“Oh, that’s where you’re wrong.” His expression turnedcold. “I needed to see for myself that my wife is living withanother man.And—” he slammed a fist into his palm, “—I can’t exactly deal with my cousin from two thousand miles away!” he yelled over his shoulder.
“Hey, now!” Theo called through the open door, voice landing somewhere in the soprano range. He was pressed against the far living room wall, easing his way over to the front door. “I didn’t lay a hand on her, all right. It was strictly a platonic?—”
Griffin whirled and jabbed a finger at Theo. “You.”
That one word must’ve put the fear of God into Theo because he screamed, “Red alert!” into his phone. “Red alert! Rage-Powered Carrot Stick is on the premises! I repeat, Carrot Stick is on the premises! I need an extraction! NOW!”
“Rage-powered carrot stick?” Griffin barked. “You have some serious nerve. First, you move my wife in with you, you money-grabbing vulture! Then you name me after a Veggie Tales character?” He cracked both thumb knuckles and took a large, menacing step toward the living room.
Theo whimpered, face white as a sheet, hands up in surrender. “It just happened, okay? She needed a place to stay, and I needed the rent money. She didn’t want to freeload off your parents. So it was either stay here, or she’d have to get a room at the Seddledowne Motel—and I didn’t think you’d want your wife staying in a room where a red light would reveal baby batter on every available surface.”
Griffin’s nod was more threat than agreement. “It just happened? Sure, sure,” he said, voice dropping in a way that absolutely wrecked my ability to think clearly. He waved a hand at the whole of my room, sharp and controlled. “So the pastel bedding, twinkle lights, and fresh flowers are what? A coincidence?” I’d told Theo the flowers might be too much. But Theo had strong Joanna Gaines energy when it came todecorating. “You’re on borrowed time, cuz.” His fingers curled into fists, veins rising in his forearms as his sleeves pulled tight.
Which, frankly, felt like a personal attack. I fanned my pajama top in and out, trying to cool off.
“Fine.” Theo gulped. “I’ll admit I might’ve gone overboard. I just wanted to make Nova jealous. And bro, it worked.” He had the stupidity to look excited.
I pressed a hand to my forehead.Read the room, Theo.
“Don’t call me bro.” Griffin prowled toward him, back muscles flexed.
I’d have been more worried for Theo if I weren’t struggling to keep my estrogen from boiling over. Griffin was insufferably attractive when he was being possessive.
Theo pinched his fingers together. “I’m this close to getting Nova to admit she has feelings for me.” He clapped his hands together, begging. “Please don’t kill me, and please let Juliette stay.”
“No,” Griffin commanded. “My wifeis most definitely not staying with you.”
“Your soon-to-be ex-wife,” I inserted. “And, yes, I am.” Though if he kept calling mehis wife,I might not be able to stick to my guns.
Griffin’s head snapped around to look at me. “My. Wife,” he dragged his bottom lip between his teeth for emphasis. “Currently and eternally. And you’re not staying here.”
My cheeks flamed and I fanned faster. “We’ll see.”
“You’re right. We will.” He whirled back to face his cousin, but just then, a side-by-side roared in the distance—Theo’s getaway vehicle.
“Good doggie.” Theo jingled a set of keys like they were a juicy steak and he was trying to appease a Doberman. “Use the house for the day. Have make-up sex in every room. I just washed my sheets. I’ll get out of your ha-ir now.”
“You’ll have to outrunme first,” Griffin said. “Hope you have full coverage because you’re gonna need it.”
Theo let out an ear-splitting shriek, and the keys went flying. By the time they clattered onto the floor, the screen door was banging wildly, and he was halfway across the yard, screaming as if Griffin had released the hounds.
Griff whipped around, fire in his eyes. “Stay.” Then he charged after Theo.
I stood by the door, watching as Bowen pulled in. He wasn’t quite fast enough, though, and Griff caught up before they could make a U-turn. He yanked Theo out of the side-by-side and threw him on the grass. Theo curled into a ball, protecting his head as if he were under a grizzly bear attack.
Bowen slammed on the brakes and came back around. But I wasn’t sure Bowen would make it in time to save Theo.
I was about to yell at Griff to back off when he reached down and…
Gave Theo an atomic wedgie.
Coming off the ground a few inches, Theo howled like he’d been cut in half, while his hands flailed behind him in a frantic but completely useless rescue attempt.
I bit down on my knuckle to keep from laughing.
“Try me again.” Griffin dropped him onto his stomach. “And there will be more where that came from.”
Theo crab-crawled away faster than should’ve been humanly possible. Once upright, he slid onto the side-by-side, and they took off.
