Chapter Fourteen
Having excitedly discussed at length with Felicity about joining forces on the pet-sitting front, Lisa sat at her laptop ready to write a post for her Facebook business page. She had FaceTimed her parents the night before and spoken to her dad, who always liked to give advice when it came to her business. By the end of the call Lisa felt sure she was doing the right thing.She hadn’t mentioned the baby; instead she had focused on the fact that having Felicity on board would enable her to take on clients she might otherwise have to turn down. It was a version of the truth.
Writing the Facebook post would give her the opportunity to introduce Felicity to prospective clients as well as those who occasionally stopped by her page with a friendly comment about theservices she had provided. About to start, an email notification popped up on her screen. Seeing it was fromPaws About Townmagazine surprised her. Her old employer hadn’t been in touch since she left London. In fact, none of her old colleagues had been in touch to see how she was, or to wish her well on her move.
Intrigued, Lisa clicked on her inbox. She read the post twice. It seemed thefeatures editor wanted her to get in touch about testing out some products while “on the job” and reviewing them for the magazine. Lisa sat back. It had been a while since she had written anything. After Pip she found she couldn’t think clearly enough to put the words together in the right order. Everything had seemed too meaningless. But now … could she? It would mean a little extra money, andworking freelance meant she could just do it from home – or her mum’s home, or Nathan’s home if she made the move – with the baby. It seemed crazy to turn the opportunity down; in fact, she wondered why she hadn’t thought of it before.Because thinking of London was too painful; because nobody from the magazine bothered to even ask how you were.She decided to push all negative thoughts aside.This was an opportunity she had to take, and she wasn’t going to allow negative thoughts to cloud her mind on the day of her ultrasound scan.
Sitting in the waiting room, Lisa’s leg wouldn’t stop shaking. As the only outlet for the nerves she could feel building inside, it had gained a momentum of its own. She had forced down several plastic cups of too-cold water from the water cooler, asthe midwife had advised her to have a full bladder, but still her mouth felt dry. She attempted to read the posters on the wall, but the words wouldn’t sink in. All she could do was look at the women surrounding them, each at a different stage of pregnancy. She envied those with big round baby bellies, drawing near the end of their wait. Nathan placed his hand on her knee, causing her leg to still.She looked at him and attempted to smile, but her taut lips were unco-operative. She wanted to be calm; she didn’t want her fears and worries to mar the moment, but the image of the empty dark void on the black-and-white screen from her previous scan was still vivid in her mind.
When Lisa’s name was called, she jumped. Nathan held her hand. For a brief moment before they stood, he looked ather, his blue eyes meeting hers as he smiled, and she knew this time would be different. This time it was all going to be OK.
The room was functional, but the sonographer and the nurse who had shown them in were friendly. Lisa lay on the bed with her leggings pulled down to just below her stomach. Nathan sat on the chair next to her, his hand holding hers. Lisa could feel the slight tensionin his grip. As she lay back, she noticed the roundness to her stomach. She hadn’t allowed herself to think too much about the fact her jeans were feeling too tight or that her bust had increased enough for her to have cleavage for the first time in her life. Both things could have been caused by weight gain. Until the scan confirmed there was a healthy baby growing inside her, she wouldn’t allowherself to believe it was the result of her pregnancy. Once a tissue was tucked into the top of her leggings, cold lubricating gel was squeezed onto her stomach. Lisa sucked in her breath.
Dimming the lights, the sonographer began pressing and sliding a handheld probe across her stomach. His face was unreadable as he stared at the screen, clicking the mouse and occasionally tapping his keyboard.The noise of the action and the zoom of the computer seemed too loud in the silent room. Lisa wanted to ask if everything was all right. Why wasn’t he speaking? Was the baby there? Was everything OK? Lisa could feel the tension building inside. She needed to know. Letting out the breath she hadn’t realised she was holding, she went to speak, but as she did so, the sonographer turned the monitor.
Lisa stared, tears forming in her eyes.
‘And there’s your baby.’ The sonographer broke the silence.
Lisa let out a single sob and Nathan’s hand squeezed hers. She took in the sight before her, the outline of her baby’s head, its button nose silhouetted against the black background and the roundness of its cheeks. It lifted its chin. The glow of the white outline of its chest and ribsflicked on and off the screen as the sonographer moved the probe. Lisa saw its heart pounding speedily and dared to look away, a brief glance at Nathan, who was transfixed by the image before him. As the sonographer moved again, the baby jumped, causing its limbs to stretch. Tiny, fully formed hands and feet.
‘And it seems we have a big one in here,’ the man added.
Lisa thought about thewine she had drunk and her dream about her bloated baby. Preparing to confess the thought was forgotten as, with a flick of a switch, the room was filled by the sound of the baby’s heartbeat, the rhythmic rush and thud pulsing in and out – strong and vital. Lisa stared at the screen – taking in the image of the baby growing inside her. Nathan kissed her hand.
Lisa missed the sound of the heartbeatas soon as the volume was turned off. There was something magical and comforting about it. The sonographer looked at them, his face earnest. ‘Now, I’m just going to take some measurements.’ He looked at the nurse at the end of the bed, who raised her eyebrows.
Lisa didn’t know what they were communicating but decided not to worry; all she had to do was look at the screen and feel Nathan ather side to make her nerves slip away. Once again the click of the mouse became the only sound in the room. Lisa watched as the screen was paused and measurements were taken of the baby via a series of crosses and dotted lines. Each time the picture was unpaused, she saw the baby move. At times, if the baby wasn’t co-operating, the probe was wiggled on her belly, encouraging the baby to change position.Lisa was bursting for the toilet, but she didn’t want the scan to end. When finally the sonographer looked at them, he smiled.
‘So this is your dating scan?’
‘Yes.’
‘And do you have an idea of your dates at all?’
‘No, not really,’ Lisa confirmed, feeling a bit foolish.
‘Well, your baby is measuring at eighteen weeks.’
‘Wha—’ Lisa couldn’t finish the word.
‘Eighteen?’Nathan looked at the man questioningly.
The sonographer glanced at a chart. ‘So that would make conception early—’
‘November!’ Lisa and Nathan spoke in unison. Lisa knew the night had been special; the fireworks, the bonfire, the intimate atmosphere for two once they had returned to Nathan’s flat – and now it seemed it had been special in more ways than one.
‘My chart says Novembersixth, but these things are just a guide. And that gives you a due date of July thirtieth.’
Lisa’s mind was still trying to keep up.Eighteen weeks pregnant.How could I have not known that?‘But I’m sure I’ve had a period since then, and wouldn’t I … wouldn’t I know it if I am eighteen weeks pregnant?’
‘You’d be surprised. Some people can make it to the birth and not know until the babyarrives.’
‘But shouldn’t I be feeling the baby move? I could see it moving on the screen; shouldn’t I be able to feel that?’
‘You will feel it soon. Some first-time,’ the sonographer glanced at Lisa’s notes before continuing, ‘some mums don’t feel movements until later on. No two pregnancies are the same.’
‘But how will I know the baby is all right if I can’t feel it?’
