‘I can tell,’ shouted Miss Hemingway, making me jump out of my skin. Is my sadness that obvious?
Felix waved back. ‘My Christmas present, the one we talked about the other day, will make her happy again.’
Before he could say another word, I dragged him away. Out of earshot I turned to him and barked, ‘Why did you say that? Your mother called her abusybody. I’ll be the talk of Brighton.’
Felix grinned mischievously. ‘Sorry, Aunty Emily, I’m sure she won’t mention it at one of her coffee mornings.’
‘WHAT?’
Felix nodded. ‘Miss Hemingway is very popular. Don’t worry, I am going to make you happy again, Aunty Emily.’
‘I’m not sure if that’s possible,’ I murmured, picturing Vivi and Rory in my mind. Thinking about what Felix had said to Miss Hemingway I turned to him. ‘Have you been talking to her?’
He nodded. ‘Out of my bedroom window.’ As he walked a little way in front of me, I found myself thinking about how little I know about Felix.
Huge snowflakes are now descending from the sky and the sight of them is fuelling my anxiety. I hope the trains will get us to London and back later this afternoon. At the edge of my mind are all the swing dresses I have yet to finish, the new photo images I need to upload to Instagram, the changes I need to make to my website and the latest orders I need to process which came through last night. My shoulders and neck are so tense with anxiety they are like rods of iron. I can’t stop worrying about Miss Hemingway telling the neighbourhood I shout a lot. All the talk and memories of Rory have taken my heart hostage as well. I am also distracted by Rory’s third date with Beth this afternoon. I can’t help thinking whether he’s slept with her yet. Shards of what feels like jealousy keep torturing my poor heart.
The pavements are coated in white snow which is delighting Felix. I am holding Baxter and watching Felix dance and twirl in the snow with an ear-to-ear smile. He moves with such grace, something I have not witnessed before. My eyes are drawn to his pointed toes and the intricate set of steps he takes before leaping into the air. His thin body arches and all I can do is murmur, ‘Wow – Felix, you can dance.’ He stops and I notice his cheeks are flame red. Turning on his heel he continues to dance.
Baxter and I stand and watch Felix. My mind drifts. I wonder what Rory is doing right now. Nibbling on a fingernail I think about all my dress orders back home. Guilt creeps up my spine. Today is about Felix enjoying himself. It shouldn’t start with me struggling to contain a head full of worries. How I wish I could let all of them go, relax, and enjoy my time with Felix.
The Rory and Beth date also won’t leave me alone. What happens if Beth is amazing in bed, and they spend all of Christmas having great sex and he gets so carried away he asks her to marry him on New Year’s Eve?
Felix has stopped dancing and is staring at me. ‘Are you thinking about Rory, Aunty Emily?’
I let out a nervous laugh. ‘Don’t be silly, I’m thinking about how wonderful it is to have all this snow.’
Felix shakes his head. ‘You do know I can tell when you’re lying, Aunty Emily.’
CHAPTER8
FELIX
Taking his mum’s phone out of his pocket Felix looks over his shoulder to see whether Aunty Emily is watching. He spots her a little way behind looking in a shop window. ‘Mummy, it’s me, again. I must talk quietly as Aunty Emily might hear. We’re off to London. Say hello to Baxter.’ Holding the phone with one hand and Baxter in the other, he gently presses Baxter’s face against the screen and makes a woof sound for him.
‘I set my alarm clock early so I could pack my rucksack. Amelie suggested I should take a skipping rope as in all the action films she watches rope always comes in useful. As we passed her house yesterday, she grabbed hers and gave it to me. Ronnie got excited and said a life jacket would also be useful to have in my rucksack. I had to explain to him that I wouldn’t be crossing any water. Sai always comes up with good ideas. He suggested I take chargers for my phone and Aunty Emily’s iPad, plus, he said, a torch, batteries, and clean underwear. Amelie was really impressed with Sai’s ideas. Ronnie went in a mood because no one liked his life jacket idea.’ Baxter is wriggling about so Felix rearranges him.
‘Wish me luck. I am going to get into so much trouble today.’
He points the phone upwards so that his mum can see the millions of fluttering white snowflakes descending from the sky. ‘Look, Mummy, it’s snowing.’
After wiping Baxter’s head, he goes to stand in a doorway. ‘Last night I had a dream it was last Christmas, and you were still here with me. We were in the kitchen making Christmas lunch. I was trying to peel the potatoes and you were chopping carrots. We were singing along to Christmas songs on the radio. I was so happy. There were twinkly lights everywhere. Aunty Emily and Rory came to the door with presents and everyone was smiling. When I woke up, I went downstairs to find you. The house was dark and cold. It was a dream and I cried.’
He nuzzles his face into Baxter’s fur. ‘Amelie is worried I will get grounded forever when Aunty Emily finds out what I have done, and she’ll have to hang out with Ronnie and Sai by herself. Amelie keeps asking me to describe the old Aunty Emily and the new Aunty Emily. She doesn’t understand what I mean. I said when the old Aunty Emily picked me up from school, she would be happy to see me, and we would walk home talking. Once home she would make the best buttery white toast and we’d sit on the sofa eating and watching one of my ballet DVDs. Aunty Emily would look at the weather and if it was nice, we’d go down to the beach, roll our jeans up and paddle in the sea. I’d get to stay up late too.’ He pauses to check on Aunty Emily. She’s rummaging through her handbag and hasn’t moved any further from when he last checked.
‘The new Aunty Emily looks sad when I come out of school. She’s always in a hurry to get home because a dress needs sewing, or an order needs to be posted. When we get home, we get upset and don’t feel like talking. I know she cries a lot because I can hear her when I am in my bedroom. She’s sad about you and Rory. Amelie said I had to do something. She was the one who gave me the idea for the plan. I told Amelie I was only nine and a half and there wasn’t much I could do. Amelie said nine-and-a-half-year-olds can change the world. She said everyone thinks we are silly little kids, and we have to show them our secret powers.’
He checks again on Aunty Emily. ‘Mummy, I have to go now. She’s walking towards me. Talk later and don’t worry about me.’
CHAPTER9
RORY
‘Ibetter go,’ I say, rising from the breakfast bar stool. ‘Once again I am sorry for last night and for vomiting on your sofa.’
Cassie places a hand on my arm. ‘Wait – why haven’t you given Emily the locket her sister bought her?’
The memory of Emily’s tear-stained face greeting me at the hospital unearths itself at the back of my mind. I can still remember holding her crumpled body as she wept on my shoulder. ‘Vivi’s dead,’ she sobbed. ‘My beautiful sister has died, Rory.’ Every muscle in my body has tensed. I try to send the memory back to the shadows in my head but fail. Between sobs I can hear Emily telling me how she found Vivi unconscious in the toilet. My heart has begun to ache. Emily is holding me so tightly. ‘Where were you? I have been calling you all night.’ Guilt uncoils itself in my stomach. Where was I? If she’d known I’d gone back to Anna’s flat for a late-night coffee, which ended disastrously as Anna had assumed I wanted to sleep with her and had taken off her clothes in front of me, Emily would have broken into tiny pieces. While her sister was dying, I was trying to persuade an emotional Anna to put her clothes back on, and apologising for giving her mixed signals.
