Felix screws up his face. ‘I don’t like her. Rory will get rid of her when he sees us.’
I stroke his shoulder. ‘Felix, it’s not that simple. Rory and I split up because he was at a different life stage to me. He still wanted to go partying.’
‘I don’t mind Rory going to parties,’ exclaims Felix.
Inside of me I let out a series of inner screams. Felix has an answer for everything. He’s outplaying me all the time.
‘Look, Felix, becoming your guardian was a big thing for me. I wasn’t going to be the old Emily Rory knew before everything happened.’
He casts me a puzzled look. ‘Why can’t the old Emily come back?’
‘I have to look after you now, Felix. There are so many things to think about when you are raising a child.’
He stares at me. ‘It makes you sad – doesn’t it?’
‘What?’
‘Raising me? I know it makes you unhappy, Aunty Emily.’
His words make me jolt with shock. Is that what he thinks? ‘Felix,’ I croak, ‘looking after you doesn’t make me sad.’
‘That’s why you sew all the time.’
I feel like I have just been punched in the stomach. Before my brain can stop the words on my tongue from being released, they shoot out of my mouth. ‘I don’t feel I am as good as your mum was at looking after you so I distract myself with sewing.’
Felix rests his head against my shoulder. ‘You also miss Rory – don’t you? That makes you sad as well.’
‘Rory is not ready for an adventurous nine-year-old and a sewing-obsessed girlfriend.’
Felix is shaking his head in defiance. ‘You have got him all wrong, Aunty Emily. Rory was brilliant to me.’
‘Rory is with Beth now’. Why does saying that make me feel like I am stabbing myself in the heart?
‘You two look like you are friends again,’ says a familiar voice, interrupting our strained discussion. It’s the stranger who helped me locate Felix. He’s now sat opposite us.
Wiping my eyes with my sleeve I ruffle Felix’s hair and let out a nervous laugh. ‘We were always friends – weren’t we, Felix?’
Felix mumbles something under his breath and takes out my iPad from his rucksack. I turn to the stranger. ‘Thank you so much for pointing him out to me.’
The stranger smiles. He has piercing blue eyes, floppy short brown hair and a friendly face. ‘No problem. My name’s Will by the way.’
‘I’m Emily and this is Felix.’
Will nods at Felix but doesn’t get a reaction. Felix doesn’t smile. He just goes back to the iPad. Baxter, to my surprise, gets up from Felix’s lap and lies down on mine.
‘That’s a cute dog,’ says Will.
I stroke Baxter. ‘This is Baxter and we have formed a new friendship today.’
Will gestures for me to carry on.
‘Let’s just say Baxter and I didn’t get off on good terms but today we each realised the other is not so bad.’
‘Ah, you and Baxter have finally bonded,’ says Will. ‘I had the same issue with my mother’s dog. We were enemies until my mother broke her hip and I had to look after him.’
‘You can relate to what I’ve been through then?’
Will laughs. ‘Yes, I can. Cookie the dog and I are the best of friends now.’ He runs his hand through his hair. ‘So, are you, Felix and Baxter going anywhere nice?’
