“Okay, fine,” I exasperate, sitting down next to her now that both our areas are ready for the movie. “Yes, I really like him. He can come off so grumpy and mean, but he’s truly just so sweet and gentle, and I love seeing both sides of him. He’s responsible and patient, has a great relationship with his mom and sister, a stable job. I’m sure he even has a headboard and separates his whites from his colors when he does laundry.”
The words pour out of me—talking about Jack is as seamless as talkingtohim.
“And don’t even get me started on when he’s in his station wear—God, Av, I don’t know what I would do if I saw him in hisfull gear.” The thought of Jack waltzing into Hey Honey’s with Anderson when they were on a grocery run, stopping to bring me a smoothie bowl from a place I mentioned to him I wanted to try—I had to literally pick my jaw up off the floor at both the act and the way he looked in his station’s collared shirt and cargo pants. “And him and Evee? They’re literally best friends, and he treats her like she’s the most precious thing in the world. I swear, he’s too good to be true.”
“Oh, no. Don’t start that,” Ava protests, shaking her head at me. “You can talk about the good stuff without the doubt, Rue.” She bumps me with her shoulder before adding, “And by the way you just talked for the longest I think I’ve ever heard you talk in my entire time knowing you, I’d say there is a lot of good stuff when it comes to Jack.”
I can’t help but laugh. “I know, I know,” I tell her. “But I’m serious. It’s like I’m waiting for something to go wrong because things are going so well.”
“So enjoy it.” Ava wraps an arm around my shoulder, pulling me in. “I told you, you deserve to be happy, and it really looks like Jack makes you happy. And opening up to him like you told me you did last weekend? That’s huge.”
“He makes me feel so protected, but not in a way that is overbearing or that makes me feel like I can’t take care of myself. It’s like he’s there in case I need it, and it makes me feel so safe.”
Ava nods, absorbing the words. “I can’t imagine how healing that must be.”
I wrap my arms around her waist, pulling my best friend into a hug. “He makes me really happy, Av.”
“Good because I’ll kill him if he doesn’t,” Ava says, making us both laugh as she wraps her other arm around me, squeezing me tight. “And I know all of this can feel scary. You and I both know that finding love after being with people who fucked us up feels impossible—the universe knows I’m still trying to figure itout—butyouare going to do it.” She loosens her grip around me, both of us sitting back to look at each other. “You are going to let yourself fall for this guy because I honestly believe that he will catch you every single time.”
Emotion clogs my throat. I’ve felt so sure of myself and my decision to trust my developing feelings for Jack. Trusting him has been so healing for me because it’s allowed me to build back trust in myself and my ability to know what’s best for me and Evee, all while putting myself together after Trevor nearly broke me beyond repair.
But Ava’s reassurance is something that makes letting myself fall for Jack, knowing I’ll survive whatever that outcome is, not seem so scary.
“Snack delivery!” Anderson's voice booms, snapping both our attention to the two men coming our way. Anderson carries a tray of every candy you could possibly think of while balancing two sodas and a huge bucket of popcorn. Next to him, Jack carries a tray of his own, the two sodas and a much smaller popcorn, not as precariously perched.
The sun has set now, the dark sky lit with a ten-minute countdown and the dimming high lights surrounding the open field, giving everyone time to get settled before the movie starts.
“I’ll see you after,” Ava says, giving me a wink as she hops off the truck bed, helping Anderson carry all their snacks into his trunk before the two of them get settled.
Jack carries his tray over, setting it down before turning around to push himself up onto the truck. Goosebumps cover my skin as his warm leg presses against mine, and I can’t help the shiver that takes over my body at the contrast of the cool night air and the heat of his body.
Without hesitation, Jack shrugs out of his flannel, draping it over my shoulders before wrapping his arms around me. “I had a feeling you’d get cold,” he whispers against my temple as thecountdown projecting enters its last minute. “Let’s get you under one of the blankets.”
He scoots back, leaning against the pillows I set up. “Come here,” he says when I look over my shoulder and find him holding the blanket up, waiting for me.
I stand up on the truck bed, walking over to him, stopping between his legs as he taps the space between his thighs. “Sit.”
Blood rushes up to my cheeks, and I watch his eyes darken as he looks up at me, waiting for me to do as he says—the snacks now long forgotten.
I slowly sit, turning so my back is against his front, my body fitting perfectly between his legs, feeling every inch of him against me. He settles the blanket on top of us, but I no longer have the need for one, not with the heat radiating off him, warming me inside and out.
Although there’s hundreds of people parked in this open field right now, the sides of the truck and the darkness of the night make it feel like it’s just us.
There’s more privacy than I thought there would be, and I wait for the nerves to assault my stomach as the countdown reaches zero, the movie about to start, but I’m met with a wave of anticipation low in my belly, like we’re on the precipice, on the edge ready to freefall.
As the movie begins, I can barely focus on the opening line. Something about her never giving much thought to how she would die, but all I can think about is Jack’s arms around me, the smell of his cedarwood body wash making me dizzy, the feeling of his heartbeat against my back as he holds me against him, my body pressed against his—it all might kill me.
I couldn’t tell you what happened in the first thirty minutes of the movie, too engrossed with this unfamiliar awareness on my skin—like every nerve on my skin is exposed. I keep shifting in my seat, trying to find any source of relief, but it’s useless.
Shifting once again in Jack’s lap, his arms around me tighten, and he holds me still.
His mouth comes to my ear, his breath hot against my skin. “I’m going to need you to stop moving,” he whispers. His voice is strained, like his patience is wavering.
“Just getting comfortable,” I whisper, both of our eyes on the screen, a blue hue mixing with the darkness.
“You’ve been trying to get comfortable for half an hour,” he whispers back.
I shift again, and an unmistakable groan escapes Jack’s throat as my ass accidentally pushes further back into his lap, meeting the hardness ofhim.
