Crouching to startthe clear-up operation, Felicity heard Pete call from the bottom of the stairs.
‘What was that?’
‘Mummy knocked the stuff off the shelf.’
‘You OK, Flick?’ Pete’s voice came again.
Felicity didn’t answer.
‘Mummy?’
‘Err … I’m … fine.’ Felicity knew she should answer with more conviction, her voice sounded shaky, and Megan was a worrier; she needed to reassure her. But sittingcrouched, staring at the mess, holding the empty tampon box in her hand and reliving the dizzy feeling she had felt in the kitchen, the words would not come. It was a feeling she knew she had felt before. A feeling she thought she wouldn’t have again. Staring at the empty box, its contents scattered amongst the bottles, balls of cotton wool and earbuds on the floor, she wondered when it was shehad last used them – when had she last had a period?Before Barbados.
Pete’s footsteps thudded up the stairs. ‘Flick?’ He rattled the handle. ‘Megan, go and check on the others.’
‘But, Dad—’
Before Christmas.
‘Go on. I’ll help Mummy.’
Before Christmas shopping.
‘Flick, open the door.’
How long before then?
‘Felicity!’
She heard Pete fiddling with the outsideof the lock – she knew he could open the door. He’d done it before when Fred locked himself in and again when Alice had secretly been making potions and was trying to test them on Callum. The realisation dawning on her, Felicity stood up. Pete couldn’t find her dumbfounded, crouched on the floor. She couldn’t offer an explanation, not one she wanted to be true, or that she was ready to share. Shepulled open the door, and her eyes met Pete’s. He looked at her and at the mess.
‘Are you all right? Why didn’t you answer?’
‘Sorry. I … I’m fine—’
‘But—’
‘I’ve knocked the stuff off the shelf. That’s all.’ She started acting on autopilot, picking up the things that had dropped. ‘I’ll be down in just a minute.’
‘I’ll help you.’
‘For goodness’ sake, Pete. It’s fine. Everything’sfine.’It has to be fine.She knew she sounded horrible, that Pete was just checking on her, making sure she was OK – the way he always did. She breathed and attempted to smile. ‘I’ll do this. You sort the children.’
Pete looked from the mess to Flick and then down the stairs, clearly torn as to what he should do. ‘You sure?’
‘Yes. They’ll burn the bloody kitchen down if you leave themmuch longer.’
‘Everything’s in the oven now.’
Felicity looked at him, raising an eyebrow.
‘Good point.’
‘I’ll be down in two minutes.’ With that, Felicity shut the door and picked up the rest of the mess. Before leaving the bathroom, she slipped off her towel and looked in the mirror. There were no tell-tale signs. Her breasts looked the same as they always did. She felt and lookedher normal self. Flick wrapped the towel back round herself, pulling it in a little tighter. Just because her periods were normally like clockwork, just because she hadn’t missed one before without being pregnant didn’t mean the stress of Christmas or the shock of going to Barbados couldn’t have thrown her cycle out.Did it?There had to be a logical explanation. There just had to be, becausewomen whose husbands have had a vasectomy don’t just get pregnant.Do they?
