‘OK, I’ll turn this way. Better?’ Still holding her hair, Nathan turned towards the sink.
Lisa heaved again until she felt as if everything she had eaten for the last few days had been deposited and flushed awayin the toilet. Eventually, she took the cold flannel Nathan had rinsed and wrung out for her and wiped her face.
Feeling a wreck, Lisa slunk back against the edge of the bath, wondering if things could get any more humiliating. Yesterday she’d been on the kitchen floor in tears, and today she was sitting wiped out on the bathroom floor, having thrown up several times –in front of Nathan,for goodness’ sake.
‘Last time I felt like this, overindulging in Dr. Oetker chocolate and Mum’s cooking sherry was to blame. Maybe ice cream at two in the morning doesn’t agree with me.’
‘Did you feel OK the rest of today?’ Nathan sat on the edge of the bath.
‘Yeah, fine, a bit tired but—’
‘I think we know the cause of that.’
Lisa managed to laugh. ‘Why don’t you go and eat.I’ll get sorted and come back to see if I fancy anything, maybe some of those prawn crackers.’
‘You sure?’
‘Yes, go. I can’t stop you eating every day, and if you don’t go and eat the food, Uno will.’
Nathan shut the bathroom door.
Lisa stood up, looking at herself in the mirror.Well, that was spectacularly embarrassing.She scooped water from the tap and rinsed out her mouthbefore cleaning her teeth and rinsing again. The minty taste and cool water combined was refreshing – a definite improvement. Having bleached the toilet, Lisa put the lid down and sat on it, gathering herself together. She wanted to be sure the nauseous feeling had passed before attempting to return to the table. As she sat there, she thought about what Melissa had said.Stop it, Lisa. Being emotionalover one spoilt meal, having fabulous – OK, better than fabulous – sex, and being sick does not mean you are pregnant.She and Nathan were always careful, weren’t they? She thought about Mr Chung’s odd behaviour and tried to recall what it was he had said to her. Gradually, the words began to come back to her until they sat, perfectly formed, in her mind:
‘When two people live under one skin,the heart beats stronger, love grows and life is given.’
“Two people under one skin.” Could it mean …? No.Lisa knew she had to dismiss all thoughts of being pregnant. It was silly. She and Nathan had been careful since bonfire night. When they first got together after being reunited, the sex had been a rediscovery and an exploration of the people they had become in the eleven years they hadbeen apart; it was amazing, unexpected and unprotected. But Lisa knew she had had a period soon after, and subsequently they had always been careful.
Nathan knocked on the door, asking if she was OK, causing her to jump from her thoughts.
‘Yes. Fine. I’ll be out in just a minute.’ Lisa’s heart began to thud a little too quickly as she thought about the fact she had been a bit forgetfullately – not closing the window when she was looking after the kittens, forgetting the apple sauce.Is that new?She looked back at the mirror. She had gained a little weight but nothing major. As her eyes met those of her reflection, Lisa realised she was letting her mind get carried away. It was ridiculous. Melissa should never have planted the seeds in her mind. But now they were there, sheknew she wouldn’t be able to just let them go. Pulling out her phone from her back pocket, she decided to text Felicity:
‘Do you think I would know if I was pregnant?’
The reply was almost instant: ‘OMG, are you?’
Lisa looked at the unhelpful reply and responded: ‘I don’t know. That’s why I just asked you if you thought I’d know. With Pip I definitely knew.’
‘Come round. Pete’sout. I’ve got a test.’
Lisa looked at her phone, making sure she had read it properly. ‘Why do you have a test?’
‘Long story. Come round.’
‘But I’ve bought takeaway I’m meant to be eating with Nathan.’
‘You always eat takeaway. Make an excuse and come round. You want to know, don’t you?’
Lisa stopped texting. Did she? Was she being foolish? She didn’t even know if she couldget pregnant after Pip, and then what if … what if she were pregnant, but lost this baby too? Would it be better not to know? Her mind didn’t have time to ponder that as her phone began to ring, and Felicity’s name appeared on the screen. Lisa pressed to answer the call.
‘Are you all right? Where are you?’
‘In Nathan’s bathroom,’ she whispered.
‘Right. Listen. Don’t overthink anything.Just come round and we’ll do the test and go from there. How does that sound? Or if you want to, you can do a test with Nathan—’
‘No … no, sorry, I mean, I want to be sure first.’Decision made.
Felicity breathed. ‘Nathan won’t be like Ben. You know that, don’t you?’
